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Original poster

Son upset about weight gain

135 replies

funny34 · 15/02/2021 13:18

Hi all,

With the lockdown ever present, I have started to get dressed (after weeks of staying in pyjamas/loungewear) even though we are not allowed out. I have also started to encourage my kids and DH to do the same. This has helped to put me in a more positive mood.

However, my son, 14, decides that he doesn't want to get dressed. I explained to him that it may boost his mood as if you stay in pyjamas etc it makes you feel lazier. I asked him why he wouldn't get changed and he said he was happy in his pyjamas. So I decided that rather than argue, it would be easier to just let him stay in the pyjamas.

DH and I went shopping and managed to get the kids to come in the car for a drive, only to the supermarket and back home again, as opposed to them staying in watching tv/playing on games. Once again DS wouldn't get dressed.

So when we came back, I sat down with DS and asked him why he wouldn't get dressed. His tshirts, jumpers etc all fitted but when he put on his jeans, he couldn't button them up. I explained to him that we are all in the same situation and not to worry. He said I'm getting fat and I want to fit back in my clothes. I said to him that he was growing and would need bigger sizes soon anyway. However, he has now decided that he is going to start exercising more and eating healthier.

Should I be worried or should I monitor what he does?

OP posts:
Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 14:58

@TeaAndBrie

Why would he need to show you they don’t fit?! Do you not believe him?
I do believe him. I just don't think he has put on that much weight.
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rainbowunicorn · 15/02/2021 15:04

It is very easy not to notice changes in a person that you are seeing day in day out. If your son is finding that his clotehs don't fit and that he has put on weight then he is doing the right thing by getting on top of it before it becomes too big a problem.

You seem very against the idea of him wanting to eat healthily and exercise more, even going as far as to say that it's nothing tp worry about.

Are the rest of the family a healthy weight?

FuckyouCovid21 · 15/02/2021 15:04

Does he LOOK overweight? Surely you can tell by looking at him?

CoRhona · 15/02/2021 15:09

Op, this is all a bit weird.

Are you in denial about his weight gain?

TeaAndBrie · 15/02/2021 15:20

Ultimately it’s not really up to you, he’s told you he feels uncomfortable in his current clothes. He’s 14. Respect his feelings.

Why are you so against him wanting to be healthy? Are you scared you may have to get out of your pjs and put some effort in?!

Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:24

@TeaAndBrie

Ultimately it’s not really up to you, he’s told you he feels uncomfortable in his current clothes. He’s 14. Respect his feelings.

Why are you so against him wanting to be healthy? Are you scared you may have to get out of your pjs and put some effort in?!

Absolutely, I want him to be healthy.
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TeaAndBrie · 15/02/2021 15:28

That’s great :)
Now is your chance to lead by example. You can still have walks when it’s cold out you just need to be prepared.
Do some cooking with him, chat about different foods. Don’t do everything healthy, just focus on everything in moderation :)

Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:32

@TeaAndBrie

That’s great :) Now is your chance to lead by example. You can still have walks when it’s cold out you just need to be prepared. Do some cooking with him, chat about different foods. Don’t do everything healthy, just focus on everything in moderation :)
I am planning on getting him involved with me when I'm cooking the meals. Showing him labels etc and re inforcing that its about healthy eating (not dieting, but I'm not going to mention diets)
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Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:33

@CoRhona

Op, this is all a bit weird.

Are you in denial about his weight gain?

I don't think he has gained weight. But he says he has and was upset about it. Obviously I see him daily so I haven't noticed as such.
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Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:34

@lastqueenofscotland

Has he put on weight? If he has and he wants to fit into clothes he would be a healthy weight wearing still I don’t see the issue.
He just wants to fit back in his jeans
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Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:36

@Ohdoleavemealone

You will know if he is overweight by looking at him OP. I think it is good that he has recognised this weight gain and wants to make changes. Encourage him with light praise but don't talk about it too much or gush over any weight loss as this can encourage ED.
I think once his jeans fit again he will feel happier. I have offered to buy new clothes but he said no
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Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:37

@Merryoldgoat

There is nothing wrong with younger people being aware of healthy lifestyle choices.

If he has put in weight and his clothes don’t fit them encouraging better eating and exercise will set him up for the future.

I wish I’d been encouraged rather than picked on and called fat or fed up and ignored.

