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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fashion group on FB sending screenshots to a members MLM 'employer'

128 replies

Dogscanteatonions · 08/02/2021 12:30

There's a large FB group called Fashion Forward Bitch (run by Totes Inappropes the blogger) - the admin can be very ummm...forthright and woe betide anyone who disagrees with them. It's very cliquey.

A member put this post up - she's a MLM seller and quite rightly MLM is banned on there, I imagine she was questioning a post removal or something. m.facebook.com/groups/fashionforwardb/permalink/2830861680458984/

Anyway it's led to a right pile on on the post and one of the admin has now sent screenshots to Body Shop at Home of the disagreement. I think this is awful behaviour on the part of admin and not the way to deal with things. It makes for very unpleasant reading.

I don't agree with MLM companies at all and I know it's not a proper employer as such but still the woman may rely on the income.

Admin have been putting up screenshots from the private messages - obviously not of what admin have said though so it's one sided.

AIBU in thinking this is a terrible way to admin a group?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 09/02/2021 07:32

@Naticus

I left one of the groups last year when 'Totes' may as well have said women wearing skimpy clothes deserve to be raped.
I remember that - it was a terrible post. Yet again anyone who said as much got ripped apart.
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Completelyunassertive · 09/02/2021 07:46

It's a horrible group! I left last year after a huge post from group owner rudely stating what is and isn't allowed in photos. Plus the majority of members on there look ridiculous; fringes that are about half an inch long and gold sparkly brogues are particularly fawned over.

VivaDixie · 09/02/2021 08:10

She has blogged about this thread and the horse one, crying that we are all mean. Then the inevitable pile on by her followers about how nasty is Mumsnet and calling us that aggressive feminist name (not sure if I am allowed to say it 🤔)

Just proving our point really

soberfabulous · 09/02/2021 08:17

Agreed that it is a horrible group.

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/02/2021 08:17

I’ve just had a look at the page.

I find it hard to believe anyone takes fashion advice from that page, I hope there’s no beauty advice being doled out.

AuntieMarys · 09/02/2021 08:32

I sense she will get an influx of new members after this thread.

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 09/02/2021 08:38

@Completelyunassertive

It's a horrible group! I left last year after a huge post from group owner rudely stating what is and isn't allowed in photos. Plus the majority of members on there look ridiculous; fringes that are about half an inch long and gold sparkly brogues are particularly fawned over.
Was that the 'no supermarket clothes' debacle?
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HandforthParishCouncilTurfWar · 09/02/2021 08:41

So this is why the sbs spin off group had an influx of new members over the last few days I presume.

What is it about people with a "social media presence" being utterly unwilling or unable to admit fault? Wouldn't it be much less drama to say "ok, I take on board the point, I'll chat with admin about how best to deal in future"?

But I guess these people just love the drama, and the attention.

We all know "be kind" is a one way process in the heads of these kinds of people.

AdultierAdult · 09/02/2021 08:43

Wow. I'm in one called Style Sisterhood and it's lovely, for anyone thinking of jumping ship.

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 09/02/2021 08:43

@HandforthParishCouncilTurfWar

So this is why the sbs spin off group had an influx of new members over the last few days I presume.

What is it about people with a "social media presence" being utterly unwilling or unable to admit fault? Wouldn't it be much less drama to say "ok, I take on board the point, I'll chat with admin about how best to deal in future"?

But I guess these people just love the drama, and the attention.

We all know "be kind" is a one way process in the heads of these kinds of people.

What's the spin off group please?
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MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 09/02/2021 08:50

Stopped following Totes content a couple of years ago but not surprised to hear there is now a toxic 'Totes' community. Hate MLM too so they deserve each other 🤷‍♀️

HandforthParishCouncilTurfWar · 09/02/2021 09:00

@Dogscanteatonions style sisterhood as mentioned above. Started from the fallout of the old sbs debacle but relatively drama free

AuntieMarys · 09/02/2021 09:01

I had a fringe like that in 1964, cut by my mum.

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 09/02/2021 09:07

Thanks HandforthParishCouncilTurfWar

Just read her blog today - really does prove the point! Absolutely nothing taken on board - just 'poor little ole me' No wonder so many in the equestrian world have been on about her - absolutely no acknowledgement she could possibly have been in the wrong despite people telling her horses are killed by people feeding them.

