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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a Parking One

572 replies

ILoveFlumps · 10/02/2021 08:00

Ok mumsnetters I need some ideas.
I popped out for 10 minutes this morning and come home to a random car on my driveway (outside my house). This is private property and allocated parking for a New Build. The Main Street it's off is permit parking only - this car has a permit.
The only place I can park is blocking it in causing a semi obstruction which I've done.
Police won't help as a civil matter.
Note has been left on the car by me telling them it's private property.
What else can I do?! Immediate neighbours have no idea whose car this is. Angry

OP posts:
assiasi · 10/02/2021 11:21

Wasn't expecting to say this at the end of it but I think you've been unnecessarily mean. This was a first time offence and he apologised multiple times. Hope you're feeling good about yourself.

I would have accepted the apology, and if I felt inclined, contacted the care agency and asked for a generic reminded to be sent to staff not to park on driveways. Not mentioning the member of staff directly, because, as above I think his apology was suffice.

Toorapid · 10/02/2021 11:22

@Frazzledbutcalm

hello .., he made a call?? 🙄😂

He parked inappropriately, disrespectfully on a private drive! Only doing so because he thought the OP would be out all day and therefore he’d not get caught ... if she had been visibly home, he wouldn’t have parked there ., says it all. He knew he was wrong.

Surely it's not that he thought he'd "get away with it" if she was out but that he wouldn't have inconvenienced her.

Obviously he shouldn't have done it and I'm sure he's learned his lesson, but he's doing a rotten, desperately needed job for very little money. Why would anyone want to make his day worse for fun?

Needsmustnow · 10/02/2021 11:23

Yes... I have. And expecting OP not to be pissed off because the idiot parker has a particular job is ludicrous!

Nobody has said that. I think it's perfectly reasonable for her to be pissed off with the inconvenience. I also think it's unreasonable for to humiliate him and threaten to call his boss to make him grovel after he has already apologised.

HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 11:23

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Have you actually read any of the responses that you don't agree with? Yes... I have. And expecting OP not to be pissed off because the idiot parker has a particular job is ludicrous!

Profusely? Really?

Yup.

Him: Err yeah, I’m really sorry
...
Him: yeah, I’m sorry
...
Him: (Silence) then he says: look I’m really sorry, would you mind moving so I can get on to my next job
...
Him: I dunno what else to say

Somanysocks · 10/02/2021 11:23

Being a carer does not mean he isn't a tit.

I know a few carers who are really quite nasty and entitled and deserve to be humiliated (but that's a whole different thread).

Needsmustnow · 10/02/2021 11:23

but he's doing a rotten, desperately needed job for very little money. Why would anyone want to make his day worse for fun?

Yep.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/02/2021 11:24

Nobody has said that. I think plenty of people have said that!

Toorapid · 10/02/2021 11:25

How many times would make an apology profuse? Grin

BerylReader · 10/02/2021 11:26

Well done OP. I think you went pretty easy on him.

ThelmaNotLouise · 10/02/2021 11:26

Honestly, the hypocrisy! If he had been a plumber or a builder or a neighbour's friend, the PP currently crowing about the way OP spoke to him would be cheering her on for saying what she did. Being a carer does not give you a free pass to trespass on private property and then be let off the hook for it.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/02/2021 11:26

@HelloThereMeHearties Grin yeah! That's profuse. Probably heartfelt too!

CakeRequired · 10/02/2021 11:27

Why are people getting on ops case? You do realise not every NHS worker or carer has been gifted from God to be put on this earth to be a shining star amongst the rest of us? Hmm

They are human. They can be knob heads too. They can decide not to think for a few more seconds and instead make a stupid decision. A few of them have even been murderers.

He was a knob. I doubt he'll do it again.

