To be cringing at all the look how in love we are valintines posts on social media

[Hahaha88]

Maybe I'm just old and cold hearted but it honestly makes me cringe seeing my social media flooded with posts about how much they love their other half and pics of their cards and gifts for valentines day. Surely no one actually cares or wants to see?! Am I alone in this?
Fwiw I am happily in love with my partner, but I manage to tell him to his face not plant it all over the Internet 🤦🏻‍♀️

We know that some people do post more lovey dovey stuff to cover up a bad relationship.

We don't know that empirically. Has anyone done proper research on the correlation between gushing valentines posts and failed marriages? No they haven't. We can surmise that anyone who plasters their FB with posts about how much they love their spouse may be protesting too much etc but we don't know for sure. You can't really form an authoritative judgement about the quality of someone's relationship based on what they choose to put on Facebook.

I personally find Valentines a bit cringe but I couldn't really care less whether people post about their relationships or not on FB. And I don't understand why there should be some arbitrary rule that says posting a picture of your kid on Christmas Day is OK and posting a picture of your spouse with a heart over him on valentines is narcissistic or delusional.

And a lot of people are coming up with fake justifications as to why they object to people doing this (it shows the relationship is bad or whatever). These are passed off as "concern" or whatever but fundamentally they are just about judgement. See also older women posting selfies etc. It's just another way to point and sneer at people.

I should point out I didn’t actually say anything about my husband in our post, I just said ‘any excuse for cake!’ And posted a few pics of our afternoon tea 🤣 so i’m not sure if i’m the kind of person you’re referring to here!😁

@OhCaptain
I used to find it quite a hard day is all I’m saying and mindful of shoving it everyone’s face - when there’s really no need to. It’s supposed to be about the love between a couple, not showboating. And it’s not like a wedding etc so that’s not comparable

You know what day it is , so just don't go on today if it bothers you.
I didn't put anything on today as nit something we make a big deal iff but doesn't bother me that others do.
Most if facebook is full if crap anyway , but i quite like being nosey and its funny when you see fake posts really , as it shows you who true people are.

I told my dh it was Valentines Day today and he said "oh" and looked back at his phone and sniffed and then said "I see the price of carboard has shot up"....romantic bugger!

We don't know that empirically. Has anyone done proper research on the correlation between gushing valentines posts and failed marriages? No they haven't. We can surmise that anyone who plasters their FB with posts about how much they love their spouse may be protesting too much etc but we don't know for sure

I said we know some people post more lovey dovey stuff to cover up a bad relationship because we know that some do. I didn't say anything about failed marriages though did I?

"An in-depth survey of more than 2,000 UK adults, carried out by relationship support charity Relate, revealed that more than half, 51 per cent, of millennials and nearly two thirds, 39 per cent, of the general public say they make their relationship look better to others than it really is."

"What’s more, 42 per cent of millennials and 27 per cent of respondents admit to using social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram to give the impression that their relationship is perfect."

We've actually had a lovely Valentines, but I've not mentioned it on social media. I know too many people who are unhappily single, so it seems a bit insensitive.

I like them, they make me laugh, need a bit of entertainment these days

I mean it’s 7.15pm and I’m still waiting for a
Happy Valentine’s Day babe 🤣 so far nothing haha
I’ve cooked dinner, cleaned the whole house. Sorted baby out. Got dressed nicely and put make up on for the first time since having the baby haha he hasn’t even noticed 🤣

I completely disagree & as someone who works with teens & online safety it's clear SM can be incredibly negative.

SM would be a lot less toxic if people posting selfies weren't constantly criticised for being vain etc. A healthy dose of self-love wouldn't hurt most people. If people are posting valentines stuff and most of the replies are lovely and positive and supportive instead of this kind of thread dismissing it as fakery etc, then SM wouldn't be so toxic for people.

SM has a lot of issues, but all this bollocks about "don't post your valentine's stuff because it makes single people sad" is up there with the "don't post mother's day stuff because it makes people who can't have children sad". Well, sure. But these days are advertised well in advance, if you don't want to see it, don't look, but don't try to piss over everyone else's parade.

One of the things, of course, with SM is that so many people obviously have added so many "friends" who aren't actually friends, and if they'd shed those the world may be a nicer place.