Yes I am cooking healthier meals, less sugary snacks etc. I want him to be healthy for his future.
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PegasusReturns · 15/02/2021 15:39

OP you must know if he is overweight. You can tell easily enough by looking at them: a healthy 14 year old boy won’t have a scrap of fat on them.

Are you saying you and your DC haven’t left the house since December when it got darker?! I think you really need to encourage the whole family to get up and out of the house at least once a day. It not good for physical or mental health to have no definition to your days.

PaperMonster · 15/02/2021 15:39

I really fail to understand why you’ve not been outside with your children? That’s just bizarre and really unhealthy.

LouHotel · 15/02/2021 15:40

I'm sorry if this come across as mean but are you an overweight family?

I was 4 stone overweight as a teenager but it was never a problem for my parents as they were big and would say the same as usual that it was about eating healthy not diet when actually diet is the correct term of you need a calorie deficit.

He needs to get out and exercise, doe he have trackies he can go running in. If he's self conscious to the point of not wanting to get out of his PC's he could go running at 5.30pm just after it gets dark.

Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:40

@PaperMonster

I really fail to understand why you’ve not been outside with your children? That’s just bizarre and really unhealthy.
They have been out on their bikes with DH occasionaly.
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AnneLovesGilbert · 15/02/2021 15:40

We are allowed out. We’ve been allowed out to exercise since the first lockdown. Fresh air and exercise can contribute hugely to keeping a positive mind and body. The weather has been shite here all year but we’ve missed walking two days since 4/1, once when it was torrential all day and once when it didn’t stop snowing. We all get up and dressed every day, get outside as much as we can. I know it’s harder with teens but you need to set an example and taking care of your health is a big part of that.

He’s realised he’s gained weight - not inevitable in lockdown but more so if you don’t leave the house... - so get him some clothes that fit, get everyone outside and exercising regularly and embrace his enthusiasm to improve himself.

MiniCooperLover · 15/02/2021 15:41

It really seems that you'd prefer to buy him new (bigger?) clothes than help him feel comfortable in the ones he has already? What's the rest of your weight like as a family?

Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:43

@LouHotel

I'm sorry if this come across as mean but are you an overweight family?

I was 4 stone overweight as a teenager but it was never a problem for my parents as they were big and would say the same as usual that it was about eating healthy not diet when actually diet is the correct term of you need a calorie deficit.

He needs to get out and exercise, doe he have trackies he can go running in. If he's self conscious to the point of not wanting to get out of his PC's he could go running at 5.30pm just after it gets dark.

I am a size 10. Never really had a weight issue. DH wears a large and 34 jeans but is 5'11. His family are quite tall and broad people. My side are smaller and some family members are overweight.
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Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 15:44

@MiniCooperLover

It really seems that you'd prefer to buy him new (bigger?) clothes than help him feel comfortable in the ones he has already? What's the rest of your weight like as a family?
Well I wanted to ensure he had clothes to wear that fit.
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Thebizz · 15/02/2021 15:46

Might he have just grown rather than put on weight? 14 year old boys probably still have years more growing to do and that’s completely normal. My dc same age is always growing out of clothes and shoes.

mumonthehill · 15/02/2021 15:56

Both my ds have mostly grown out just before they have grown taller. The question is what size are his current jeans? If they are aged 12-13 then he has obviously grown out of them, however if he is not fitting into say aged 14-16 then he may need to get out more and eat less. We all want our teenagers to be out more but it is hard to motivate them, hopefully he has seen that he wants to make a change so encourage it in a positive way.

Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 16:21

@mumonthehill

Both my ds have mostly grown out just before they have grown taller. The question is what size are his current jeans? If they are aged 12-13 then he has obviously grown out of them, however if he is not fitting into say aged 14-16 then he may need to get out more and eat less. We all want our teenagers to be out more but it is hard to motivate them, hopefully he has seen that he wants to make a change so encourage it in a positive way.
His jeans are age 16. I bought them around September. He asked for Levi ones as his friends were wearing them.
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TwilightSkies · 15/02/2021 16:22

Just ask him what he wants to do to feel better and support him.
The weather is getting milder so it’s easier to spend more time outdoors.

Original poster
funny34 · 15/02/2021 16:24

@TwilightSkies

Just ask him what he wants to do to feel better and support him. The weather is getting milder so it’s easier to spend more time outdoors.
He told me he's getting fat and wants to lose weight. He just wants his jeans and clothes to fit again.

I will be going out on walks and spending more time outdoors with it getting warmer.

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