AIBU to expect grandparents to visit

[BigMomma164]

In support bubble with in laws. DS unwell with fever, turns out he had tonsillitis. COVID swab negative. Ended up having an ambulance out in the middle of night as breathing very fast and struggling. Grandparents who live a mile down the road ask me if they can video call?!! AIBU to expect them to visit their only DGS within 100 mile radius.
Ps grandparents are both under 60

If you need support to there extent you need your in laws to come over, then perhaps you should be looking at why your partner isn't being that support. A poorly baby doesn't need 3-4 adults for support.

I agree in principle, but the whole point of a support bubble is to support the parents of the baby under 1, not to allow grandparents to visit their grandchildren. No support = no bubble.

Thanks for all the responses.
I think many PPs are misunderstanding my position. I'm from a different culture and in my culture visiting the sick is the thing to do (obviously non-covid illnesses).
Not visiting is essentially giving off the notion that you don't care.
In my culture, making guests a cuppa is NOT considered strenuous work. Infact when visiting the sick, most guests will help themselves or bring round food.
My annoyance comes from previously being expected to visit other unwell family / children (when they lived nearby) and I find is sad the DS is not getting the same affection.
When a child is ill, having someone else take over for some time and not having to worry about child for 30 mins is such a relief. DH is very helpful but has to be away alot for work so it's hard.
I s'pose I'm just questioning why I'm sticking around if I'm not feeling supported. My parents would have been round in a flash to share the burden

@B1rthis Thank you for your kind words
@justasking111 You sound like a lovely grandparent. This is the sort of support that's usual in my culture.

We are in a position where we need a bigger place and so I am overthinking things.
I only stuck around in this town to be near PILs but if they're next to useless in times of need then I might as well bigger off and be near my parents who are more hands on

There is no one else in this town or infact within 100 miles of us to form a support bubble with

I think the issue might be that what you are expecting is normal in your culture (hence you expecting it) but not normal for many of us, hence we wouldn't expect it.

Are your PIL of the same culture as you?

Honestly though, in Covid times I think they are better to stay away if they can. Swab tests are far from 100% for a start, and secondly, as tonsillitis can be contagious, and cause fever etc, if they get it, they'd need to self isolate, have time off work, get a test (and you'd need to self isolate until it came back negative as well) as part of the same bubble.

Hope your little one is feeling better soon.

@BigMomma164

I suppose just having an extra pair of hands or someone to watch him while I wee would have been nice I appreciate they might be overcautious but highly unlikely given one of them works in a very busy establishment and in close contact with other households at work.

Where is dad right now? Can't he watch baby while you wee?

Don't overthink it. Be glad they don't want to come infect your poorly baby.

@Babyboomtastic
Yes they are from the same culture. They are the ones that put more importance on visiting unwell relatives than I do. They will travel 100s of miles to visit very distant relatives if they are seriously unwell and almost always visit nearby family if they are unwell.
@MyOtherProfile the wee situation was just an example. DH is back tonight so have more help. He often has to leave town for work, often for multiple nights

.

They’re not meant to be visiting at all right now. He’s 8 months old and unwell- he won’t be aware they’ve visited or not.

They’re being sensible here.

@ItsJackieWeaverBitch they're in a support bubble available to parents with babies under 12 months old. So they can visit.

Whether they should is up to them.

But to be honest I don't think we can help unless from the same culture as you, OP. Your expectations of grandparents are different from most of ours. The last thing most of us would want is grandparents coming round and fussing in this situation, unless we invited them.

I think many PPs are misunderstanding my position. I'm from a different culture and in my culture visiting the sick is the thing to do (obviously non-covid illnesses).Not visiting is essentially giving off the notion that you don't care.

Well of course people are going to ‘misunderstand’ if you don’t include any of that information in your posts

@Howshouldibehave
Apologies I'm a novice poster

@Howshouldibehave rather ironic that you failed to read the Ops posts....

Cultural or not the fact remains that the in-laws have invited Op to THEIR home, asking the OP to drag a poorly child around.... The Ops point is that THEY should come to HER!! It's really not hard to understand.

@BigMomma164 I would give up honestly. MN is renownes for people reading what they want to read and pick holes in anything and everything apart from the actual subject matter. I totally get what you are saying after your 2nd post in this thread.

Hope the baby is feeling better today.

*renowned

[quote 2pinkginsplease]**@PurpleDaisies* and @BigMomma164*

Bubble rules must be different depending on what country you are in.

Im In a support bubble with my mum as she had a stroke during the summer, it doesn’t mean I have to go in her house every time visit or I drop shopping off. I go in if she needs me to do something but other than that we still keep our distance. Support bubbles aren’t for socialising, they are there to support and care for vulnerable people.

Well in Scotland that’s what they are for.[/quote]
I thought in Scotland they were extended households so you could mix as if it was your own house the same as England support bubbles?

Thanks everyone for your input
I realise IABU. I'll blame the stress and sleeplessness. Baby is doing better although got the runs from antibiotics.
I'll try to be nicer in future :)
Best wishes