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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour waking us at 4.50

235 replies

soughsigh · 08/02/2021 05:20

My neighbour has a really noisy car. He usually leaves for work at around 6.15 and wakes us all up then. For the last 4 years, we haven't said anything (especially since the toddler has been struggling with early starts for the last year so we're all up before then anyway). I don't know if it wakes any of the other neighbours up, our bedroom is quite close to their drive but you'd think it would wake the other side up too.

This morning be left for work at 4.50. It's really cold so he spent a few minutes revving the engine to warm it up faster. Needless to say he woke the whole house, and for once the toddler hadn't woken at 4.30.

Do I knock on the door and politely ask if he could take his wife's car to work if he starts before 6? She doesn't use it to get to work, it usually sits on the driveway during the day.

I'm genuinely torn here.
yabu - no don't say anything
Yunbu - your neighbour shouldn't be waking everyone before 5

Sorry if I can't reply quickly, I have a wide awake toddler to deal with.

OP posts:

LindaEllen · 08/02/2021 12:06

[quote soughsigh]@Jasperjosephjulian he has a sporty car, his wife's is much more sensible. I would say his wife's would cost a lot less to run, plus be a lot safer in the snow![/quote]
Not up to you to tell him which car to drive though, is it?

It's none of your business, sorry.

Get better windows, ear plugs, a white noise machine, or all 3.

Tiredwiththeshits · 09/02/2021 17:23

Yes I agree my dad used to leave early end had the same with his old van when we were little. My room overlooked the driveway so I always knew when he was leaving. Always listened and thought poor dad going so early. I personally wouldn’t say anything.

Skyla2005 · 09/02/2021 17:28

[quote soughsigh]@Jasperjosephjulian he has a sporty car, his wife's is much more sensible. I would say his wife's would cost a lot less to run, plus be a lot safer in the snow![/quote]
It's up to him to make that decision for himself not be told by his neighbour tho !!!!!

user1471538283 · 09/02/2021 17:28

As long as it's not music or shouting it wouldn't bother me. Our milkman uses to regularly wake me at 4am briefly but hes got to work. You can't expect your neighbour to use his wife's car

roxanne119 · 09/02/2021 17:43

Don’t you think that may be your kid might have woken them up all this time ! Perhaps you could get some earplugs ! My neighbour starts his gardening truck up and early o’clock in the morning but I wouldn’t dream of going round and telling him about it . If you don’t like it you move to where you don’t have neighbours 😳

Morgysmum · 09/02/2021 18:06

Wow, that's bad, I had a motorbike, which got a hole in the exhaust. It was really noisy. So I wouldn't start in on our drive, but walk it up the road away from people's houses to start it. As I had to be at work for 7,so I was setting off ay 6:30.
I get you cannot move a car like that, but you would think, if he knows its noisy, he could use his wife's till it gets fixed. He maybe doesn't know its noisy when started.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 09/02/2021 18:08

I would mention revving the engine to him as that’s completely unnecessary. Scrape the window and deal with the chilly inside until warms up.

But, nothing else you can do about him going to work at that time.

Annie202 · 09/02/2021 18:16

He may be aware that he is waking you. Could you try something subtle such as turning the lights in the house on when he starts revving the engine? Hopefully he will realise he is waking you.

Annie202 · 09/02/2021 18:16

Sorry...not be aware!

bitliketonyhares · 09/02/2021 18:20

No - you cannot ask him to take a different car to work. Try getting a white noise machine - but yabu, it's a part of life. He has to work.

FrankStory · 09/02/2021 18:21

My neighbour up the road a bit has a small wagon and when he backs it up to go to work it makes those vehicle reversing beeps - at 5.30am. So annoying. I thought I might just go round and strangle him, but instead I got to know him. I don't know if somebody else had a word with him but he seems to park it where he doesn't have to reverse it. Now, if he resumed the noise I know him well enough to be able to ask him to move the wagon down the road a few feet so he doesn't have to reverse it. I wonder if you could ask your neighbour to park a bit further away?

bitliketonyhares · 09/02/2021 18:24

Also -
"He could work from home"
Absolutely NOT your call.

"His wife doesn't need the car"
Also not your call.

You sound absolutely convinced that your neighbour driving his car to work is unreasonable. Leaving a car running in freezing cold weather is perfectly normal when defrosting! It's bloody Baltic!
You really just need to get over it - it's a car, he isn't stood out there with a megaphone or blaring music!

Angrywife · 09/02/2021 18:30

Invest in triple glazed windows?

Furngully · 09/02/2021 19:05

I had an identical issue though his times would vary throughout evening and mornings but when the car went on the whole house shook and needless to say woke everyone up. Depending on when the wake up happened often resulted in very little sleep. After a week of no sleep I mentioned to him in passing and he was mortified and completely unaware of the noise inside the house. He was fair and said he couldn't avoid starting it up but wouldnt let it sit idle any longer and drive straight off....made a massive difference.
However I did looking up and was prepared to raise a grievance with the council had he not been so willing to compromise

Emel1800 · 09/02/2021 19:06

Revving doesn’t warm an engine up. Maybe he doesn’t know that; fair to ask him not to.

Tomasinabombadil · 09/02/2021 19:20

The car isn’t a Subaru by any chance is it? I can hear the distinctive engine sound from quite a distance, one of my neighbours has one and I know when he’s leaving for work at 8:15am.

TinselTinsel · 09/02/2021 19:32

@Pippapotomus

Oh god I thought you might be my neighbour but there are no toddlers in the cul de sac! DH does this and it echos through the street.

Maybe you're my neighbour

My neighbour does this but I just forgive he's mostly deaf and tbh it means I can be noisy from time to time without worry!

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 09/02/2021 19:33

We used to have a neighbour like this .. he left a diesel van running for 10/15 mins to warm up at 4.30 am . Fucking thing was so noisy .. so bloody selfish .. we moved !!

StoneofDestiny · 09/02/2021 19:33

Has he got a hole in the exhaust? No car should be that loud.

sabbii · 09/02/2021 19:35

to all the haters out there you really do not not know what is it is like to have a neighbour with a very loud car. Mine has a stonking huge V10 engine and every time they start it up everyone can hear even those I am on calls with. Sure it's their choice but it feels so inconsiderate. In a ultra quiet street it is so disturbing. I feel for OP to put up with that on a constant basis

unmarkedbythat · 09/02/2021 19:46

"Haters"

AllMyPrettyOnes · 09/02/2021 19:47

@unmarkedbythat

"Haters"

purplevamp · 09/02/2021 19:55

My NDN leaves his engine running for what seems like ages at stupid o'clock in the morning. It wakes me up every time. It can sometimes go on for about 5-10 minutes. A couple of times I have gone downstairs, opened the door and just "looked out". He has apologised once to my husband about waking me up but he still does it every so often. And on top of that he has a car repair business that he does on his driveway. So engines can be revving all day sometimes. And because I'm working from home a lot it's super annoying. So no, you are not being unreasonable.

cansu · 09/02/2021 20:14

So basically he has woken you at this time once on a very cold morning where he obviously would need to defrost his car. No you would be very unreasonable to complain and ask him to use a different car. This comes under the category of normal noise when you live near others.

Thefaceofboe · 09/02/2021 20:36

You can’t tell him to take his wife’s car to work. Haha Jesus

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