To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

24 hours later, @AStudyinPink is still here, begging people not to ask her any more questions, having not realised that if she answered them satisfactorily, people would stop on their own. Or that she could just choose not to answer them.

Hardly “begging”.

But by “satisfactorily”, you mean “admit you’re right” - but I don’t think you are. I’be answered the questions, you just don’t like my opinion. Oh well.

Glad you are satisfied with the result and that you could "blind her with science" that you knew as much about safeguarding as her.

Always sad when 1. they school dont make the first move when they have been wrong and 2. they dont outright apologise.

I always have more respect for a person when they say 'hands up. we made a mistake, sorry'. It is what schools teach children to so, yet dont always practice it themselves

I hereby give you permission to stop posting.

By now OP is probably off down the betting shop with her ds, where he's putting a monkey on a hot tip in the 3.30 that he got off a bloke down the pub.

I hereby give you permission to stop posting.

I hereby give you thanks, but will post as I like.

Oh blimey what an absolute waste of time calling you! Total over reaction and I would be fuming! I hate it when teachers give parents a telling off! I logged my daughter on the other day ( year 4) and video was off but we think ... audio was on. She shouted I’m not coming mom you Butt hole ... I had to apologise to the class group on WhatsApp in case any children had heard... thankfully they didn’t! But seriously we are in shut times, kids and parents are having an awful time and we have all had enough! Teachers need to focus on wellbeing. Also monitor the chat! Or turn off the chat so the kids cannot comment!

How redic! Can’t believe they dwelled on this AND you got a call. I would be furious!! YANBU.

I meant everyone tbh!
Including myself. Adieu.

I know, @AStudyinPink, it's just the fact that you're still having to argue the same points. You don't like the opinions of others either. It's just the fact that you seem compelled to answer people who think you're talking rubbish, incessantly. Such tenacity. And it's pointless, you haven't talked anybody round, have you!

Fair enough, sorry. I accept that!

Wow! I like a bit of a double-entendre and they certainly got the wrong end of the stick with this one! I think his description is great, visually. Tell him he gets top marks from me!

You don't like the opinions of others either

That’s not even slightly true. I don’t care what any of you think, and it’s your right to think it.

YANBU They made quite inappropriate assumptions about what your son meant. He is 9 and very few 9 year old boys would have that in their mind to even say it. Ridiculous teachers who need to rethink their approach, your son was entirely innocent

@ravenmum

I hereby give you permission to stop posting.

By now OP is probably off down the betting shop with her ds, where he's putting a monkey on a hot tip in the 3.30 that he got off a bloke down the pub.

I always have more respect for a person when they say 'hands up. we made a mistake, sorry'. It is what schools teach children to so, yet dont always practice it themselves
Same here.
Sometimes people make mistakes and a teacher who can acknowledge they made a mistake is being a good role model to the children. Acknowledge to parents there has been a misunderstanding or a mistake builds positive home-school relationships, but doubling down or giving a half apology to the effect of 'yes we accept there was a misunderstanding, but actually we were still totally right' undermines positive relationships as should the parent have any future need to speak to school they are going in knowing staff can't be trusted to conduct themselves with honesty and integrity.

No idea what an 8 bit game is. To be honest I’m surprised your DS did. I think the way your DS’s teacher and head teacher interpreted what he wrote was also well out of the scope for a 9yo! The pair of them need to take their heads out of the gutter! I’m not surprised you’re annoyed. Especially as they didn’t back down when corrected. Perhaps leave it now but keep their cards marked!

@AStudyinPink

The misunderstanding was due to her and then the HT’s woeful lack of IT knowledge.

And this is all a bit silly. The HT and teacher are experienced professional women. I am an experienced professional woman. I’ve never heard the phrase “8 bit game” before yesterday. I’m not a gamer. That’s not “woeful”, it’s just how knowledge works; without exposure to something, you probably don’t know what it is. It’s not part of their jobs, don’t be daft.

I haven't heard it before, but I have certainly heard of "bits" in the context of computers - haven't you, @AStudyinPink? If a child was talking about IT problems, I'm sure I would consider that the term must be IT related. I wouldn't be vain enough to jump to the conclusion that a child with no history of being cheeky was rating me at 8/10, and I certainly wouldn't assume he was channelling Leslie Phillips and saying I was a bit game.

The school are being utterly ridiculous, It was in no way inappropriate and the jump they made was insane

btw your 9 year sounds epic

I haven't heard it before, but I have certainly heard of "bits" in the context of computers - haven't you, @AStudyinPink?

Yes. It’s still not an obvious interpretation for me.

@Middersweekly

No idea what an 8 bit game is. To be honest I’m surprised your DS did. I think the way your DS’s teacher and head teacher interpreted what he wrote was also well out of the scope for a 9yo! The pair of them need to take their heads out of the gutter! I’m not surprised you’re annoyed. Especially as they didn’t back down when corrected. Perhaps leave it now but keep their cards marked!

I take it you dont have an 8-10 year old boy. Retro gaming is all in fashion (Nintendo are really pushing it at the moment all the old content is online - we even have retro controllers so it mimics how it used to be played. THe anniversary of Mario may well have something to do with this (not the Nintendo one as DS likes to tell me that was founded in 1889)

it is entirely in fashion for that age range to know about these things.

What child would describe a woman as ‘ a bit game’? It’s such an old fashioned term!

Child types 8 bit game.

TA queries reference.

Child clarifies.

Teacher still goes to HT and they ring Op to accuse DS of making personal and inappropriate comments.

Teachers question connectivity issues.

Chat proving above is deleted.

OP follows up.

No further action, no record BUT they were safeguarding.

OP knows this is arse covering BS cos works in safeguarding.

No apology forthcoming but child expresses desire to move on.

School have scored own goal and refuse to accept they were ill-informed and rushed to judgement.

Child judged almost unanimously by AIBU to be innocent in every regard (huge achievement in itself)

But of course child must not be blameless according to a few.

Dunno why I've posted really. Sometimes I just enjoy futility.

@DeathValley69

What child would describe a woman as ‘ a bit game’? It’s such an old fashioned term!

Yes, it sounds like Compo describing Nora Batty circa 1975.

@AStudyinPink

Faultymain5

It’s not a subtle idea to grasp, that certain others are trying to position my comments as being about “punishment” or summarise them as anything other than someone saying the DS was mildly rude and should think beforehand next time.

And yet that is not now the view of the teacher who received the comment and who's job it is to provide appropriate discipline to the child in question. Why do you know better?

And yet that is not now the view of the teacher who received the comment and who's job it is to provide appropriate discipline to the child in question. Why do you know better?

Firstly, your comment is nothing to do with what I said above, which is true - certain others are (wrongly) positioning what I said as being about “punishment”, which it wasn’t.

And secondly, it doesn’t matter what the teacher now says, or even what they said before. I think the comment was rude. I’m not going to change my mind just because the teacher says she changed hers. Why would I? The facts haven’t changed.