To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

It's been picked up by a Twitter account called mumsnet_madness who have posted a screenshot of the OP.

How ridiculous :) OP I would just ignore it. Unless you could send a screenshot to the teacher I suppose. I cant imagine a teacher complaining to the head about it. I mean, I'm sure teachers hear a lot worse lol. Water under the bridge now but next time - if it does ever happen again - I wouldn't be so quick to apologise, even though that would be my first go-to as well!!! I think it's leftover from school - getting a 'telling off' from the head. FGS!!!!!

Damn shame they have deleted the chat. If they keep the incident on record without factual evidence that's pretty poor imo.

Time for them to eat humble pie really, if they want any chance of not looking ridiculously over zealous.

This could all have been avoided by a bit of level headed investigation on their part before the frankly unhealthy insinuations being leveled at your DS and by extension yourself.

Good luck OP.

I think he was rude. I never felt the need to describe teachers in the classroom. He did it twice. He seems to think he’s a comedian. There’s an element of ‘boys will be boys’ to this thread which is depressing.

Do it. Tone should have changed straight away. I think young boys get penalised hugely for being young boys - they don’t always explain themselves in ways that adults understand and I think it’s really unfair. I would be writing an email and expecting an apology for the ‘telling off’ by the Head.

@stackemhigh

I think he was rude. I never felt the need to describe teachers in the classroom. He did it twice. He seems to think he’s a comedian. There’s an element of ‘boys will be boys’ to this thread which is depressing.

He wasn't commenting on her appearance. he was commenting on the screen freezing

Dh was clearly exaggerating about 'all over Twitter'. He does follow Mumsnet Madness, so that will be where he saw it. Incidentally, he agrees that your ds did nothing wrong and that the school is being ridiculous, OP.

It’s not ‘boys will be boys’. He WASNT making a comment about her appearance. He was describing what was happening to the her on the screen. In a jokey way. FFS.

[quote 8bitgame]@lazylinguist I can't see anything on twitter thankfully. I don't want it turning into a circus I just want DS not to be accused of something he hasn't done. Especially given the nature of the issue.[/quote]
mobile.twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/1359491008489283584

The class teacher, head teacher and TA are idiots. I cannot understand how 3 grown adults couldnt figure out what he meant, even with his explanation.

Although, the way you say the head teacher instead told you off for him disrupting things, after you explained what he meant, sounds like she simply didn't want to lose face so was grasping at straws. That's just very bad management. Glad to hear you'll be speaking to them again.

They are being ridiculous. Reading this made me laugh.

@stackemhigh

I think he was rude. I never felt the need to describe teachers in the classroom. He did it twice. He seems to think he’s a comedian. There’s an element of ‘boys will be boys’ to this thread which is depressing.

He didn't describe the teacher, he said that her image on screen looked like an 8-bit game, meaning pixelated.

I think he was rude. I never felt the need to describe teachers in the classroom. He did it twice. He seems to think he’s a comedian. There’s an element of ‘boys will be boys’ to this thread which is depressing

I'm surprised you think that. Personally my ds would be less likely than my dd to make the observation the OP's ds made. Both are aware of 8 bit games though.

And, yet again... he was describing the effect of the tech failure really, not the teacher. Unless you think he would say that the teacher looked pixelated in real life.

Thanks @lazylinguist and @LateToTheParty - I've found it now and thankfully it looks quite niche so not going to get back to the school - phew! :) (and most people agree with me even on Twitter so there's that :)

and most people agree with me even on Twitter so there's that

Indeed. I would have been astonished if they hadn't tbh! I can only imagine dh's face if one of his colleagues had approached him saying they'd been rated by a pupil as an 8 and 'a bit game' and then had shown him their 'evidence' of this.

@8bitgame

Just outlined everything to DH who is not impressed with the jump they made and then having made it, how they approached a potential safe guarding issue. Particularly given it now transpires DS has explained exactly what he meant before they called me.

I will call the HT back tomorrow. I am never “that parent” and I am always really firm about him following the rules and being respectful (probably explaining my immediate feeling that I needed to apologise and being mortified his teacher was upset) but I am not happy about him being accused of using sexualised language when it is abundantly clear he did not.

They handled a potential safeguarding issue in the way it should have been handled. They took it seriously and contacted the parent to investigate. They listened to you and they realised it wasn't a safeguarding issue after all.

These things do happen and it is important that they are taken seriously in case a child is at risk.

Just looked at the Twitter thread and majority opinion on both sites is now YANBU.

I am heartened by this glimmer of sanity in an increasingly insane world.....

Yanbu they've clearly got the wrong end of the stick and I would be annoyed too.

Given that the child explained his comment and they still ploughed on, I can't believe this is being touted as an appropriately handled safeguarding issue.

@stackemhigh

I think he was rude. I never felt the need to describe teachers in the classroom. He did it twice. He seems to think he’s a comedian. There’s an element of ‘boys will be boys’ to this thread which is depressing.

No, there isn't. Nobody has said it would have been acceptable if he had been making a comment about her personal appearance.

But he wasn't. What would it even mean, if he had? He wasn't specifying a character, so he couldn't have been referring to anything personal. Unless you think he was criticising her for looking pixelated in real life?

Safeguarding issue

This reminds me of my DS when she was teaching. One little boy had put his name on a piece of work, and had written "Bun" instead of "Burn" for his second name. He and his friend giggled and pointed it out to DS, who smiled and said "Ooh, Master Bun, the baker's son!" The next day, his mother came into school, spoke to the head,and said his teacher had called him "Master Bum" ! DS was mortified and had to explain it was a reference to the Happy Families card game.

@lazylinguist

Safeguarding issue

potential safeguarding issue yes

It is a safeguarding issue if a 9 year old wrote that their teacher was "a bit game." That's what the school were concerned about. So they called.

They heard that this was a misunderstanding and therefore recognised that there was no safeguarding concern. Embarrassment all round but no harm done.

I think he was rude. I never felt the need to describe teachers in the classroom. He did it twice. He seems to think he’s a comedian. There’s an element of ‘boys will be boys’ to this thread which is depressing.

What thread have you been reading?

Rude how? He didn't do it twice. He made a comment to his mum, which no one else heard then posted the same comment to his teacher as an explanation as to the technical issues he was experiencing. He was then asked to explain his comment by the TA, which he did.

OP if you are calling the school back, check that if it was discussed with anyone else (other parent; other staff members) that the HT also updates them on the outcome.