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MacDuffsMuff · 09/02/2021 09:12

She has blogged about this thread and the horse one, crying that we are all mean. Then the inevitable pile on by her followers about how nasty is Mumsnet and calling us that aggressive feminist name (not sure if I am allowed to say it 🤔)

This is exactly what I would expect. She would never in a million years consider that, actually, her admins are a bunch of cunts. They'll happily dish it out to others (and do it with glee) but as soon as anyone dares even slightly challenge 'Totes' or whatever the fuck little girl name she calls herself, they're the mean one. The way her followers crawl round her is embarrassing.

VivaDixie · 09/02/2021 09:13

What was the sbs group? Is that the same woman?

ZoeTurtle · 09/02/2021 09:40

Wow, never thought I'd feel sorry for an MLMer but even the description of that group makes me want to vomit: A delightful group for people who like fashion, shopping for bargains, being fashion forward and swearing whilst drinking a lot. Basically it’s a group for like minded individuals whom shop too much in Asos and Zara. I thought that we might swap clothes and tell each other when there’s sales on whilst sipping gin.

TheVelvetiser · 09/02/2021 09:46

That group is a scary place to hang out, I left because just witnessing the bullying made me feel dirty. Also, her fringe gives me nightmares Grin

MacDuffsMuff · 09/02/2021 09:55

@ZoeTurtle It's not even about the MLMer to be honest. She shouldn't have posted anything on there but the response she got from one of the admins was so shitty and unnecessary - and then of course the other admins, one in particular who seems to be able to sniff out a drama at twenty paces, appear and pile on.

Anyone who says 'um, is that necessary' etc., immediately gets it in the neck. Someone tried to interject the other evening and was booted off the group with the admin saying 'I've fucked her off'. So really, if you want to have an opinion of your own, it's not the group for you. I've left the group now anyway so won't be able to see any further content.

LolaSmiles · 09/02/2021 10:02

There is a certain type of person who thinks being a Facebook admin makes them Lord or Lady of all. It feels like they thrive on drama. They seem to dish it out in a nasty way, but cry and have a strop and call for a pile on if anyone politely challenges.

VivaDixie · 09/02/2021 10:06

[quote MacDuffsMuff]@shamelessnamechangeagain

One of the admin is a 50+ year old woman who looks like a child dressed up

I know exactly who you mean and she's deeply unpleasant and rude. I'm sure she's one of these 'I just say it as it is' people who think they're very 'quirky', but most of us actually detest.[/quote]
A quick glance showed me who you mean. My word she looks like someone who I would immediately avoid. 'Try too hard' doesn't even cover it!

ZoeTurtle · 09/02/2021 10:07

MacDuffsMuff I know the type of place. I was booted from a FB group for similar, and me and a few of the other exiles created a rival group. We had about 25k members within the year. Grin

MacDuffsMuff · 09/02/2021 10:15

It's such a bizarre situation though - I believe that in all honesty, most people are thoroughly nice - and certainly a vast majority of the members of that group are really great people. Witty and up for a laugh. But there are also too many willing to be recruited by Totes and her band of merry sadmins (who really seem to worship the very ground she walks on) whenever they want to bully someone out of the group and that's happening with more frequency. I don't have anything in particular against Totes, I don't know her, I just feel that she seems to have totally bought into the hype that she's created for herself and as I said previously, these people love to dish it out but turn on the 'poor ickle me' bollocks when things don't go their way.

I've seen her say before that she's a real person and takes things to heart, yet she doesn't seem to consider that when she's putting the boot into someone else.

unmarkedbythat · 09/02/2021 10:17

They sound like a bunch of shits who have a cheek trying to take the moral high ground.

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 09/02/2021 11:01

@shamelessnamechangeagain

I left that group last year. The fawning of some members and the mean girl attitude of the admins didn’t sit well. The quality of the posts has gone downhill too. There used to be some brilliant members-genuinely funny people. I detest the nastiness and sniggering. One of the admin is a 50+ year old woman who looks like a child dressed up 😂
I know who you mean - she can be quite poisonous,
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