To take a 40k pay cut

[lul37]

We have been living in ME for almost 6 years now and wanting to move back to our home in London since last year.

DH has finally been offered a job back, BUT it's on a much lower pay than what he's on now, basically 40k less than what he's currently on. Not to mention the tax to be paid on top of what once we are back.

He also just got promoted in his current role which pays well but requires a lot of travel and is also unstable (lots of redundancy happening due to Covid, etc).

I'm just unsure if it's the right time now to move back, due to Covid situation and also with pay cut, i feel it would be such a downgrade. We would probably manage on the lower pay in London if I could find a part time job if we move back. Don't know if that going to be possible under the current lockdown.

I haven't been able to work while abroad due to DH's constant travel schedule.

On the other hand, we really want to move back to be closer to our family as many friends here have left and we we feel so isolated, I'm also worried about the hassle of moving schools for my two DS (12 yrs and 9yrs) right now.

But I'm also worried we might not get another offer in the next year or this is the best offer under the Covid circumstances.

AIBU to want him to turn it down now, and hope he gets a better offer in a few months?? I feel he is disappointed but torn as well.

You can live on What you earn,
So save the extra, pay off your Mortgage in the UK,
Save on your Nanny fees by being home with your Children,
If you can do a couple of years in the ME, and wait out Brexit and Covid, your going to have almost earnt a years money, your Mortgage will be lower and you stand a chance of being on a better footing.
Right now is not the time to take a chance.

@PuffItsGone that's exactly what I am thinking we should do, but it's an employer's market as someone here said so not holding much hope. They will probably allow him to work remotely up till May or June. Which is good as gives the kids time to finish school without too much disruption I suppose. Will wait to see what happens with the negotiations. I feel guilty keeping DH stuck in ME if he wants to move back to be closer to his family as I was the one who pushed for the move to ME on the first place. I'm originally from ME and my family live abroad as well so I think he needs to decide this time.

Be careful you don’t get hit for tax on your rental property when you move back. My brother moved back from the Middle East, he continued to rent out his property whilst he rented another and got stung with a tax bill.

I suppose when you go to work in the ME for a tax free high salary, you have to go on the basis that when you come back you will be paid less and have taxes too...and be sure you’ll be able to live on that different income. Your lifestyle expectations have to meet what you will be able to afford and you need to know not to get too comfortable with the lifestyle in ME which will always be temporary.

Timing is a tricky one and as can see Covid complicates things a lot and whatever you had planned in normal times is probably thrown by this. Staying a bit longer if you’re settled might make sense....lots of people are delaying their big decisions until after Covid.

I’d definitely give it another year
It really is bad here
Everything is decimated

@Dowser

I’d definitely give it another year It really is bad here Everything is decimated

Is that a haiku? I love it!

That is the difficulty of the expat lifestyle - you get used to the perks that come with it and it is a challenge to come back. I have a friend in that position.

I don't see why you'd move now. The UK is a dire place to be at the minute.

It depends too how much you value the ME lifestyle and how valuable the benefits of being in the UK are. Lots of people are really only in the ME for the money, but if money weren’t an issue wouldn’t be there.

If ultimately your children will be schooled here,I would look to return at the very best time for them to transition to new schools....even if that wasn’t so good for myself or DH. You don’t want to move school mid-phase of exam courses etc, and if you can move as school changes happen all the better.

A friend of mine was in the ME for several years with her kids. Her DH stayed in the UK working as he was also studying. They also lived in Zone 6 and not near great schools, but did have a family home (DH was living in it). She actually didn’t want to return, mainly because she felt the schooling the kids were getting in the independent schools in the mE was far better than. The mediocre state schools they would come back to... o ability to afford fees when they returned. She didn’t want to come back to lower salary, no maid, no pria the schooling, but her and DH had made a timescale agreement and she needed to return to keep the marriage going.

When they got back she was very miserable. She didn’t like the schools and was very dismissive of them. She didn’t like the mums she met at the school gate because they were very different to the ex-pat community and she didn’t like her small house. The mums at the school gate didn’t like her either because it was clear she didn’t like them and essentially thought herself better than LOndon suburbs, mediocre schools and standard paying job. It was a real shame, and about 7 years on, she is adjusting, but still feels she’s missed out.

