AIBU to expect grandparents to visit

[BigMomma164]

In support bubble with in laws. DS unwell with fever, turns out he had tonsillitis. COVID swab negative. Ended up having an ambulance out in the middle of night as breathing very fast and struggling. Grandparents who live a mile down the road ask me if they can video call?!! AIBU to expect them to visit their only DGS within 100 mile radius.
Ps grandparents are both under 60

In this instance unless your desperate for support I think it's extremely wise to keep everyone separate.
They may bring something to him, he to them, they to you...

Keep separate, he's fine all will be well.
It's scary, I hope he gets better soon

I suppose just having an extra pair of hands or someone to watch him while I wee would have been nice

That’s a big different to wanting them to check on him.

Have you told them you need childcare help?
I appreciate they might be overcautious but highly unlikely given one of them works in a very busy establishment and in close contact with other households at work.

Maybe they don’t want to pass anything to him while he’s unwell?

[quote BigMomma164]@notanothertakeaway
"your household includes a child who is under the age of one or was under that age on 2 December 2020"
It's a legitimate bubble[/quote]
Ah fair enough, sorry

Not allowed where I live, but rules may be different

I don't mean visit now haha
I mean in the daytime

@combatbarbie
Sorry
Im quite new to MN so didn't realise I was drip feeding
Didn't want to overburden readers with a long OP

@PurpleDaisies
Maybe they don’t want to pass anything to him while he’s unwell?
That's a fair point but wouldn't explain why they are happy for me to go round

I don't want to ask them for help as I don't want them to think I can't cope. I can cope. Just about. Though a break would be nice.

What’s the point of being in a support bubble if you can’t ask for support?

I’m confused about what’s driving this. It seems like you’re looking for reasons to be pissed off at them. Is there back story?

[quote BigMomma164]@PurpleDaisies
Maybe they don’t want to pass anything to him while he’s unwell?
That's a fair point but wouldn't explain why they are happy for me to go round

I don't want to ask them for help as I don't want them to think I can't cope. I can cope. Just about. Though a break would be nice.[/quote]
Where’s your partner? Does he work out of the home? If so, and you need help in the day because you’ve been up all night- then ask the in laws directly and specifically for the help you want (an hour where they watch the baby etc)- they’re not mind readers.

If your husband is working for home then he can give you breaks at lunchtime and in the evenings. I would be cautious about letting in laws who work in direct contact with the general public near my sick baby to be honest.

I can imagine you’re exhausted so are overthinking this.

@PurpleDaisies
I think I'm just re-evaluating life and relationships.
I feel sorry for DS as in my culture visiting while recovering is a show of love.

@PurpleDaisies and @BigMomma164

Bubble rules must be different depending on what country you are in.

Im In a support bubble with my mum as she had a stroke during the summer, it doesn’t mean I have to go in her house every time visit or I drop shopping off. I go in if she needs me to do something but other than that we still keep our distance. Support bubbles aren’t for socialising, they are there to support and care for vulnerable people.

Well in Scotland that’s what they are for.

@2pinkginsplease
Support bubbles in England count as 1 household so can mix as normal

Thanks everyone for your input
I think I am overthinking things
I think I give too much and I'm exhausted. I need to be selfish for a while.

Look up the rules. Support bubbles are allowed for families with a child under 12 months
I just did this and I learnt something that I didn't know.

I am glad that families with young babies are able to get this support.

@2pinkginsplease
You could have at least established that the op was in the same country as you before saying her support bubble wasn’t valid. In England, the op is doing nothing wrong.

It must have been very frightening seeing your child in respiratory distress. The feeling of helplessness as the emergency services descends into your home must make you want all your loved ones around to support you.
Your child's grandparents sound a bit thick/self absorbed tbh. Having them under your feet whilst you're handling your child's health would probably be a hinderence.
Grab a hot sugary drink and remind yourself how amazing you are for handling such a horrible experience without added family round.
Write down all the advice the hospital staff gave you on "Watch for" and breastfeed that baby as much as you both want.
It's worth noting that your breasts change in temperature up/down 2' to help monitor your baby's temperature. See how amazing you are? Stuff the grandparents, let them call you when they've unbusied themselves.

for those that can't be bothered to read Ops posts. It's a formal support bubble. They have invited OP to theirs with the ill baby but won't come to her

Why would you want them to visit your ill, young baby when you've admitted that they come into contact with others a lot through work?
Just because them visiting is permitted, it doesn't mean that it would be a sensible decision. The last thing the poor lad needs now is a dose of Covid
8 month old DS won't know that they've not visited to see how he's recovering. At his age, he needs rest and cuddles with his parents. Im sure the in laws trust you enough to receive a verbal report on his recovery. A FaceTime session sounds perfect to let them see him.

@PurpleDaisies I didn’t say it wasn’t valid.

I just said no one should be in our households to socialise, to support and care but not socialise. From her post it was a social visit to see their I’ll grandchild.

As a granny I would have popped around but more to support you, I would have bought a little treat for him, washed up your dishes, hoovered, plumped up your cushions and told you to go and lie down. I like to be useful when I visit and appreciate how exhausting and traumatic hospital emergencies and sick children are.

I think they're being sensible as DS is ill and they work so could easily pass something on.

I think childcare bubble is intended for single parents or so you can work? I don't think the adults are supposed to mix.

I imagine best thing for DS is to have fewer people fussing over him.

I just said no one should be in our households to socialise, to support and care but not socialise. From her post it was a social visit to see their I’ll grandchild.

Which is allowed under English support bubble rules. You were suggesting it wasn’t a valid reason to meet under the bubble rules. It is.

Nothing makes sense. There's zero reason for them to visit. You must have a strained relationship for this to even cross your mind.

I think childcare bubble is intended for single parents or so you can work? I don't think the adults are supposed to mix.

This isn’t a childcare bubble. It is an English support bubble.

Why dong people bother to read the guidelines before accusing posters of doing something wrong?

@converseandjeans
Wow the lack of awareness of the rules is shocking
"Once you’re in a support bubble, you can think of yourself as being in one ‘household’. It means you can have close contact with the other household in your bubble as if they were members of your own household." (England)

bigmomma are you a single parent? I didn't think adults were allowed to mix with other households? I do know support bubbles exist & are encouraged for single people/parents but honestly didn't think it was allowed unless you're single.

Regardless of the rules - one of the in laws works somewhere busy. So I don't think it's a good idea for them to drop by at any time let alone when DS is unwell.