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Original poster

Son upset about weight gain

135 replies

funny34 · 15/02/2021 13:18

Hi all,

With the lockdown ever present, I have started to get dressed (after weeks of staying in pyjamas/loungewear) even though we are not allowed out. I have also started to encourage my kids and DH to do the same. This has helped to put me in a more positive mood.

However, my son, 14, decides that he doesn't want to get dressed. I explained to him that it may boost his mood as if you stay in pyjamas etc it makes you feel lazier. I asked him why he wouldn't get changed and he said he was happy in his pyjamas. So I decided that rather than argue, it would be easier to just let him stay in the pyjamas.

DH and I went shopping and managed to get the kids to come in the car for a drive, only to the supermarket and back home again, as opposed to them staying in watching tv/playing on games. Once again DS wouldn't get dressed.

So when we came back, I sat down with DS and asked him why he wouldn't get dressed. His tshirts, jumpers etc all fitted but when he put on his jeans, he couldn't button them up. I explained to him that we are all in the same situation and not to worry. He said I'm getting fat and I want to fit back in my clothes. I said to him that he was growing and would need bigger sizes soon anyway. However, he has now decided that he is going to start exercising more and eating healthier.

Should I be worried or should I monitor what he does?

OP posts:
Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 09:01

@Washimal I certainly didn't notice his weight gain. It was only when he showed me that his jeans didn't fit, that showed me that he had put on weight.

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Lougle · 17/02/2021 09:07

He needs to be more active and eat normally so that he can grow into his body. Why is he still in children's jeans? My youngest is 11 and she's already moved into adult sizes - she's quite tall and the proportions are all wrong in children's sizes now. If the waist fits, the legs are too short.

Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 09:09

@Lougle he is in age 16 jeans. He is 5ft6. The length is fine, just the waist too small.

He is starting to exercise more and eat less sweet things. He asked me to help him as its upsetting him.

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Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 09:12

@Savethewhales

Go on gumtree and find a second hand treadmill for him to use, if he isn't at school he won't be getting his 3 weekly pe classes so that could contribute to weight gain esp being stuck in
Good idea... although i'm not sure he likes jogging/running.
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Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 09:39

Should I buy bigger clothes for DS?

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Porcupineintherough · 17/02/2021 10:12

You should talk to him and agree a way forward. If he doesnt want a whole new wardrobe fine, as long as he's got a couple of things he can wear right now and can exercise in (the exercise is for general health and well being, any weight loss will depend in what and how much he ears).

MrsPernicious · 17/02/2021 11:41

@funny34

Should I buy bigger clothes for DS?
Unless you expect him to leave the house in his pyjamas, yes.

Get him some track pants and do something like couch to 5k with him.
Also, teach him to cook sensible meals.

Just do it

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 17/02/2021 11:48

@funny34

Should I buy bigger clothes for DS?
Well, he's gone from somewhere around a child's 27-29 inch waist/5'3" height, depending upon which jeans he already has, to a man's size with about a 30 inside leg.

I wouldn't buy children's clothes for that reason; an adult size would seem less 'you're putting on weight' and more 'you're a young man, not a child'.

Motivateinmotion · 17/02/2021 12:32

Yes he definitely needs some new clothes for the meantime. Ones that make him feel comfortable and not self conscious. That’s not to mean he then doesn’t have to work on being healthier and fitter. But I really would stress that you can’t guarantee he will fit back in to those specific jeans. He may well get to the weight he used to be but his proportions have changed or he’s gained muscle instead. It’s not as simple as pinpointing where to lose weight on the body and dropping on those specific areas that’s why a main aim of healthier/fitter is a better goal than specifically fitting those jeans.

Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 13:30

@NeverDropYourMoonCup well the jeans he tried on to show me how they fit, were age 16. The length was perfect (just tight on legs) and waist wouldn't zip and button. They are skinny/slim fit. He is 5ft6.

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Emeraldshamrock · 17/02/2021 13:55

No it is fine he is taking responsibility for his lockdown bulge.
He'll fit into bigger clothes anyway as he ages without having to size around his stomach.

