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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour waking us at 4.50

235 replies

soughsigh · 08/02/2021 05:20

My neighbour has a really noisy car. He usually leaves for work at around 6.15 and wakes us all up then. For the last 4 years, we haven't said anything (especially since the toddler has been struggling with early starts for the last year so we're all up before then anyway). I don't know if it wakes any of the other neighbours up, our bedroom is quite close to their drive but you'd think it would wake the other side up too.

This morning be left for work at 4.50. It's really cold so he spent a few minutes revving the engine to warm it up faster. Needless to say he woke the whole house, and for once the toddler hadn't woken at 4.30.

Do I knock on the door and politely ask if he could take his wife's car to work if he starts before 6? She doesn't use it to get to work, it usually sits on the driveway during the day.

I'm genuinely torn here.
yabu - no don't say anything
Yunbu - your neighbour shouldn't be waking everyone before 5

Sorry if I can't reply quickly, I have a wide awake toddler to deal with.

OP posts:
Goldieloxx · 08/02/2021 10:47

Very inconsiderate, can't he fix the car so it's not as noisy or if he has another quieter car, he should use that. It's what I would do, I'd be so embarrassed to wake the whole street up, I'd mention it

dontdisturbmenow · 08/02/2021 10:47

If you want silence, move to the countryside
Being woken up by roosters at 5am all through the summer is much worse!

Also,moving next to retired people. Ours get their newspaper delivered at 5am everyday. We get the heavy brakes, door slammed once, then again, then the revving out as were on a slope.

It's life and if it wakes be up, I turn and get back to sleep...most of the time!

Goldieloxx · 08/02/2021 10:50

Also, not sure if it is the case here but cars that are modified to be noisy above a certain level are actually illegal, not suggesting you report it to the police, but I'm always surprised at how much people are happy to suffer the actions of selfish neighbours because they are too embarrassed to mention it

BeastOfBODMAS · 08/02/2021 10:54

The issue is not the time he leaves for work, it’s the choice of car.

Can you let him know that at 4.50am he is alerting the whole street to his mid life crisis/micro penis. Did he want you to get some flyers done up in case 2 streets away didn’t get the message?

Appeal to his pride in his stupid car and tell him it sounds broken and shit. Get a different exhaust/manifold/whatever, yours sounds like a bag of spanners. Pop your head out the window and offer to ring the AA.

In a ha ha banter kind of way, hit him where it hurts. Poor creature is probably delusional and thinks he’s really cool. You’d be doing his wife a favour to bring him down a peg or two.

(I’m not against all sports cars, I have one, it’s not modified or particularly loud and I leave for work at 8.30. I would not keep it if I was coming and going at unsociable hours )

MaggieFS · 08/02/2021 11:05

Was today the first time this has happened? I think you need to give it at least one more day.

If it's revving not idling, I think it's fair to ask that he doesn't rev the engine.

morninglive · 08/02/2021 11:09

Tell him revving up a cold engine could damage it. Then mention how noisy it is so early.

BooBahBoo · 08/02/2021 11:11

YABU. If you live near people you have to accept some level of noise. The only reason it bothers you is because your child doesn’t sleep well and unfortunately that isn’t his problem.

You need to look at ways to block out noise from your child’s room because it sounds like as much as a breeze would wake them and you can’t expect everyone in the area to tip toe around until 9am.

I understand it’s shit. I used to be fuming when next door’s dog woke my child when it went out for a pee at 11pm, or when fireworks went off for 3 weeks over Halloween. I can’t tell people how to live, though. Just got to deal.

MaeveDidIt · 08/02/2021 11:13

He's ignorant.
The least he could have done was let it idle to get warm, not start revving it up at that time of the morning.

sunflowertulip · 08/02/2021 11:14

I'd ask him not to rev it but not to take a different car. My husband takes his car to work at that time in the morning and we have our reasons for which car he takes even though I rarely use the other car at the moment. Revving is avoidable though.

Whyyyyyythough · 08/02/2021 11:15

You sound like quite the curtain twitcher Confused

Do you have a notebook and pen by the window?

saraclara · 08/02/2021 11:16

I'd give it another day or two. If it looks like setting off at that time is going to be a regular thing, I'd point out nicely to him, that he's waking you all up, and ask if he could avoid revving if possible. You could always say that his car seems to be particularly noisy.

Definitely don't suggest him taking the other car. You'll lose any goodwill by seeming controlling.

saraclara · 08/02/2021 11:17

@Whyyyyyythough

You sound like quite the curtain twitcher Confused

Do you have a notebook and pen by the window?

Really? At 4:50 am you think OP's frustration at being woken up is akin to curtain twitching?
NoProblem123 · 08/02/2021 11:25

I’m childish and don’t like confrontation.

Get your car out at 3:30am and rev away until they get the message.

Noise is a part of life. Cars revving at 4:30am is not.

VintageStitchers · 08/02/2021 11:25

I’d definitely ask him to stop revving the car and maybe explain that you’ve read it causes more harm to his engine revving a cold engine as this is a fact, especially on older cars.

Revving the car doesn't warm it up quicker but it will potentially cause damage as the oil will be thicker when it’s very cold outside and it needs gentle driving initially to warm it up to optimum running temperature.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/02/2021 11:27

I thought MN was against idling cars to de ice them? People have definitely been piled on before for suggesting they do it.

DynamoKev · 08/02/2021 11:32

@CeefBurry

I hate noisy people. I will get flamed but nothing pisses me off more than other peoples noise.

