To take a 40k pay cut

[lul37]

We have been living in ME for almost 6 years now and wanting to move back to our home in London since last year.

DH has finally been offered a job back, BUT it's on a much lower pay than what he's on now, basically 40k less than what he's currently on. Not to mention the tax to be paid on top of what once we are back.

He also just got promoted in his current role which pays well but requires a lot of travel and is also unstable (lots of redundancy happening due to Covid, etc).

I'm just unsure if it's the right time now to move back, due to Covid situation and also with pay cut, i feel it would be such a downgrade. We would probably manage on the lower pay in London if I could find a part time job if we move back. Don't know if that going to be possible under the current lockdown.

I haven't been able to work while abroad due to DH's constant travel schedule.

On the other hand, we really want to move back to be closer to our family as many friends here have left and we we feel so isolated, I'm also worried about the hassle of moving schools for my two DS (12 yrs and 9yrs) right now.

But I'm also worried we might not get another offer in the next year or this is the best offer under the Covid circumstances.

AIBU to want him to turn it down now, and hope he gets a better offer in a few months?? I feel he is disappointed but torn as well.

Well there you have it, what would you rather? Move back, be able to prepare for it, or have to do it within 30 days with no preparation at all. That's what would make my mind up.

My friends are in the UAE and are torn about coming back at the moment. All of their friends have left to go back to their respective countries, they're feeling quite lonely and vulnerable. Their main worry is the drop in money, at the moment they earn far more as teachers there than they would here. But it will ever be thus, you just won't get the same money here... and you won't be able to stay there forever.

You're in a position where you'll still earn a significant amount of money - could you move to somewhere outside the city and commute?

If it were me, I'd take the promotion and now I'd paid off my debts use that money for some savings then plan to come back in a year. At the same time being prepared for a quicker move within the 12 months.

[quote lul37]@Tightwad2020 unfortunately being made redundant is always a possibility in the ME, more so now in the current climate. As someone said above you can find yourself forced to leave the country within 30 days at any point. And we have seen this happen to many friends. That is one of the main appeals of moving back, the stability and rights the UK offers. If my DH was made redundant in UK in the future, at least we wouldn't be forced to move schools and countries. [/quote]
not sure if this has been asked before, but why dont you have any savings?

I’d stay put.
Consistency in quality of education personally is very important me. If you can’t guarantee a good school as good as your child’s current one ( may it be state or private) I wouldn’t even contemplate moving.

[quote lul37]@Oblomov21 exactly, DH is saying that they have come back now with a final offer of £95k, he doubts they will offer any more. He is swaying towards accepting the promotion with his current employer and staying put for another year.[/quote]
We're just back in Europe after 10 years in Dubai. I'd have stayed there if we could have, particularly because life (home deliveries of every kind, everyone being vaccinated, for example) was much easier to navigate with the pandemic than it is here (we are retirees and my husband just got fed up with doing his job during Covid). Depending on where you are, will your husband not get an end of term gratuity, @lul37? It's worth having been in the same job for 5 years or more for the pension fund equivalent you get, in Dubai, at least. Hopefully, if your husband is being promoted, his job there is more likely to be stable?
Good luck with your decision.

I used to know a lady who worked in the ME. She set herself target of paying off all her debts plus a certain amount of savings as a safety net. Once she achieved her targets, she came back and got a job here.

Sorry, @lul37, I forgot to mention that I found life far less of a daily struggle in Dubai than I do now in Europe (I'm not even in the UK, where I fear I would struggle even more).

I wouldn’t throw money away on rent. I’d sell the 2-bed and use as deposit on 3 bed + mortgage, further out if need be.

Rents have fallen in London by up to 13% due to Covid and Airbnb.

[quote lul37]@Oblomov21 exactly, DH is saying that they have come back now with a final offer of £95k, he doubts they will offer any more. He is swaying towards accepting the promotion with his current employer and staying put for another year.[/quote]
I think it's up to him, ultimately, but I would want to move back.

£95,000 is not a bad offer at the current time. Once you get over £100K you are in a tricky tax situation where actually you're paying more tax proportionately than the increase is worth.

I would want to move whilst I had the chance, be able to plan and move at a time when it's best for the DC.

If it was me, I'd want to be able to work as well and resume my career, so I'd actually be keen for myself on that basis.

Tax wise, 95 is brilliant as you're under the threshold for losing your tax free allowance.

It's a great time to move your eldest, as this years year 7s will not have as cohesive friendship groups as in previous years, having been at home so much.

Rents in London are falling as people are working from cheaper locations while remote working.

The weather is shite though.

It's a great time to move your eldest, as this years year 7s will not have as cohesive friendship groups as in previous years, having been at home so much.

This is an excellent point.

