Page 31 | To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

Carriecakes80 · 11/02/2021 17:25

Think I would have to have a bit of a go myself. 8 bit Game is a perfectly valid way of explaining his issues, as for 'Playing about' or 'Silly chat' jesus Christ, you show me a 9 yr old that can't have a silly chat (which it wasn't) during a time when they can't see their bloody friends and I would be even more angry.

The reason they haven't apologised or backed down properly is because they are massively in the wrong, and they should apologise to your lad!!

Siepie · 11/02/2021 17:25

@AStudyinPink

In fact that's worth 20 pages of saying a child was rude, needs to be told how to communicate, needs to have manners, has broken 'the rules' (which obviously exist and anyone who disagrees is just pretending the rules don't exist), and claims that a child was making personal comments about the teacher's appearance in order to have a joke at the teacher's expense.

But Lola - very simply, people were talking to me about it, including you. It’s not like I went on about it for no reason.

This is the one post where I agree with AStudyinPink.

If people learned to stop feeding the ahem posters who enjoy winding other posters up, then they would stop posting.

Createsuser · 11/02/2021 17:26

@nineyearsapart I think you’ve got it- an innocent comment misconstrued. Poor boy!

redpencil77 · 11/02/2021 17:27

@8bitgame

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

Idiot school! Its clear that it must be a minecraft (or whatever) reference. This is the danger of technology used quickly in these circumstances because of interpretations of words, heard by any number of people, not just children but their parents, the postman - no words are "confidential" and all are open to interpretation by anyone.

Zakana · 11/02/2021 17:27

@8bitgame

Fantastic news, I’m so bloody chuffed for you both, no wonder he just wants to get on and forget about it, I don’t blame him, he sounds a lovely little lad.

As an aside, I can’t believe this thread is still going on and on and on and on semantically, I wouldn’t have the energy to argue!

cherish123 · 11/02/2021 17:31

Oh this is just ridiculous. You've explained what happened. I don't understand why HT is still making a fuss. I'd email her again, explaining what happened- just for the record.

PrincessBuggerPants · 11/02/2021 17:33

What is inappropriate here is the weird sexualisation of the comments.

If they had just said "don't comment on a teacher's appearance" that would have been slight overkill, considering what he actually said. But I could see where they are coming from.

I would be fucking furious if somebody suggested my child had said they thought a woman was 'a bit game' or an '8 out of 10', two concepts they may well not have encountered at 9 years old.

They are accusing the child of something they may genuinely not understand, which opens up a rather nasty can of worms.

GdcG · 11/02/2021 17:35

I'm a bit concerned that there could be safeguarding issues when their first thoughts are so inappropriate for the age group of the class. Are these the sort of people you want influencing your child's thoughts and behaviour?

Shell4429 · 11/02/2021 17:35

I would not be able to let this go. Being accused of something you haven’t done, which essentially this is, makes me feel the rage, especially if it’s a child. I would insist on an apology. But that’s just me.

Nellodee · 11/02/2021 17:39

It was a brilliant explanation that would have really helped someone techy (which oh so clearly his teacher was not!) troubleshoot his issues. If he was one of my students I would have been super impressed by his knowledge of retro gaming. I'm sorry you didn't get an apology, but glad they realise how very, very wrong they have been.

Lillibee4 · 11/02/2021 17:39

Well said. I would demand an apology from the school

PrincessBuggerPants · 11/02/2021 17:44

@GdcG Those were my thoughts exactly. That is hypersexualised language from a 9 year old and if they honestly thought that was what he had said and meant, they should have been questioning where he was learning that language, raising red flags and referring to safeguarding. Not telling him off.

Crystalgirl90 · 11/02/2021 17:44

As a teacher myself I can’t believe the school havent been more understanding about this, he is 9 years old and surely they would understand him as a person and realise this is not his personality to insult others, let alone his teacher!
Live lessons are so tricky for all, we are going to get teething issues, connection issues and so forth. A bit more understanding of others needs to happen here and there is no need for them to be taking this so seriously and not being forgiving!
Forget about it now as it’s their issue not yours! 🥰👍🏻

starkers22 · 11/02/2021 17:45

Tell them to google '8 bit game'.

