Neighbour waking us at 4.50

[soughsigh]

My neighbour has a really noisy car. He usually leaves for work at around 6.15 and wakes us all up then. For the last 4 years, we haven't said anything (especially since the toddler has been struggling with early starts for the last year so we're all up before then anyway). I don't know if it wakes any of the other neighbours up, our bedroom is quite close to their drive but you'd think it would wake the other side up too.

This morning be left for work at 4.50. It's really cold so he spent a few minutes revving the engine to warm it up faster. Needless to say he woke the whole house, and for once the toddler hadn't woken at 4.30.

Do I knock on the door and politely ask if he could take his wife's car to work if he starts before 6? She doesn't use it to get to work, it usually sits on the driveway during the day.

I'm genuinely torn here.
yabu - no don't say anything
Yunbu - your neighbour shouldn't be waking everyone before 5

Sorry if I can't reply quickly, I have a wide awake toddler to deal with.

Suckish situation. But you dont have the right to tell him which car he takes to work. Mayb offer urs? Thatd b more reasonable than asking him to take his wifes car.
If ur relationship is good with them though mayb bring it up in humour if not then dont say anything.

Any idea what his job is. It does not seem to be a job where he could wfh, but worth checking. And if it was a one-off at 4.50 my view would be different from if it is every morning.

Exactly!

I would politely say something; my DH leaves for work at 6am and he tries to be quiet as it’s just common courtesy. I’m often awake when he leaves and there’s a neighbour who leaves their car running for a good 5+ Minutes to warm it up (as in nkt to defrost but to warm it inside) and it drives me crazy but luckily doesn’t wake our DC but it does keep me awake amd DH mentioned it to him and he was completely oblivious to the idea it might disturb people and has since stopped

I would suggest earplugs. I don’t think you can suggest which car he drives to work

Dh has got a loud car and sometimes leaves early in the morning. He is careful to not put his foot down till hes well clear off the street.

It's life noise, yes it's annoying but you can't suggest he take a quieter car. My ndn has a motor bike, it drives me mad. But, we know when we next move to factor in if we want to be so close to neighbors.

I would be a bit passive aggressive about it - I’d tell them that I was woken up by the car revving and thought it was being stolen. So glad to realise that he was just revving the engine. Hahaha.

It is probably not the best option but it is the first thing that comes to mind. Do you think that would work?

I'm afraid this fall's into the category of "I've got a young child and everything needs to fall into line for them" which just isn't how the world work

This. Asking 'politely' is still going to leave a sour taste

It’s a difficult one. My DH was a taxi driver and left home at 5.30 most mornings. When it was cold he would try to get the car off our drive/out of our cul de sac as quickly and quietly as possible then once round the corner would park up and get the car fully ready.

It’s ridiculously and unusually cold this morning so you probably had it worse than normal. I’d wait and see if the 4.50 was a one off, and go to bed as soon as your toddler does tonight, just to catch up. I do sympathise as I went through a phase of my toddler being woken each morning at 5.45 by a bloke picking up a neighbour and sitting outside his house beeping his horn repeatedly until the neighbour came out. I did speak to said neighbour and the bloke stopped doing it.

Is his car noisy because it’s old/just designed to be noisy or is he a twit who has souped it up with a loud exhaust? I can hear my neighbour 5 mins before he gets home and 5 mins after he leaves! Thankfully he works sensible hours. But his is noisy due to exhaust about 3x the normal size which I’m sure is illegal.

@3rdNamechange

It's a bit of a pain getting woken up but YABU he's going to work. It's staggering you'd think it was ok to ask a neighbour to take a different car.

This.

I get that other people's noise is a pain in the arse but telling him vehicle to use would be unbelievably stickybeakish and controlling. If you do this they will be really pissed off.

I had a neighbour who was constantly on my case about noise and sending text messages to ask me to close my door more quietly, not use my hairdryer after 10pm etc. It created serious resentment: I started to really loathe the feeling that she was someone I needed permission from to do anything.

Noise is to some extent part of modern life and you have to woman up and deal with this sometimes. It's reasonable to expect people to be considerate about it but you can't ask people to stop living their lives.

No you can’t say anything! It’s up to him what car he drives and he can’t help what time he has to start work.

It would be reasonable to ask him not to rev the engine at that time. Not reasonable to ask him to drive a different car or to expect silence; car noise is part and parcel of living alongside other people.

I had noisy neighbours ( mid one bed terrace), only cat and I, could hear car doors slamming, front door being slammed on my days off and running upstairs .
When had a disagreement over a garden spur, I told them I was quite happy to wake them at 4.30am going to work, unless they chose to consider their noise.
The question is it unreasonable noise?

Revving surely makes no difference to it warming up

Of course it does, the faster the engine is turning the more work it does and the more heat is generated.

6.15am is not early, lots leave far earlier

We could be neighbours, but we are in a quiet road in a town and our noisy driver doesn’t have a daughter.
Thankfully he usually leaves for work at 8am and doesn’t drive his ridiculous man car every day.
The car is an older model of an expensive sports car with an extra loud exhaust and he too likes to run the engine for a while and Rev it before he leaves.
He is a knob, a small middle aged man with a complex, his wife is fine and so are the dc.
As he leaves at a time when you might expect to be awake we haven’t said anything, we also have a moaning neighbour in the cul de sac who I am sure would be the first to complain and maybe already has.

No you definitely can't be telling him which car to drive!
I know it's like when you have babies and toddlers sleep is crucial I get it but noise is apart of life.
Is there a back room you can switch to for the time being.
If it really bothers you so much and you get on fine I would have a lil chat but nothing confrontational.

Revving the engine of a cold car can damage it, the oil should be allowed to warm up to working temperature before the driver starts putting his/her foot down. There is no excuse for revving an engine like that in a residential area.

I was driving to work at 3am one morning and just as I went over a speed bump the rust holding the exhaust together gave way. I had to be very careful all the way into work so that I didn't wake up the entire area.

It would be unreasonable to moan about his starting his car, but if he keeps "revving the engine" as opposed to "running the engine", then it is unreasonable and I think it would wake others too.

You can’t ask them to not drive off at that time or to use a different car

You CAN tell them please no revving, as that is unnecessarily noisy

we had this for years nothing you can do.

He shouldn't be revving the engine, so you could ask him not to do that. But I don't think you can really ask him not to use his own car.

Eek, a difficult one! My brother stayed with us for a while and he had a Harley Davidson, so I remember what it was like to wake up at 5am every morning when he left for work.

I would just have a really polite word with him and ask him if there's anything he can do to reduce the noise in the mornings. They might decide to swap cars themselves. Also check that your windows are as efficient as can be.