Lots of men in my new job ..aibu?

[melleb33]

I start a new job Monday.
I've been really looking forward to it.
Good money etc and I feel lucky to have found something given current circumstances.
Today I had a teams meeting to get introduced to everyone.
7 new starters and 5 of them are male.
Only me and another woman.
All the managers are male.
I just feel like it's going to be such a male dominated office.
I'm now worried incase this other woman doesn't turn up and it's just me and all the men.
I worry we will have nothing in common
I worry on team nights out I won't be able to go
Aibu ?

YABU.

You are all humans ergo you will have stuff in common.
New job nerves that’s all.

YABU

I think I'm letting my anxiety get the better of me

@melleb33

I start a new job Monday. I've been really looking forward to it. Good money etc and I feel lucky to have found something given current circumstances. Today I had a teams meeting to get introduced to everyone. 7 new starters and 5 of them are male. Only me and another woman. All the managers are male. I just feel like it's going to be such a male dominated office. I'm now worried incase this other woman doesn't turn up and it's just me and all the men. I worry we will have nothing in common I worry on team nights out I won't be able to go Aibu ?

Ah c'mon OP!

It's not 1950! Why wouldn't you get on & work well with them? You aim to do a good job, hopefully they do similar & that's the most important part.

Regarding nights out, it won't be an issue for now but really, it should be fine.

Focus on you & how you're going to excel in your role.

Without any further information YABU OP. As long as they’re professional you can what’s find something in common.
Having said that I have been in male-dominated teams where the dominant conversation was around video games. That was a sign of a bad team however as my next team was all male and much more balanced/welcoming

Presumably you all have in common the fact that you were the best people for the job. The fact you are writing them off because they are male is not a flying start to building positive working relationships. Not everyone works with a team who socialise together, but there is nothing to say that post covid you cannot, if that is the type of group that develops.

YABU.

Congratulations though!

I think you're worrying prematurely.

I work in a team that's all male except for me and I can understand your concerns but I'd recommend against jumping to conclusions. My experience has been working with a great team and while I'm not super pally with all of them and don't get stuck in with the cricket talk that socialisation has been divided by interest not by gender, it's true that the parts i've stayed out of have been more stereotypically masculine but we also have blokes who aren't into sports and DIY chatter and some of the sporty blokes are equally interested in talking books, TV and gardening. I've never had anything less than a good time on team nights out (and tbh it's been kind of relaxing not having to worry about other female colleagues turning up dressed to the nines and making me look shabby although that's probably some internalised sexism of my own in play). And any concerns about sexism were put to sleep by the fact work records show there have been plenty of female members on the team and the wider workplace has a pretty even gender split it was just my round of recruitment shook out heavily male.

Of course it's possible what you're seeing is a symptom of sexist culture or that one or more of the men on your team will be sexist and you'll have a harder time responding to it without the support of other women, and the numbers you've given are probably a cue to keep a closer eye out than you might in a more mixed team, but I wouldn't write them all off before you've had a chance to get to know them and see what their actions show.

You've just got the job and you're concerned about nights out!
It's a job
It's not a social club

I was the only female, and only one without a degree, in my senior management team.

I was also the one who knew more about football than all of them put together. I was also better at my job than any one of them could ever be. And I was the only one of them who had a job and raised a child as a single parent

There was, literally, nothing that they could say or do that would bring me down, though a couple of them tried.

Opening poster, you will be ok, you got your job on your merits. So did they but they had an advantage ( being male) you didnt. You are already winning 😀

So this is what the world has come to?

I've mainly worked in male dominated environments and it's not ever occurred to me that I wouldn't get on with any of them. People are people, they're all different and their sex is no reason to discount them immediately as potential work friends.

Give it 6 months and it might have swung the other way, it happens even in the most male dominated departments.

In my last jobs women have made me far more miserable than men.

@melleb33 I work in a male dominated workplace/career and I've never had an issue so don't worry.

Only thing I would say is guys chat/jokes is different from womens, but you'll get used to football and sport chat everyday.

7 new starters and 5 are male? (5:2)
It would only have taken one more woman and one fewer man to make it nearly even (4:3)? So I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe this is just nerves and you have attached them to this issue.
Hope the new job goes well on Monday.

Definitely YABU, they’re just people. Not sure why the contents of their underwear means you won’t have anything in common or not be able to socialise with them.

If you’ve come this far without any male friends maybe this is a great opportunity to stop judging/generalising based on someone’s sex and be a bit more open to being friends with people based on important qualities like kindness, humour, loyalty, fun, support, adventures - whatever it is that appeals to you in a person (aside from ownership of a penis or not - which is completely irrelevant in a platonic friend or work colleague IMO!). Good luck in your new job - go in without preconceptions & you might find you’ve been really missing out!

I've worked over 20 years in a profession in which over 95% of the workers are male. It's never been a problem for me. I love my job and I work with some very interesting people. I have never been subjected to a conversation about football. Happy to talk about cricket though!

My department is around 85% male, I haven't found it to be a problem. Good luck with the new job!

YABU

I wouldn't worry about it from a social standpoint. I think you'll find you have a lot in common with some of them.
I would, however, keep an eye on progression within the team and do (however you can) ensure you have the same opportunities/pay as the men at your same level, and if you find this isn't the case, speak up to your manager.

I used to work in a very male dominated job and it was great! Met my (male) best friend there and that was over 20 years ago. Nights out used to be the best, you’d always feel safe going to the pub with 20 blokes around you

YAB-sort of-U

I work in a very male dominated industry and am the only female in a team of about 20.

I’m no football fan/ gamer / car maniac and I never try to be “one of the lads” but I’ve got plenty in common with lots of the men I work with (families, sports, food, humour, tv shows) and I do get on well with pretty much all of them. There is a bit of sexist banter, but it’s generally good humoured and done in a teasing way. They are all good guys and I feel I give as much as I get.

I do feel that I hold back on nights out & socialising. I’ll go along for 1 or 2 but it’s just not the same if it’s all blokes so I’ll generally go home early.

I would prefer to work with more woman, but it’s just the way it is in my industry.

Hope your new job goes well on Monday!

Amazing, you'll have the best time. And congratulations.. they are just humans!!

YABU