Original poster
ILoveFlumps · 10/02/2021 11:28

Well this thread has taken a turn I didn't expect.
Just to reiterate:
I wasn't rude, I didn't shout. Patronising maybe.
I guess we will have to agree to disagree. No one else was there, so it's hard to explain the context.
It has nothing to do with class or job title either. My response would have been the same regardless of whether he was a key worker or not.
To those who have taken umbrage to my comments, please do come back when you've found yourself in a similar situation and let me know how you've handled it so perfectly .....

OP posts:
Angelou79 · 10/02/2021 11:29

I think you absolutely did right thing, he said he assumed you were at work so no doubt would have done it again. I think I may have been ruder or harsher. Key worker or not it rude!

CokeAndPepsi · 10/02/2021 11:30

@BlokeHereInPeace

There's a working class person put in their place, well done!
Good old Mumsnet— only a matter of time before someone brings up social class in a completely irrelevant way. It must get really tiring carrying that chip on your shoulder all day!
Toorapid · 10/02/2021 11:30

I think blocking him in and forcing him to knock and apologise to get his car moved made the point adequately, whether he was a carer or a plumber. There was no need to humiliate him for the sake of an entertaining thread on MN

assiasi · 10/02/2021 11:32

@ILoveFlumps I think it's pretty clear that those who take issue with your comments would have been less harsh, accepted the apology without the ensuing humiliation, and most likely have achieved the same thing- him not parking on the drive again.

Needsmustnow · 10/02/2021 11:32

To those who have taken umbrage to my comments, please do come back when you've found yourself in a similar situation and let me know how you've handled it so perfectly .....

I think most of us have been in these kinds of situations. I've had people make mistakes and I've responded as badly as you. I've also responded better. I've also been the person making a mistake and been treated as badly as this man and at other times better.

That's being human and learning and growing, isn't it?

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 10/02/2021 11:33

Well done OP!

Sadly the world is full of CF who think rules don't apply to them.
Hopefully this one will have learnt his lesson and you will have saved a CRITICAL worker from being blocked in or unable to access an emergency easily

Teardrop2021 · 10/02/2021 11:33

Op you did the right thing. Just because he's a carer doesn't give him.the right to use you're drive.

harriethoyle · 10/02/2021 11:35

OP I salute you! An excellent resolution...

Toorapid · 10/02/2021 11:36

I had my drive blocked only recently. I couldn't get back on it. I was annoyed and hooted loudly as I could see driver was in the car. She opened to door to show me she was feeding a newborn. I could have yelled at her that I didn't care why she'd felt the need to park so inconsiderately and insisted she move, baby or not, but instead I parked down the road a bit and walked back.

I'm going to guess both our days were improved as a result.

OP, did he actually stop you going anywhere you'd planned to be?

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 10/02/2021 11:36

To those who have taken umbrage to my comments, please do come back when you've found yourself in a similar situation and let me know how you've handled it so perfectly .....

I can think of one time but was lucky enough to have an old banger available. I just parked behind, and left someone getting more and more irate for more than an hour. It was quite funny, as they were too worried about their own car to risk damaging mine and I could see neighbours looking at their windows and laughing.

Original poster
ILoveFlumps · 10/02/2021 11:39

@Needsmustnow

To those who have taken umbrage to my comments, please do come back when you've found yourself in a similar situation and let me know how you've handled it so perfectly .....

I think most of us have been in these kinds of situations. I've had people make mistakes and I've responded as badly as you. I've also responded better. I've also been the person making a mistake and been treated as badly as this man and at other times better.

That's being human and learning and growing, isn't it?

I didn't treat him badly at all. Badly would have been taking some suggestions further up the thread. I could have refused to move, ignored the door, shouted at him, pretended to have drunk so as not to move, had the car towed, sworn at him, been abusive, and generally been an arsehole.

But I didn't. He was on my private property. I don't think you're understanding this. You've clearly never had someone park on your property meaning you cannot park there yourself?

OP posts:
Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 10/02/2021 11:39

I'm going to guess both our days were improved as a result.

good for you.
It doesn't mean MY day would improve if I was leaving any CF block my drive!

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