AIBU to expect grandparents to visit

[BigMomma164]

In support bubble with in laws. DS unwell with fever, turns out he had tonsillitis. COVID swab negative. Ended up having an ambulance out in the middle of night as breathing very fast and struggling. Grandparents who live a mile down the road ask me if they can video call?!! AIBU to expect them to visit their only DGS within 100 mile radius.
Ps grandparents are both under 60

DS is 8 months old

Do you mean you want them to visit now (this evening) rather than video call?

Surely a video call would be quicker and then you can get him tucked up in bed without further drama

Couldn’t it be that they don’t want to put their very ill grandson at risk from them giving him covid?

YABU

He's got an infection that can be contagious (tonsillitis in itself isn't but the infections that cause it can be) and he's been in hospital - so he's at risk of having been exposed to covid. Even with a negative swab test, he or you (if you went with him) could have been exposed in hospital.

Your inlaws if they are under 60 are likely unvaccinated.

YABU. If they are in a true bubble (eg within the rules - which means one of you is single person household with a very young child) with you they can visit when he's better.

Perhaps they’re trying to put the baby first? He’s not gonna want to see people when he’s very ill and has been up all night.

I’m surprised you want the hassle of guests tbh.

I bet there’s back story here.

YABU. What's wrong with playing it cautious? And, are you single? If not, this isn't a support bubble

@notanothertakeaway

YABU. What's wrong with playing it cautious? And, are you single? If not, this isn't a support bubble

Look up the rules. Support bubbles are allowed for families with a child under 12 months.

It’s a worrying time when your baby is ill and I hope he feels better soon OP. But with regard to your question, what would a visit achieve? If you need support while he is ill then you can ask them to visit for that, sure, but a visit wouldn’t likely benefit him imo- a baby that young needs mum and sleep when they are ill, not to be fussed over by lots of different people. Perhaps they’re also trying to give you space - many people on here would be starting a thread in AIBU if their inlaws wanted to visit when their baby was unwell.

I'm guessing they probably think you don't want them round if baby is poorly. Or perhaps they are nervous because you have been in a hospital environment and more likely to have been open to covid. Or they don't want to risk getting tonsillitis?

So he's been ill for 3 days. They've invited us round to their house (obviously I didn't go as DS too ill). I accept the covid risk etc but they are happy for us to go round but won't make the journey the other way?

YABU!

If I had an ill child I wouldn’t want anyone’s in our house.
(a) to protect my child
(b) to protect the visitors.

We are also in the middle of a pandemic and no one shouldn’t be in our houses, bar the people who live there.

@notanothertakeaway
"your household includes a child who is under the age of one or was under that age on 2 December 2020"
It's a legitimate bubble

We are also in the middle of a pandemic and no one shouldn’t be in our houses, bar the people who live there.

Look at the rules. They are in a permitted support bubble.

@2pinkginsplease it's a legitimate support bubble. We don't have contact with others. We are within the law

He’s poorly stay at home with him. Ask them over when he’s better and you’re sure you haven’t picked up COVID in the hospital.

What is wrong with a facetime visit?

I just thought it would be nice if they came to check he is ok, which is what they do with their other grandchildren when they are I'll (pre and during covid when rules were more relaxed).
And on top of that I find it cheeky to ask me round with an ill baby
Maybe IABU and the lack of sleep is getting to me haha

I wouldn't want visitors if myself or my children were ill. My parents would ask if we needed anything and that's it. You are expecting to much.

Why do you want them to visit? Do you desperately need help with childcare?

Unless you actually need genuine support (if your partner is away for example), I am not sure what you are hoping they can provide by visiting. The best thing for your son will be peace, quiet and lots of comfort from his parents.

Just because the bubble rules mean they are allowed to visit doesn't mean its a sensible idea

I suppose just having an extra pair of hands or someone to watch him while I wee would have been nice
I appreciate they might be overcautious but highly unlikely given one of them works in a very busy establishment and in close contact with other households at work.

Why do you need visitors now? Your child is ill with tonsillitis and needs sleep and rest. I think the grandparents are being very sensible!

Well that was a spectacular drip feed about them inviting you to theirs.... In that case I retract my sarcasm and say YANBU because you shouldn't be dragging an ill baby out. If they want to see him they can visit you.