@Dippingoutofdowndawg

Yes, I lived in the ME for over a decade, but I also lived in the far east and Europe for many years. Expats in all of those places described them as 'not real'. I think it was due the mindset of the expats, measuring everything against home, rather than the characteristics of the host country. Residents in any part of the world face the same challenges, to earn money, socialise, love and do the best for their families wherever they are. Life is always 'real'.

What's education like in ME? If you are able to afford good private schools now and will not be able to do so in London, I'd stick it out until the children complete GCSEs. Do you think you'll be able to find an equivalent state school?

@TheyWentToSeaInASieve

What's education like in ME? If you are able to afford good private schools now and will not be able to do so in London, I'd stick it out until the children complete GCSEs. Do you think you'll be able to find an equivalent state school?

From my own experience, if we'd not moved to Dubai towards the end of our child's secondary schooling, and been able to pay for an IB education there which we couldn't have afforded in Europe on a good European income, we'd not now be the proud parents of a graduate who has a first class Master's degree from a renowned British university. Covid has kind of scuppered career progress, though

@jay55 those are good points yes as it's important of course that DS settle back and make friends. @TheyWentToSeaInASieve I don't know how good the state schools are vs schools here. I love DC's school here, they are thriving in it. But I would hope to rent initially in an area where there are a few good secondaries to maximize our chances once we move back.
And hopefully eventually sell our flat and buy a 3 bed. The area where we rented before we moved abroad had some good schools and I'm still in touch with some mums from when my oldest DS was in primary so I could ask their opinion. I know I won't be able to visit any at this time though.

To be honest I told DH I'm happy staying in ME until kids finish their schooling but he's the one 'who can't see himself here abroad longterm'

Also just wondering regarding buying a house in UK, does anyone know if banks will give out mortgages to someone in their mid 40s? Is there a maximum age limit to applying fir a mortgage?

I'd move back. Back here you can start working again. Also, I think it's better for your children to move now than have several more months of uncertainty.

95K......lala money to most people.

You’ll be absolutely fine for mortgages until well into your 50s from a lender’s POV if your income is stable.

I'm in the Middle East and would expect to take more than ~25% pay cut to move back to London. What are you basing on what you think the correct salary band for the role us?

I agree with others, with a son in year 7 you are very close to crunch time for moving home. If you know you don't want to stay until DC is 16 (or 18) then you need to move in the next year or so and that 95k job may not be there.

I plan to be here a long time but in your situation I'd move back.

Your reasons for moving back are a bit strange. See family and make friends? - well you can't, and restrictions are likely to go on at least another year. Go to school? - not happening either. I know almost nothing about the ME, but would kill to be in almost any place right now where kids could go to school and you could have some rudimentary form of social life. Everyone here is extremely depressed, struggling with the dark, cold and general hopelessness of the situation.

I always struggle with threads like this where a non-working spouse is putting employment pressure on the working spouse. He has all of the financial burden, your role will be less critical now children are school age and I don't think you can dictate where he works for the lifestyle you want, if it's purely finances you are worried about you need to step up and contribute, your children aren't babies any more.

You really need to compare take home pay. It may not be that difficult for you to make up the net difference without needing to earn much. After 100k you just pay so much taxes you don't see that much of the 20k after 100k. And you lose your tax free childcare entitlement (assuming you want to use childcare for your kids).

Jesus, incredible to worry about living on just 90k, just wow!!!!

I worked in Dubai for 19 years and enjoyed the tax free salary and managed to save.
Moved back to UK in 2019 and my take home salary here is only 60percent of what I cleared when working in ME.
But..... Cost of living is wayyyyy cheaper. My mortgage for a brand new 4 bed home is a third of the rent I paid in ME for an old villa. No school fees. Cheap groceries and utilities.
You cant really compare the salaries in different continents as cost of living inflates salaries in ME.
The longer you leave it to come back the more difficult it is.
I moved back as wanted my DD to have a normal teenage upbringing and do secondary school back here.
I don't regret moving back.

@FraterculaArctica

Your reasons for moving back are a bit strange. See family and make friends? - well you can't, and restrictions are likely to go on at least another year. Go to school? - not happening either. I know almost nothing about the ME, but would kill to be in almost any place right now where kids could go to school and you could have some rudimentary form of social life. Everyone here is extremely depressed, struggling with the dark, cold and general hopelessness of the situation.

Schools are closed where I am as well. It's more open (today) than the UK but when we locked down we were more locked down. We may go into mores restrictive lockdown tomorrow - no one knows. My children weren't allowed to leave the house for over two months last year! No daily exercise - literally not allowed out the front dood. Plus with the new hotel quaratine rules in the UK it would be impossible for me to make it to the bedside of a dying parent in time and difficult to attend a funeral. Being separated from family and unable to see them even in the worst scenarios has changed priorities for a lot of people.

Making a decision for the long term based on what the UK is like right now is a mistake. The job may not be there when all of this is over (if it ever is).