@namechangefail2020

Yeah I always find it weird. I do always mark Valentine's, but privately. Same people who do a gushing birthday post even tho they're sat right next to them so could just turn and say it to them. Attention seeking but I don't get annoyed, just a bit

Same here except we don't bother with Valentine's. I have 2 really lovely couples as friends on fb and irl. I do believe both couples are extremely happy together but I don't understand the need to put it out there.

SM would be a lot less toxic if people posting selfies weren't constantly criticised for being vain etc. A healthy dose of self-love wouldn't hurt most people.

I said self love is a good thing however the jury is out whether selfies are the best way of achieving that.

I like seeing people happy, and I like seeing nice things on Facebook. Sure, there will be some people who portray loving relationships which isn't the truth but that's not always the case, and it's like you're trying to convince yourself of that because your jealous. People are MN are beyond miserable!

I’m sure valentines is supposed to be for new couples, or secret admirer not-even-a-couple-yet situations. It was never traditionally for married or established couples.

I’ve had a nice day playing football in the park with the kids and having roast beef for dinner so not complaining about anything!

You sound a bit bitter tbf

I like it - a bit of happiness with all the other crap going on at the minute.

Contrary to what some think I do think it's a sign of a happy relationship. The only ones who scoff are jealous imo as their partners would never.

This is something I never understood. If you love someone, why isn't telling it to their face enough. Why do you have to shout it out to your 800 + facebook "friends"?

My suspicion is that there's a lot of insecurity behind it.

We have to remember that social media is essentially "self-marketing" and that it's not real life. People pick the best pictures, the highlights of their life to post on social media. It's a very distorted view of a person.
Selfies are usually taken ten times, the best one is picked then and a couple of filters are slapped across it.

Yes Social is all about the highlights. If people count today as a highlight/have done something nice or whatever why shouldn’t they share it to people who they would assume might be interested in their life. People asking why? Well why not? I mean really, is there a reason? Apart from to please those sneering at them?

The only Valentine's Day post of any kind that I've seen on my FB feed today was just a photo of a lovely-looking dinner, headed 'Family Valentine's Day meal at home'.

@MiaMarshmallows We are really happy and want to share this. No crime in that surely?

Not a crime but I guess some people think of others and their feelings and how not everyone is in as good a place as them and might not need to reminded of that on an already hyped up day.... you could enjoy your day with your DH but you’re one of those couples who feels it’s not celebrated properly unless you’re validated by putting it ok social media and getting likes and attention.

I am very happily married with a wonderful DH and we celebrate Valentine’s Day and I’m happy and grateful for what I have but I didn’t post anything online as I have a few friends who I know are single and would love to be in relationships. They don’t need to see it and I can still have a wonderful romantic day.

It’s also how I am having issues TTC which my friends online know about and still had to suffer through posts of ‘valentines is all about true love and our love is so true look at our wonderful children/bump showing we are so in love’

Sometimes on days like this people need to be mindful of the impact their posts can have on others and maybe enjoy being happy without social media being needed to validate them.

Social media has made people so selfish and thoughtless. It’s all about them and their friends they apparently care about have to just get on with it.

@Willyoujustbequiet

You sound a bit bitter tbf

I like it - a bit of happiness with all the other crap going on at the minute.

Contrary to what some think I do think it's a sign of a happy relationship. The only ones who scoff are jealous imo as their partners would never.

Jealous AND bitter on one post. How intelligent

So I am basically not allowed to post photos of me and DP ever? Not on our nights out, our birthdays, Christmas, holidays or Valentines? Just in case it upsets a single friend. OK.

Contrary to what some think I do think it's a sign of a happy relationship. The only ones who scoff are jealous imo as their partners would never

If DH did I would cringe out of my skin, we did this crazy thing of celebrating it together, and he treats me well all of the time, including in front of family and friends so I don't feel I have anything to prove to them either.

Each to their own, it's easy enough to scroll past, but I very much doubt for most people who aren't fussed on them it's jealousy.

I got a beautiful gift and flowers this morning and in my early 30's and use sm and even I didn't post because I don't need to prove anyone anything about my relationship nor how well I am doing. The people that have posted on their sm today with their cringey posta (my friends) will also post pictures of their cars, the house they bought and every Thursday they will do a throwback from their wedding day. Just share the whole damn album and get it over and done with ffs 🤦‍♀️

Why can't you celebrate without posting photos/updates of yourselves on FB?

It's no different to people putting photos of a child's birthday or Christmas on their social media. They could celebrate without doing so, but they prefer to share things with others via social media. Different stokes for different folks.