What a ridiculous conclusion to jump to. You are totally right to be offended.

Tumblebugsjump · 11/02/2021 17:46

I can see why you’re upset, the implications of what they (weirdly) thought he wrote are unpleasant.... but their interpretation of it has given me a laugh, how ridiculous honestly!

Joss1e · 11/02/2021 17:46

They have judged your DS unfairly. Make it clear to them without being personal that your DS was not being rude. It’s important your DS is deemed polite and that he is and not unruly as they are making out. Otherwise it will affect the way they speak to him in future and then his future also. Just a quick nip in the bud before it gets out of hand.
Good luck

Gabbianni · 11/02/2021 17:48

Possibly the school should arrange for two teachers to be present in a zoom meeting - one delivers the session, while the other deals with questions/issues. It's odd that you should be called to question for technical issues, when really what you needed was support. Sometimes with zoom it helps to make sure that that is the only programme running, all other applications and windows are closed. Personally, I know where your son was coming from and find his description a succinct and accurate - one that would enable prompt remote technical support.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 11/02/2021 17:50

Email the school.

Reaffirm you’re sorry for the confusing comment and any harm or hurt that was caused.

However....and then go on to explain the full situation.

I work in a school and would absolutely not approach the situation with a stern attitude at first. I’d be asking what was meant etc. If it transpired it was malicious in nature then a sterner approach would be justified.

GdcG · 11/02/2021 17:51

I was thinking more that there were concerns about the hypersexuality of the teaching staff!

exaltedwombat · 11/02/2021 17:51

Once you've struck an attitude to something, it can be difficult to back down! Anyway, storm in a teacup. Move on. Perhaps mention it as a humorous incident next time you're face to face (for real) with the teacher. They live in a world where everyone is eager to take offence at the smallest excuse. Made worse by multiculturalism and the Internet barrier to full communication. Can't blame them for getting jumpy.

Clusterfckintolerant · 11/02/2021 17:52

If there's one thing lockdown has revealed about schools, it's how some staff are simply brilliant, others are oxygen thieves. I'd call her back.

It's totally ok to do so, saying you've reflected on the situation and checked the facts, so there's no misunderstanding moving forward.

I don't see how your son's comment is even a problem. Poor connection is no-one's fault and is one of the most disruptive situations we've experienced so far. Your son tried to keep things positive, there was nothing critical about the teacher at all. I wouldn't accept any criticism of my son like this, period.

Pieceofpurplesky · 11/02/2021 17:52

50 year old teacher with no clue what an 8 bit game is. I can see how it could be misconstrued and where it came from - punctuation was key though!

An 8 bit game
An 8, bit game

Great description though

LolaSmiles · 11/02/2021 17:52

CurlyhairedAssassin
That's my opinion too.
There's an awful lot of "but he is rude and making personal comments" when the school didn't call the OP to say 'your child made an unpleasant comment about the teacher's appearance', nor did they call the OP to inform her that her child's online conduct broke their online learning policy. They called because they decided a comment about the video link had sexual undertones. Trying to argue 'yeah but there might have been a policy... yeah but he was rude and personal' is clutching qt straws (and largely based on a minority of posters seeking to find offence when the context shows otherwise).
A teacher and a head didn't bother to investigate properly, and rather than apologise, they tried to keep digging away.

Thankfully the OP has managed to get some sort of resolution and now knows exactly what some staff at that school are like.

saraclara · 11/02/2021 17:54

@Gabbianni

Possibly the school should arrange for two teachers to be present in a zoom meeting - one delivers the session, while the other deals with questions/issues. It's odd that you should be called to question for technical issues, when really what you needed was support. Sometimes with zoom it helps to make sure that that is the only programme running, all other applications and windows are closed. Personally, I know where your son was coming from and find his description a succinct and accurate - one that would enable prompt remote technical support.

That's what happened. The TA was dealing with the issues in the chat, while the teacher taught.

thenovice · 11/02/2021 17:54

Your poor DS! Clearly the Head was being rather silly, but I would leave well alone now. Let the dust settle and it will all get forgotten. The longer it is raked over, the more it will be remembered and get out of proportion.