Over a pot of yogurt?

[IdreamofClooney]

My Ex looks after DS two afternoons a week.

On those two afternoons I ensure that DS's bag is fully packed with nappies, wipes, spare clothes, books toys etc.

Ex also expects me to provide a packed lunch for DS.

On several occassions he has returned the lunch bag complete with half eaten contents inside it so I have to deal with a decomposing sandwich (left loose in bag, not put back into the box it was in) a half eaten apple and worst of all a half eaten yogurt so that the bag is covered in warm yogurt.

I've mentioned to Ex several times that he should put any uneaten things into the bin, rather than back in the bag. I had to throw out the previous bag as it got so minging.

I got back last night after the day from hell at work with a cranky DS to find that once again he'd left all the crap in the lunch bag and I had to clean it up again (while trying to cook DS's dinner, unload dishwasher etc)

I sent Ex a text as was so pissed off asking him to arrange lunch for DS today as there are plenty of bins and that it was not cool to leave me to clear up the crap.

Ex turned up at my work at lunch time and left DS with me after telling me to f off and telling me how unreasonable I was and how no one can get on with me etc etc (this is especially upsetting as I have been having a nightmare with a woman at work).

I can see that it does look petty but I am so fed up with Ex, I am exhausted and that bloody yogurt pot was just hte final straw.

Ex then turned up an hour later to take DS after saying a few more hurtful things to me.

I am really upset and need some perspective.

The whole thing is symptomatic of the relationship Ex and I have - he is lazy and tells me I am petty when I try to deal with things.

I really want to put DS into nursery full time as I cannot rely on Ex but don;t want DS to suffer

Thanks everyone

I really do appreciate all of your responses - I find it really hard being on my own for a lot of reasons but the hardest thing is dealing with my ex for the sake of my son and the way he makes me feel. When it is just me and him it is so hard - I say "let's agree to disagree" then he goes off on one abotu how unreasonable and petty I am and of course as there is no one else there to witness his behaviour I start to feel as if I am at fault.

I wish he had an email address! This is a man who only recently opened a bank account - all he owns in the world are his clothes and his guitar - he spends all his cash on booze and fags (apart from all the money he gives to me that is )I have put stuff in writing for him before - the detaisl of the money he owes me for example as he cleared out hte joint bank accout of all of the tax credits and child benefit money and cannot see why that is not cool, and for the extra nursery fees I;ve had to pay when he doesn't turn up. He just ripped up the letter.

When I see it written down he sounds even worse!

I love DS to bits and I am so glad that I have him but if it weren;t for DS I would wish I had never laid eyes on the twunt

Oh PIggy I do so want to punch him in the face (well kick him in the gonads) but I try and rise above it

Serene smile (well more like sobbing in the loo)

no wonder his other child lives in Spain I bet you feel like running away far away from him too! Please don't let him get you down, you deserve better.

I would love to take DS and move far, far away from him as he really upset me on a regular basis.

I have been much happier since splitting up with him but as I see him so much sometimes it feels as if we are not really apart!

I am going to have a long hard think about the contact arrangments as this is just not working, yogurt or no yogurt

You haven't been split long, I don't know about how it all works but I'm sure that you'll get it sorted in time, put it this way, you've tried it one way and it hasn't worked so you need to find another. Trial and error I suppose. At least you've got somewhere to offload with people who are on your side and will listen to you day or night!!!! You might be a single parent, but you're not alone.

It is one thing forgetting to change a nappy it is another leaving it on purpose.

This child is his son.