£90k as a joint family income, being earned by just 1 person so paying higher rate tax is of course a good individual income, and before anyone comes on to say they earn £22k and do fine, I know it puts the family in the top 10%. But, in London (even some 6) if there’s a mortgage and high expectations of life, it doesn’t go far. It probably won’t fund 2 kids through independent school and if the existing property is a flat, moving to a big family house will be hard. So I can see why OP is a bit reticent.....it could be moving from a fairly luxurious lifestyle to one which feels a significant step down, and depending on her atttitide to the state schools and housing etc might feel a real comedown like it did to my friend. But that’s the reality and that’s the lifestyle they can afford here...people need to remember the ME is the blip and the fairytale experience in terms of school, maids etc and the UK experience is the real one. When peoples get too attached to the temporary life and it’s material benefits, there’s often a problem.

NFW I'd move back here right now. Restrictions are unbelievably tight. Your kids might not get any schooling. Everything is being decimated. It's shit.

Could you base yourself in another city? 80k goes a long way outside of London.

@lul37 we did this three years ago with a bigger pay cut as DS was about to start secondary, I really wouldn’t delay it teenagers need roots and settling into friendship groups when much older than 13. No regrets for either them or DH - quality of life in a daily basis is far better. The only downside was I had to take a huge step backwards in my career, but even that in some many ways has been worth it. Oh and DH is now back on to a comparative salary to his ME one when you factor in holidays and bonus schemes so the trade off was worth it. The thing is, as you no doubt know too well - nothing out there is real or forever - everyone leaves eventually and I was concerned that if there was a recession the decision of ‘when’ might be taken out of our control. Better to leave on your terms than be given thirty days notice to leave the country as happened to many of our friends when hard times hit...

I agree that in their time in the ME, people who actually have pretty standard jobs and lives in the UK might get to live a very different life of maids, private schooling, big houses etc. They feel part of a richer, respected class. And they like it. And coming back to the reality at home that they are normal in normal jobs with normal incomes and their kids will have the lifestyle of the majority and not be part of an elite, can be quite a shock, if they value those kind of things...and living in the ME can make you value those things, because everyone really is there for the money and so it’s hard not to be very materialistic.

Agree with being focused on the kids and getting back in time for them establish real roots and be part of schools and friendship groups and to adjust, which can take some time. And also agree with you picking the time (even if it’s not perfect in all ways) rather than finding it’s pushed on you and might be a far worse time. Be pragmatic and child focused. Remember your life before you went and what you enjoyed. Remember and ensure your children are clear (always tell them the whole time you’re in the ME) that the ME experience is temporary and not real and about the great things at home, which is the real life.

I would say your DC are good ages to move as it is pre-GCSE years for your eldest and before moving to secondary for your youngest. So a slightly easier transition for them both.
Also surely 130k down to 90k will still leave you with plenty of money so that isn’t a big consideration. If you want be in the UK and have a job offer on the table, then I would move.

I say hold on for a better paid role. Get him to be cagey with future interviews and with recruiter by making out that you many options, You haven’t got a deadline to relocate, apply for multiple roles. London IT is thriving, he will likely be wfh mostly, so rent a decent size Property, in a good school catchment, there’s lot of rental property available, you can get a deal on rent amount and if you can offer six months down to get best deal, landlords are nervous and want security. Your DH should negotiate up any job offer, don’t accept first offer. I’ve just negotiated a $20k increase on a package.

Keep your tenants in situ. What did you do for work previously? Get back into work in the uk?

I am guessing you moved to the ME because of the money - he is not going to get the money in the UK compared to the ME. For me it would be based on the children's education - if you are planning on moving I would do it at a time least discruptive to your 12 year old. Who if you are planning on coming back for their GCSE should ideally be settling into their new school in year 8 or year 9 as they needs to make GCSE options choices.

Remember some schools start GCSEs in Yr 9 and make their choices in Yr8.

Where is Me

@Christmasfairy2020

Where is Me

The Middle East

Id move back. However I wouldn't want a flat ? Buy in Yorkshire as your husband will be wfh anyways and you will get a lovely house

You can't even see your family in the UK. I was saying to the in laws the other day that we might as well live in the middle east! Would stay put tbh.

I honestly would stay put for a while. Its too much of a salary drop, outgoings would increase and the kids are in school.

I don't really understand the comments about life in the ME not being 'real', particularly considering the OP is from that region and her family is not in the UK either. Not everyone subscribes to British weather, salaries, housing and lifestyle as the only definition of 'real' .

Depends what the current salary is and what the new offer is

You will pay tax in the rental but only 20% on profit.,