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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man being asked if they're pregnant??

223 replies

CC2021 · 10/02/2021 16:24

Had the covid vaccine and as a female, was asked if there is any chance I'm pregnant. Fair enough question I thought. But a male friend was asked too and the nurse told him "you can't be too careful these days". Umm what??

AIBU to think it's ridiculous to ask a MAN if they're pregnant?

OP posts:
RickJames · 12/02/2021 13:20

I think it's pretty responsible. I don't know where the idea comes from that trans-men look androgynous or that you can always tell. I've seen some that look like grizzly lumberjacks and yes, if they've recently had sex with someone that makes sperm then they could be pregnant. A PP said it's about protecting a child, which is spot on, so I really couldn't disagree with this one little question.

If the nurse demanded that folks drop trousers and show their genitals, that I would be upset about.

Colorindex · 12/02/2021 13:53

‘ If the nurse demanded that folks drop trousers and show their genitals, that I would be upset about.’ 😅😅

Colorindex · 12/02/2021 13:56

‘Can I come to your vaccination centre please for jab 2?‘

Rather you didn’t, the days are long enough without having to deal with people getting outraged over something that not real.

ArcheryAnnie · 12/02/2021 14:01

This is exactly why recording the sex of people (not their gender - and not even getting into the fact that many if not most people don't have a gender identity at all) in medical record is so necessary.

Medical conditions - including things like pregnancy, or prostate cancer, etc - don't give a shit about your gender identity. In a medical setting it should be crystal clear what sex you are.

Brefugee · 12/02/2021 14:05

you can be as transphobic as you like but these questions need to be asked. If they ask everyone and it stops one pregnant transman having a jab they shouldn't, then it will be worth it. It is really no skin of anyone's nose and might stop a harm being done.

Likewise getting transmen checked for things like cervical cancer and transwomen getting checked for prostrate cancer. Being inclusive doesn't hurt anyone.

Original poster
CC2021 · 12/02/2021 14:14

@Colorindex

‘Can I come to your vaccination centre please for jab 2?‘

Rather you didn’t, the days are long enough without having to deal with people getting outraged over something that not real.

I'm not outraged, I haven't said anything to the nurses doing a great job at the centre. Lighten up. And if you don't think it happened fair enough, so why are you still here? I'm not the only one saying it so clearly it is happening at some centres.
OP posts:
TwelvePaws · 12/02/2021 14:23

Medical conditions - including things like pregnancy, or prostate cancer, etc - don't give a shit about your gender identity. In a medical setting it should be crystal clear what sex you are.

Absolutely this. Just ask their sex. If they say they are female, ask if they’re pregnant.

Welikebeingcosy · 12/02/2021 14:31

This happened to my uncle too. Who is over six foot with huge feet and a deep voice.
Why does everyone assume that a transman would be so naive to show up pregnant for a jab which has so clearly been advertised as not suitable for pregnant women or show up and not mention it. I don't know about everyone else but when I was pregnant the first thing I would mention in any kind of medical or similar setting non related to my pregnancy was that I was pregnant.
Also if a trans man was that much of a grizzly beef cake that you couldn't be sure then how likely are they to be pregnant with all that tostesterone pumping through them?

Nameitychangity · 12/02/2021 15:31

""I don't care what some people are trying to brainwash others to think by scaring them into submission for fear of being labelled "offensive" for simply stating biological truths that have been around for over thousands of years. I'm following science.""

The problem is science itself is under threat now. As ridiculous as it sounds there are people who believe trans people have 'different DNA' to either male or female. There is a Youtuber (pretty famous in the trans community) who has recently released a video stating that trans woman (biological male) DNA is more closely akin to female DNA than natal men (they said trans women and cis men are only 'biologically similar"!! I mean, if this is the sort of utter nonsense they a) believe and b) put out into the world for people to consume, then what hope do we have? (I'm not talking about intersex/DSD people BTW). They also stated that SEX is not binary as if we are to believe that there are people just floating about out there in a class of their own.

If science no longer exists then its not surprising people are asked ridiculous questions on medical questionaires. Biological sex is SO SO important in a medical situation. Imagine a scenario where someone who clearly looks male (beard, receding hair, flat chest) etc presents unconscious in A&E but is actually a biological female. Say they had a ruptured ovarian cyst / eptopic pregnancy, or something similar, then imagine how much longer it would be before anyone discovered that they were in fact a biological woman and needed treatment for that. Time wasted because all the facts are not presented. SEX needs to be documented ALWAYS. Gender is neither here nor there.

