To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

By Jove I think I've got it.

Child wasn't actually rude, but PP feels they were according to their standards, therefore child is rude.

Child wasn't actually rude, but PP feels they were according to their standards, therefore child is rude.

Do you think this is funny and/or clever?

How strange they should think that about a 9 year old. What a waste of time and why bring in the head of all people? They were being very unreasonable and they must feel a bit bad about it now (and embarrassed lol) It is a little bit funny though 😅

Yes.

I would imagine they thought DS had mistyped and intended "8 but game". As in scored her lower but her willingness made up for it? Still a big leap but makes slightly more sense.

Anyway, I'm glad you got it sorted OP and that your DS knows you have his back if there is unfairness.

MistressoftheDarkSide

Ah.

Complete overreaction. They clearly have far too (thinking) times on their hands or are feeling far too sensitive atm. Roll on half term! 🍷

I would imagine they thought DS had mistyped and intended "8 but game". As in scored her lower but her willingness made up for it? Still a big leap but makes slightly more sense.

And definitely an awful thing for a 9 year old to say. But the faux naïveté on this thread about the fact that 9 year olds do say sexualised things to and about their teachers fairly regularly (however horrific that is) is a bit of a kick in the teeth for female teachers, who know they do and know it needs to be dealt with when it happens. The HT in this case was right to address it, even though she misinterpreted the statement.

Your DS and mine must play the same games OP, he talked to me about an 8 bit game the other day and I was shocked the term still exists (from the 80s)!

Write an email to the head - advise that on reflection you feel that they have totally over reacted and not to bother you again with something so trivial as you are very busy trying to work and supper DS with his school work and mental health. Stupid cow

Ridiculous management of a situation. Glad you’re satisfied. I hope this isn’t representative of how they resolve and communicate with parents

@AStudyinPink

Arobase

I said dodgy ground. I didn’t say it would always offend. And yes, I have explained; go back and read it.

You made an unqualified statement that a child using similes about a teacher is on very dodgy ground. You didn't say it was sometimes on very dodgy ground, or might be on dodgy ground. You really can't start justifying a statement like this by claiming it doesn't mean what it says.

I've had a look, and I can't see a post where you explain why it's OK to say Miss is pixellated (or indeed blurry) but not OK to say that, because of connection problems, she looks like an 8 bit game. If anything, saying someone looks blurry or pixellated is more offensive - as pointed out, "pixellated" is sometimes used as a humorous variant of "pissed", and blurry would mean more or less the same.

If you don’t know what something means do you always just make up your own meaning?

@AStudyinPink

I haven't heard it before, but I have certainly heard of "bits" in the context of computers - haven't you, @AStudyinPink?

Yes. It’s still not an obvious interpretation for me.

Even when he's talking about computer connection problems which can lead to the screen looking exactly like that? When dealing with a 9 year old with no history of rudeness, would you really jump to the conclusion that he was trying to say something sexual?

@Countdowntonothing

Our school would probably make a phone call for that too. Comments are strictly for work related chat only. Lesser comments like "Yaaaaay!" get deleted with an announcement from the teacher reminding them chat is strictly for work related comments.

This was a work related chat. The child was talking about problems with doing the work due to the bad computer connection, and was describing the effect that had.

And definitely an awful thing for a 9 year old to say. But the faux naïveté on this thread about the fact that 9 year olds do say sexualised things to and about their teachers fairly regularly (however horrific that is) is a bit of a kick in the teeth for female teachers, who know they do and know it needs to be dealt with when it happen
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.Nobody has said that no 9 year olds ever say inappropriate or sexualised things.

They are saying that a child describing their screen that has frozen as being like an 8 bit game isn't sexualised and the teacher has had to do some fairly large leaps to turn it into a sexualised comment (and then shown their own lack of common sense by making the accusation without actually finding out what an 8 bit game is).

It's amusing to return to a thread to see you're still clutching at straws whilst claiming anyone who disagrees with you doesn't understand.

You made an unqualified statement that a child using similes about a teacher is on very dodgy ground. You didn't say it was sometimes on very dodgy ground, or might be on dodgy ground. You really can't start justifying a statement like this by claiming it doesn't mean what it says.

I’m not sure you know what dodgy ground means.

Similes. Just say no.

It's a grammatical gateway.

@AStudyinPink

I would imagine they thought DS had mistyped and intended "8 but game". As in scored her lower but her willingness made up for it? Still a big leap but makes slightly more sense.

And definitely an awful thing for a 9 year old to say. But the faux naïveté on this thread about the fact that 9 year olds do say sexualised things to and about their teachers fairly regularly (however horrific that is) is a bit of a kick in the teeth for female teachers, who know they do and know it needs to be dealt with when it happens. The HT in this case was right to address it, even though she misinterpreted the statement.

But this is a child who has no history of that, and who was in the middle of describing his IT problems. Surely any teacher with any sense stops to have a bit of a think about that, and maybe do a bit of research, before running to the headteacher.

Even when he's talking about computer connection problems which can lead to the screen looking exactly like that? When dealing with a 9 year old with no history of rudeness, would you really jump to the conclusion that he was trying to say something sexual?

I didn’t say I would think it was sexual either. I didn’t know what an 8 bit game was so I wouldn’t have interpreted it as it was apparently meant. Depending on context I might connect it to tech issues. I don’t know, I didn’t see the exact context.

But again (and I’ve said this many times) I would necessarily think it was meant to be sexual even if I thought he was rating the teacher on her looks. 9 year olds do sometimes say sexualised things but very often they don’t fully know what ‘is meant’ by the language they’re using.

So I suppose I don’t know.

I think “Dodgy ground” is something wretched and therefore rude of you to use it toward a child.

I wish you'd have said to the head teacher "you have no authority here Jackie Weaver"