Emeraldshamrock · 17/02/2021 13:57

NeverDropYourMoonCup Great username 👌 🤣

Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 14:01

@Emeraldshamrock I just wish i'd have spotted it sooner.

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Porridgeoat · 17/02/2021 14:03

Why have you all stayed in the house and not exercised daily? Even a walk or a bike ride each day?

Porridgeoat · 17/02/2021 14:09

Good to read you’re going to start exercising daily. It doesn’t really matter what the weather is, wrap up if it’s wet and use torches if it’s dark.

Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 14:13

@Porridgeoat

Good to read you’re going to start exercising daily. It doesn’t really matter what the weather is, wrap up if it’s wet and use torches if it’s dark.
We are trying to get out for a walk everyday, inbetween work/school work.
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NeverDropYourMoonCup · 17/02/2021 15:12

[quote funny34]@NeverDropYourMoonCup well the jeans he tried on to show me how they fit, were age 16. The length was perfect (just tight on legs) and waist wouldn't zip and button. They are skinny/slim fit. He is 5ft6.[/quote]
That's the crossover point into the sizes I suggested. Levis in particular are very unforgiving; buying an adult pair in a 30 leg would give him space for his forthcoming growth spurt as well.

Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 15:48

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I wasn't aware that the sizing was unforgiving. So thank you for pointing that out :)

I will have to look into an adult pair for him. Not sure what size though.

Hoping he will show me what style/brand clothes he wants.

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Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 16:36

Has anyone else had their child/teen complain of weight gain when growing up? I've been reading and apparently puberty can cause gain. As can a teen due a growth spurt.

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NeverDropYourMoonCup · 17/02/2021 16:39

This might help?

www.levi.com/US/en_US/info/sizeguide

nancywhitehead · 17/02/2021 16:48

It could be to do with him putting on weight over lockdown or it could be growth that would have happened anyway. Have you explained to him that people of his age often have growth spurts? I think it's really important for him to know that so he doesn't feel bad about it all being his "fault" for not exercising enough. Truth is it's probably a combination of the two things. He might have grown out of the jeans anyway.

You could see if he wants to check his height and weight on a BMI chart or similar (not sure if there's an age-appropriate one you could access) so he can actually see where he falls on it and if he's actually overweight.

Overall though I think it's important just to be supportive of his idea to exercise and eat healthily, and steer him away from "dieting" and any ideas about being skinny. Make sure he eats if he is hungry between meals - have healthy snacks in instead of chocolate/ crisps. Keep reinforcing that it's important to be healthy and it doesn't matter what size people are as long as they feel good and look after themselves. It's such a sensitive age and the best thing is positive reinforcement about health, rather than focussing on body image.

greeneyedlulu · 17/02/2021 16:54

I would encourage his healthy choice

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 17/02/2021 17:13

My teens have started to spend all day in PJs and refuse to go out too.
It's hard to force them. A daily walk around a suburban housing estate just isn't very appealing to me or to them especially after homeschool when it's dark and cold.

My solution is indoor workouts and a long walk somewhere more inspiring at the weekend (but we have to drive for that so it's basically get judged either way really)

We have got a door pull up bar, some yoga mats, exercise bands and kettlebells and it's easier to get
them motivated for some HIT or yoga workouts indoors than going out on a day to day basis.

I'd suggest maybe ask your son if he'd like you to buy him some equipment and get into doing some body weight/ HITT workouts. I bet he'd see results quickly and find it really motivating.

Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 18:28

[quote NeverDropYourMoonCup]This might help?

www.levi.com/US/en_US/info/sizeguide[/quote]
Thank you. I will have a look :)

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Original poster
funny34 · 17/02/2021 18:54

@greeneyedlulu

I would encourage his healthy choice
I am. We have been out for a walk both yesterday and today. I am going to have a chat with him about any other exercise he wants to do.

We have had healthy snacks such as fruit/nuts/raisins instead of chocolate/biscuits/sweets/crisps.

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