It's an awkward one really to be honest.
It's absolutely unreasonable at 4.30 in the morning to be revving up the engine but at the same time, he's going to work.
Not sure what to suggest really to be honest op but I feel for you.

No flaming from me - I hate noisy people too.

I especially hate the current trend for ridiculously loud car exhausts and the added backfire which is fucking startling when you're not expecting it.

The ONLY reason for these twatty exhausts is "look at me". The ONLY reason.

Dunno where you are, but I recently saw a Youtube vid made by a modified car fan where he talked to a Police Officer from Devon and Cornwall Police who said they would deal with anyone with an after market exhaust that makes the car louder than standard.

HighSpecWhistle · 08/02/2021 11:32

If he was driving a souped up fiesta with a massive engine then I'd say YANBU.

But if he's driving a normal car, albeit a sports car, then unfortunately I think YABU.

Is there anyway to sound proof more? Which sports car is it? I find it a bit surprising it wakes you all up, are you light sleepers? Only I'm pretty sure I'd sleep through that.

Do you keep your windows shut?

DynamoKev · 08/02/2021 11:33

@Whyyyyyythough

You sound like quite the curtain twitcher Confused

Do you have a notebook and pen by the window?

The curtains wouldn't be twitching if they weren't being woken up by a cunt and his noise.
Springersrock · 08/02/2021 11:35

@Whyyyyyythough

You sound like quite the curtain twitcher Confused

Do you have a notebook and pen by the window?

What? Being annoyed at being woken before 5am by your neighbours very loud car is curtain twitching?

Tbh, if the car in question is anything like my neighbour’s is not just the sound of a revving engine - it’s really fucking loud when it’s started up and even louder if you rev it - I’d be pissed off at being woken up before 5am by it.

There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s only a couple of years old and I doubt there’s anything illegal or modified about it, it’s just the way it is.

It’s one of these www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/motoring/car-reviews/lets-ear-fabulous-sounding-jaguar-13021292.amp where according to this, having an engine that’s loud enough to wake the dead is considered a good thing Hmm

Luckily, my neighbour doesn’t behave like an anti-social, inconsiderate dickhead by revving the bollocks off it before 5am

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 08/02/2021 11:37

He should be considerate enough to avoid reviing the engine and not slam the doors and make unnecessary noise

but no, you can't ask him to take another car

and he needs time to clear his windscreen, he cannot drive blind with a frosty/snowy windscreen.

If he was just faffing around, listen to the radio but could safely drive, he would be an arse. When he has no other choice, there's nothing you can do unfortunately.

PeggyHill · 08/02/2021 11:40

I think asking him not to sit on the driveway revving the engine is fine. That is really twatty behaviour during unsociable hours. I would assume he hasn't thought about how loud it is, and if he has then he's a prick.

All the other stuff is a big fat no. You can't ask him to take his wife's car to work, nor can you ask him to change the time he leaves at or to switch to WFH or whatever else. You will sound ridiculous and overbearing.

caligulascatharsis · 08/02/2021 11:42

I'm really very amused that you would even consider having a quiet word and ask him to use his wife's car to get to work. I don't think I would be able to find the words to respond if a neighbour asked me this question. If he is revving his car a bit, that is annoying, granted. But you did say that this was only on one occasion, this morning. If I was trying to scrape the ice off my car windows first thing in the morning, stressed and freezing on my way to work, and someone told me that my running of the engine was annoying them, they'd get a swift tough shit from me.

HoppingPavlova · 08/02/2021 11:46

Depends whether it’s normal noise or actual revving? Cars sound really loud in the dead of night when they are just routinely operating.

I sleep like the dead but wake up every week when our meal box is delivered between 2-6am. The delivery van makes standard car noise but any car going up our street in the dead of night seems loud and seems to wake everyone. From the bedroom I can clearly hear the car drive up the road, drivers door open, back of van open, then 60 secs later back of van close, drivers door close and them drive off. They are obviously trying to be quite, minimising door closing etc. Wakes up both sets of neighbours also. That’s life in a neighbourhood.

BloodyDarrener · 08/02/2021 11:51

Sorry but YABU. He's not doing it for ages, just long enough to unfog his windows and leave. To try to leave before that would be dangerous. Unless the car is faulty or intentionally extra noisy (with those stupid exhausts that make the boy racers cooler Hmm) he's not doing anything wrong. Now if he was starting it up and leaving it running for half an hour while he pops back in for his breakfast instead of simply scraping snow or ice of his windscreen then I could sympathise.

We did have this issue once. A man with a fucked exhaust throughout the whole winter (wouldn't have passed it's MOT) on his van used to start it up at 5am and head back inside for anything up to an hour while his motor ran and his exhaust made deafening bangs and splutters causing the whole street to wake. It got to the point that an entire street of people were standing at their doors in their dressing gowns furious, some knocking on his door to tell him to turn it off etc.
My own neighbour who had had enough got his own back. He came out in his PJs and wellies, got in and just drove off in it and parked it beside the canal away from our street. The van owner was raging. He could hear it running and exhaust spluttering in the distance so he did find it easily but he stopped doing it from then on. My neighbour came home to find a box of beers on his doorstep from someone else on the street Grin

ivykaty44 · 08/02/2021 11:52

Id go and have a chat with the neighbours, explain what is happening and that you appreciate that he works out of the home etc.

Ask them if there is a way that you can all come up with a solution/ unfortunately swapping bedrooms is out as you all get woken. The car is very noisy is there a solution (is it legal to be that noisy, but don't say that) you don't want him parking down the road as this may well effect other people.

see what they say? then ask is there any reason why on the really early mornings he can't take the quieter car? you'd really really appreciate this...