Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking my sister is married to a boring old fart

44 replies

PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:00

And she is one too

She is 26. He is 30. They've been married for a year. She has a 10 year old dd from before she met her dh.

They have just moved house as the house she lived in before she met her dh wasn't big enough for all of them.

The problem is, she must think no other person in the world has a mortgage or bills to pay. Every time I am talking to her, her dh is working as "we have a mortgage to pay you know!!" This goes for every single night of the week!!!! Even Friday nights & Sunday mornings.... He is a workshop joiner & earns quite a bit of money without having to do overtime. [My dh is in the same business]

She also works in the education system & brings home a good wage. Each time we are talking to them they bring up money. basically they are scrooge & mrs scrooge.

Anyway we are having a party this weekend & it's a fancy dress one. It was just supposed to be for my kids & my other sisters' kids as they live near here, but somehow it has grown out of all proportion & everyone is invited Anyway, the fancy dress is compulsary.. my dh isn't thrilled but is going ahead with it like everyone else.

Sisters dh has said No, he will not dress up & if he has to, then he will go to work I asked sis to ask him not to work, to come, as she will be the only family member there without a partner.. she said he won't dress up. He is a boring fart.

There are loads of examples to give but I can't think of them offhand. She doesn't like people drinking (we all drink) She doesn't like children as her dd is 10 & grown up now (we all have kids under 10) My other sister went to stay with her last weekend & she locked her boys outside so they wouldn't mess her house So my other sister went home.

I know she will never change, I have no right to make her change. But they are so boring. She looks down her nose at us for everything we do.

Makes out that they never have enough money on one hand, then boasts about spending £1000 on Xmas gifts for her dd on the other hand.....

I don't know what I am asking anymore

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 01/11/2007 20:16

quite the little charmer aren't you

SqueeelyMeeely2 · 01/11/2007 20:20

pita - maybe she happy that way!

SqueeelyMeeely2 · 01/11/2007 20:21

pinta sorry!

Lulumama · 01/11/2007 20:22

wow ! am glad you are not my sister

maybe you all have totally different priorities, which does not make them boring old farts, maybe they want to work their socks off and retire at 40, when they will go wild and crazy

judgey judgey judgey

YABU

Original poster
PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:22

Charmer???? huh? What did I do???

Yes, maybe she is happy that way. Maybe moaning about stuff makes her happy Ok then.

OP posts:
Original poster
PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:24

Yeah, well, I guess you can only explain so much to an online community.

Sorry.

I won't say anything anymore.

I'm actually glad I changed to this Halloween name again before I posted. As if you knew my usual name you would know I would do anything for this particular sister.

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 01/11/2007 20:25

it is not v nice to bemoan/judge/criticise someone else life choices for no good reason - no class,lacks charm

FatBellyJones · 01/11/2007 20:26

I know what you mean pinta.. I have a step-sister like that. She and her DH have a bank balance of several hundred k and own properties abroad and yet they are always pleading poverty, she works as a surestart manager during the day and then takes on cleaning jobs in the evening to earn a bit more. If that's how she wants to live let her get on with it, sad tho cos she's 45 and looks 10 years older

Original poster
PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:32

NO Scottishmummy!!

I have never criticised her!!

Jesus, I can't even explain myself now.

We were all organising a day out. It was the end of the month.. pay day for her! We said we were for a day spa, a massage costs about £40. She said she couldn't afford to go. We said we were disappointed & asked her why. She said "I have one 125 thousand reasons not to go" then smirked... letting us know that her new house cost 125thousand.

The the next day she spent £95 on Clarins make up & offered me her old avon stuff as it brings her out in spots.

I have just had my other sister on the phone in tears as she told her if she was coming to visit to bring a change of shoes for indoors for her dd & not to stay long as she wants to clean her oven.

I was just really voicing what I thought.. guess I'll say nothing in future.

OP posts:
lemonaidtreasonandplot · 01/11/2007 20:32

I think you can legitimately criticise someone locking their nephews (who are staying with them) outside so they don't mess up the house, actually.

rantinghousewife · 01/11/2007 20:35

Honestly a couple of you on here are having a laugh aren't you! People judge, it's what people do, get over yourselves.
Rather funny to see you on here, wagging fingers and judging someone for being judgemental![tsk]

Minum · 01/11/2007 20:37

YANBU - they sound a complete pain.

Hope your party goes really well this weekend

ScottishMummy · 01/11/2007 20:37

pinta - have a word with yourself!
never criticised - o didums

Okay here are your edited highlights
basically they are scrooge & mrs scrooge
But they are so boring
she "boasts"

and that is just the bits i could be bothered typing

Original poster
PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:38

Well, you know what?

Don't bother anymore.

There is an ignore button for that purpose.

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 01/11/2007 20:40

o i see, so when you can not sustain an arguement i have to go away when you can not form a coherent narrative...

Original poster
PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:40

It was actually a half light hearted thread...

I started being annoyed at her for licking my nephews out of her house! For making my sister feel like she shouldn't have been there.

Then for calling me & saying "I hear you're having a party! A bit short notice is it not?" (When I wasn't actually going to invite her at all as they live 50 miles away!)

The my older sis rang in tears about the oven & change of shoes... I wondered if actually my younger sister was normal & in fact the other 4 sisters were wrong.

But then it turned into a not so light hearted thread...

OP posts:
lovecat · 01/11/2007 20:42

Given that the whole purpose of AIBU seems to be to allow people to vent their annoyances and frustrations, I find it incredible how many people then reply disapprovingly to posts with 'how judgemental' or 'you shouldn't post stuff about your family/neighbour/man in street on an internet forum' - why exactly do these self-righteous types bother with this topic if it's going to annoy them so much?

Pinta, your sis sounds like a PITA.

HectorsHouse · 01/11/2007 20:42

I'd look down my nose at you too because of the way you sound in your OP and your complete lack of self-awareness

Original poster
PintaBlood · 01/11/2007 20:43

Do you have any sisters SM?

If you do, do they never do anything that leaves you sitting there with your mouth hanging open?

Look, I don't do arguing on internet forums, I don't intend to start now.

I apologise to you. I am just raw tonight after all day yesterday with said sister.

I'm sorry & I do mean it.

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 01/11/2007 20:45

Lovecat, I completely agree with you, I think some people come on and vent, just so they can make themselves feel superior!

Lulumama · 01/11/2007 20:46

obviously , at the risk of sounding even more self rightoues, i really think that is a case of totally differing priorities...and you are not suddenly going ot see eye to eye

if you want to sustain a relationship with her, you have to have it out with her or ignore it

and i do thikn her locking her nephews out was horrible, but that is between her and your other sister

WeeWitchyWilkie · 01/11/2007 20:47

She sounds a PITA - glad she's not my sister

Lulumama · 01/11/2007 20:47

the point of AIBU is for people to offer their opinions, not to just agree with teh OP

and then be called names by other posters, actually

Lulumama · 01/11/2007 20:47

an not to be called names!

rantinghousewife · 01/11/2007 20:49

Nobody is saying that Lulamama, constructive criticism is one thing (and you were), venting on someone is completely different imo.

Swipe left for the next trending thread