Spindelina · 13/02/2021 20:03

Welike it certainly happens that pregnant transmen are not identified as people who need to be asked about pregnancy. Read page 17 of the CQC's annual IR(ME)R report.

ArcheryAnnie · 15/02/2021 16:30

@Brefugee

you can be as transphobic as you like but these questions need to be asked. If they ask everyone and it stops one pregnant transman having a jab they shouldn't, then it will be worth it. It is really no skin of anyone's nose and might stop a harm being done.

Likewise getting transmen checked for things like cervical cancer and transwomen getting checked for prostrate cancer. Being inclusive doesn't hurt anyone.

I am so tired of the "being inclusive doesn't hurt anyone" mantra, because all it means is "I don't care if women are hurt, because they aren't anyone we should give a shit about".
RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 19:44

In what way does a transwomen being checked for cervical cancer hurt a woman?

Covidcorvid · 17/02/2021 06:55

@RootyT00t

In what way does a transwomen being checked for cervical cancer hurt a woman?
A trans woman doesn’t have a cervix so it’s a waste of time and nhs resources. It’s also quite probably a bit “off” for the poor nurse who is supposed to be checking their “cervix”. What’s the nurse supposed to do, speculum their anus?
Original poster
CC2021 · 17/02/2021 08:13

@RootyT00t

In what way does a transwomen being checked for cervical cancer hurt a woman?
Umm... what? You do realise a trans women wouldn't have a cervix? Or do you mean a trans man? In which case no harm at all. But if you mean trans women, then clearly there is a lot wrong like @Covidcorvid has pointed out.
OP posts:
KingscoteStaff · 17/02/2021 08:33

@RootyT00t

In what way does a transwomen being checked for cervical cancer hurt a woman?
As a trans woman doesn’t have a cervix, they will not have signs of cervical cancer and will therefore make the statistics of ‘women with cancer’ seem less severe and thus less deserving of funding.
334bu · 17/02/2021 08:50

As hardly any transwomen have had or are contemplating genital surgery , I would suggest that trying to take an internal swab from their penis might be not only a misuse of NHS resources but also eye wateringly painful. However, whatever floats your boat!

BabyElephant2 · 17/02/2021 09:08

Unfortunately this is how the world is changing.

He could have been a “chest feeder”

Whatwouldscullydo · 17/02/2021 10:02

As a trans woman doesn’t have a cervix, they will not have signs of cervical cancer and will therefore make the statistics of ‘women with cancer’ seem less severe and thus less deserving of funding

A transwoman being called up for cervical screening is the very proof we need of how dangerous letting people change their sex marker at at drs is. They now won't get called for prostate screening and the transman who should have had the appointment instead didn't get called in.

It does certainly harm

Covidcorvid · 17/02/2021 10:22

Why on earth would someone without a cervix even want an uncomfortable, internal exam which is of no medical benefit? If a biological man was pushing for this the only reason i could assume is some sort of sexual kink.

As a hcp I would feel sexually assaulted if I was forced against my will to partake in someone's fantasy.

RootyT00t · 17/02/2021 10:38

@Covidcorvid

Why on earth would someone without a cervix even want an uncomfortable, internal exam which is of no medical benefit? If a biological man was pushing for this the only reason i could assume is some sort of sexual kink.

As a hcp I would feel sexually assaulted if I was forced against my will to partake in someone's fantasy.

Hmm
Original poster
CC2021 · 17/02/2021 10:42

@334bu

As hardly any transwomen have had or are contemplating genital surgery , I would suggest that trying to take an internal swab from their penis might be not only a misuse of NHS resources but also eye wateringly painful. However, whatever floats your boat!
Ooh ouch! We all know cervical screening isn't the most pleasant of experiences but damn I can only imagine how painful it would be to have a swab put into your penis Shock
OP posts:
Whatwouldscullydo · 17/02/2021 10:46

Why the Hmm Rooty

It does present a difficult situation doesn't it ? Who examines the patient?

Should female staff be forced to do it?

Scrunchy95 · 17/02/2021 10:53

I think it's brilliant. Stroke of genius! Captures the occasional Transman who may be pregnant and highlights to other men how serious this has got!

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