It's a Parking One

[ILoveFlumps]

Ok mumsnetters I need some ideas.
I popped out for 10 minutes this morning and come home to a random car on my driveway (outside my house). This is private property and allocated parking for a New Build. The Main Street it's off is permit parking only - this car has a permit.
The only place I can park is blocking it in causing a semi obstruction which I've done.
Police won't help as a civil matter.
Note has been left on the car by me telling them it's private property.
What else can I do?! Immediate neighbours have no idea whose car this is.

Well done OP you handled it well. No matter what their job it does not give them the right to trespass on your property. To all the people slating the OP for having a calm and measured conversation with the person who parked on her drive don't be daft. I am sure if it were an ambulance then the OP would have behanved differently.

She was perfectly reasonable and handled it well.

@Hoppinggreen

If he HAD been breastfeeding a baby I’m sure OP would have been more sympathetic

If a man was breastfeeding a baby, I'd be bloody shocked.

Typical mumsnet weirdos at it again, defending this man and having a go at OP for "embarrassing" him! Oh dear the poor man. Where do we get this strange section of society who seems to have the strangest opinions and strength of feeling completely opposite to anyone I know in reality??

You sound like a right wanker.

You do realise that I'm a real person reading your words?

Why are some people claiming that anyone is saying he had a right to park there? Nobody is. We're just saying that there's a proportional response, and one that's a bit kinder.

@sundowners

Typical mumsnet weirdos at it again, defending this man and having a go at OP for "embarrassing" him! Oh dear the poor man. Where do we get this strange section of society who seems to have the strangest opinions and strength of feeling completely opposite to anyone I know in reality??

Exactly!

He parked there deliberately because it was convenient for him. He didn’t care if it was convenient for the property owner.

But always “poor menz” when a woman decides not to tolerate a man’s poor decision making.

The key worker bit is ridiculous - he wasn’t performing emergency heart surgery at the side of the road ffs.

Why couldn’t he park across the drive of the person he was actually visiting.

@sundowners

Typical mumsnet weirdos at it again, defending this man and having a go at OP for "embarrassing" him! Oh dear the poor man. Where do we get this strange section of society who seems to have the strangest opinions and strength of feeling completely opposite to anyone I know in reality??

you can tell WHO the CF nuisance parkers are in real life

Not taking sides in this, but if you are a carer who struggles to find parking during home visits then it may be worthwhile to have a pre-printed message explaining that you are a carer visiting a sick/old person and include your tel. no.
That would help defuse most situations like this.

@sundowners

Typical mumsnet weirdos at it again, defending this man and having a go at OP for "embarrassing" him! Oh dear the poor man. Where do we get this strange section of society who seems to have the strangest opinions and strength of feeling completely opposite to anyone I know in reality??

Look at it from a different perspective.

If the OP was male and carer female, the replies and encouragement would have been very different.

"Kick her in the fanny and steal her purse", amongst others, wouldn't be quite so funny. Nor would humiliating her into repeating derogatory words and threatening to call her boss.

But hey, who cares. It was a male carer so all bets are off.

Beyond making them wait and telling them how annoyed and unimpressed you are the rest is unnecessary.

Needsmustnow was he "kind" by intentionally parking on someone else's drive? If e did it to OP its very likely he does it regularly. Its selfish, lazy, inconsiderate and unkind. So you think people should be able to act exactly how they want when they want- no matter if its illegal and directly impacting someone else's day and potentially worse- but should not even get reprimanded so they hopefully remember and don't repeat the same mistake?

I don't think you should threaten someone's job, no.

MN is some strange place where you’re a very very mean person to not let somebody’s dog shit in your garden(as it’s being picked up) and driveway if it’s empty then it’s fair game.

What planet are you on people?

Private property is private property, unless to have a business to be there you don’t go.

The only vehicles I would not mind parking on my driveway would be emergency one on call.

I agree that he should - at least - have left a note. He should not have parked on the drive at all.

But who knows what he found at his first appointment? Maybe he was expecting to be 10 minutes, but his first visit had had a fall, or was confused and upset, or whatever?

Being a carer is not like being a plumber.

OP you were awesome.

@Christinaismyperson

He probably had to choose whether to inconvenience a random drive owner who he thought on the balance of probabilities was out at work for the day, or inconvenience a vulnerable old or disabled person who needed essential personal care. I don’t think that qualifies him as a dick or a tit.

The conversation is beyond cringe worthy and makes the OP sound like a condescending, patronising, superior cow.

(I don’t drive, so don’t worry this is one peasant that won’t be parking on private land )

No. He had to choose between being a tit and parking on private property or parking legally and using his legs a bit more.

Why did your NDN have to put up no parking signs himself? Has this been an issue before?

If the OP was male and carer female, the replies and encouragement would have been very different.

"Kick her in the fanny and steal her purse", amongst others, wouldn't be quite so funny. Nor would humiliating her into repeating derogatory words and threatening to call her boss.

I'm a regular on the feminism boards so I'm about as far as it gets from 'oh, men get such a hard time'. But I do agree with this. I remember being on one particular thread years ago where the OP had parked in someone's private parking space whilst doing school pickup and when she got back to the car the man was waiting to access his space and was understandably angry. He didn't physically threaten her although he did raise his voice. The thread ran to 1000 posts and it was around half and half, if I remember correctly, as to whether he owed her an apology or she owed him one. People who pointed out that there would be no need for apologies on anyone's part if the OP hadn't parked on someone's private property were accused of victim blaming. It was quite the divisive topic.

He had to choose between being a tit and parking on private property or parking legally and using his legs a bit more

OP said that:

On street parking is minimal and can be hard to find

So, he did the wrong thing, but we all know that carers operate under very tight timings. I think that humiliating him then threatening to call his bosses about it was excessive and cruel.

Hmm. I’m a bit divided on this. He did without doubt park like an arsehole, and he shouldn’t have done, but he apologised repeatedly and I think you went a bit too far with what you said to him.

This reminds me of a few years ago when our bank completely cocked up our new mortgage application, making dozens of errors including sending us 40 pages of incorrect paperwork. I took great delight in sending them a 7 page complaint letter, including calling them a bunch of incompetent numpties and attaching a photo of our guinea pigs in their hutch with all of the bank’s 40 pages of inaccurate mortgage info neatly used as bedding. (Don’t worry, this was for photographic purposes only and was immediately removed!) Anyway I though I’d been hilariously witty. But I look back and know I went a bit too far.

To be honest OP I read the first half of your conversation with him whilst chuckling and cheering you on, and the second half feeling a bit uncomfortable.

As he had already apologised.

Team Flumps here!

There must be a hell of a lot of MNetters that spend their life just generally being walked over and making everyone feel amazing even when they’ve been twats. I wish I could be as holy and good 😇

Unfortunately, I’m not.

He took a chance, he got caught out. His actions caused this. The OP is entitled to be cross

Yeh op. I know it isn’t your issue that they guy would have to have walked a long way. I just feel sorry for carers in this situation in general whatever their sex.

You handled it better than I would have op.