To take a 40k pay cut

[lul37]

We have been living in ME for almost 6 years now and wanting to move back to our home in London since last year.

DH has finally been offered a job back, BUT it's on a much lower pay than what he's on now, basically 40k less than what he's currently on. Not to mention the tax to be paid on top of what once we are back.

He also just got promoted in his current role which pays well but requires a lot of travel and is also unstable (lots of redundancy happening due to Covid, etc).

I'm just unsure if it's the right time now to move back, due to Covid situation and also with pay cut, i feel it would be such a downgrade. We would probably manage on the lower pay in London if I could find a part time job if we move back. Don't know if that going to be possible under the current lockdown.

I haven't been able to work while abroad due to DH's constant travel schedule.

On the other hand, we really want to move back to be closer to our family as many friends here have left and we we feel so isolated, I'm also worried about the hassle of moving schools for my two DS (12 yrs and 9yrs) right now.

But I'm also worried we might not get another offer in the next year or this is the best offer under the Covid circumstances.

AIBU to want him to turn it down now, and hope he gets a better offer in a few months?? I feel he is disappointed but torn as well.

Depends where in London I’d say. Difficult to live comfortably in say, I don’t know, Hampstead, on £90,000. In a London Borough such as Merton (so, Wimbledon area), or Wandsworth, much easier. Or Outer London boroughs like Sutton, or East London borders, £90,000 will be a lovely income. Not all of London is expensive, only the most central areas, so I’d be basing my decision on exactly where you’d make your new home.

Above all else, being near family and friends would be the clincher for me, OP. Children grow up so quickly and find their own lives, it’s important that you both have family and friends around you so you can enjoy your lives with each other and others.

@Tumblebugsjump

Jesus, incredible to worry about living on just 90k, just wow!!!!

Not really fair to say that. Everything is relative. If your basic outgoings like mortgage/rent and utilities are high, you’re going to need an income to cover that. Live in an area where housing is cheap, utilities are low etc, then of course you won’t “need” that amount.

DS is year 8 and his friend groups are pretty set. I would want to move back by the end of year 7 to give your son the best chance of quickly adjusting into a new school without the worry of trying to find his way into friendship groups that are already very well established.

It sounds like you don’t really want to move and the DCs are happy and settled, so you would just be moving because your DH thinks he can’t see himself living there long term. I would personally push back the timing (and then again if it comes up later but often life moves swiftly on).

Yes, DH could be made redundant but then he would just look for another job out there. There are also lots of redundancies in the U.K. at the moment.

Why would you only get a part time job if you moved back? If you go full time the difference would be minimal

@DavidsSchitt

Why would you only get a part time job if you moved back? If you go full time the difference would be minimal

DH traveled for work frequently and has been like this for past few years, so while DS were young, it made more sense to save on childcare by staying home as I was on a minimum wage working in retail. However if remote working nowadays is possible in UK, then yes could potentially go back to work full time.

@HTH1

It sounds like you don’t really want to move and the DCs are happy and settled, so you would just be moving because your DH thinks he can’t see himself living there long term. I would personally push back the timing (and then again if it comes up later but often life moves swiftly on).

Yes, DH could be made redundant but then he would just look for another job out there. There are also lots of redundancies in the U.K. at the moment.

Been doing that 'pushing it back' for over two years now. But I think the constant travel has taken its toll on him and now I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable, ie moving back. That's why I'm leaving it up to him this time round.

@lul37 In general, areas in London where schools are decent tend to be expensive/very expensive -- both to rent and to buy. So you'll need to do your research and find a sweet spot. I have not tried secondary education yet (kids too young) but found well-regarded state/church primaries so poor that I pulled my children out to home educate for now. We tried two schools for two and three years respectively. I am saving up cash for private secondary hoping it will be better. I was not educated in the UK and find the quality bewilderingly low. So perhaps it's a biased opinion, but I would think long and hard before pulling them out of private education.

As to mortgages, you can definitely get one in your 40s. We (mid-forties) remortgage regularly with different providers to ensure the best deal. Never had a problem.

Obv, potential redundancy is an issue, but this is the case everywhere.

With the ages of your DC, if moving is definitely on the cards then I'd do it sooner rather than later. Especially as DH has a decent offer on the table.

In terms of schooling if you want decent state secondaries then you are likely to be restricted to the grammar school areas.

Karen 👀

Reported Karen

I reported Karen also

#bekind

@HTH1

It sounds like you don’t really want to move and the DCs are happy and settled, so you would just be moving because your DH thinks he can’t see himself living there long term. I would personally push back the timing (and then again if it comes up later but often life moves swiftly on).

Yes, DH could be made redundant but then he would just look for another job out there. There are also lots of redundancies in the U.K. at the moment.

Doesn’t always work like that in ME though...if made redundant they can kick you out of the country with 30 days notice and forbid you from returning for two years. Hence why it is always best to leave on your terms - or as friends of ours out there put it “when your bucket is either full of money or shit”...