Neighbour waking us at 4.50

[soughsigh]

My neighbour has a really noisy car. He usually leaves for work at around 6.15 and wakes us all up then. For the last 4 years, we haven't said anything (especially since the toddler has been struggling with early starts for the last year so we're all up before then anyway). I don't know if it wakes any of the other neighbours up, our bedroom is quite close to their drive but you'd think it would wake the other side up too.

This morning be left for work at 4.50. It's really cold so he spent a few minutes revving the engine to warm it up faster. Needless to say he woke the whole house, and for once the toddler hadn't woken at 4.30.

Do I knock on the door and politely ask if he could take his wife's car to work if he starts before 6? She doesn't use it to get to work, it usually sits on the driveway during the day.

I'm genuinely torn here.
yabu - no don't say anything
Yunbu - your neighbour shouldn't be waking everyone before 5

Sorry if I can't reply quickly, I have a wide awake toddler to deal with.

stop should be at

My neighbour leaves at 5.40 every morning, we are in a Victorian flat on the ground floor, he wears the nosiest hard sole shoes and jumps from the 5th step then slams the front door every morning. This morning he was surprised to find his car frozen so loudly went back up the stairs to get his flat mates car to work which defrost quicker. I heard the full conversation then back down the stairs as noisy as possible with another leap at the bottom and door bang again. Oh and the other car key is in tune with our door bell so that went off as well! I work shifts but tiptoe out at 6am. Yes it's reasonable that he goes to work at that time but he doesnt have to be such an inconsiderate a hole.

I know spend my weekends passive aggressively letting the kids shout and putting the washing machine on at 7am.

This is a difficult one!

YABU to ask him to use a different car.

BUT I also think he is being a bit unreasonable leaving a noisy sporty car idling at 4.50am!

My neighbour has a double width driveway that runs along the side of my house, he took to parking his car right up against our gable end in winter presumably to shelter it a bit from freezing over. But this meant that at 5.30 every day there was a car idling for 20 minutes less that 4ft from my bedroom wall, the vibration travelled right up it and woke me up! I had a polite chat and explained how it was disturbing us and since then he has started parking on the other side of his drive (no neighbours that side) and uses de-icer so no need for it to sit idling.

Maybe a polite conversation where you explain the issue but let him decide how to deal with it? Ie, don't tell him what to do

I think you could ask him not to rev the engine, you can warm it up by just turning it on.
But anything else is a bit OTT, it's where you live cul de sacs aren't always quiet.

Perhaps his wife's car is leased, and she has limited mileage? Perhaps the car is only insured for social/domestic/pleasure, rather than commuting? Perhaps her car is not insured for him to drive at all?

So many reasons why it might not even be possible for him to use her car, even if it were reasonable for you to suggest it (which it isn't).

I agree it’s annoying OP. Like boy racer type cars that have been modified to sound noisier are absolutely atrocious! Like a crappy old banger trying to sound like a Ferrari. Rev Rev Rev, absolute nuisance.

Or when dogs are left to bark for ages in the garden. There’s no need for that at all!

People are selfish arseholes. For those saying it’s part and parcel of living on an estate, equally when buying a car with an extremely loud engine knowing you have to get in up in the middle of the night so are likely to wake your neighbours, is pretty selfish too.

Why Rev it up constantly? If it needs defrosted just leave the engine on as that wouldn’t be as loud.

YABU. He cannot be expected to change the car he chooses to drive or the hours he parks to accommodate your child's sleep habits.

Look on it as an opportunity for her to learn to self soothe back to sleep if she is woken unexpectedly. That's a great skill to have.

YABU. It's none of your business what car he drives, unless you can afford to buy him a new one.

It's bloody irritating, I agree. But your children will learn to sleep through noise they recognise

@soughsigh

Sorry, I have been toddler wrangling this morning. Surprisingly he was very cheerful!

We have a detached house, we can't hear each other when we are in the house. Neighbour noise is generally not a problem.

I thought that offering a solution is better than saying 'you are waking us all up' but clearly I am wrong there.

I am not annoyed because he's waking the toddler, I am annoyed because he is waking us all. It was more annoying being woken unnecessarily at 6.20 before I had children! At least I'm used to the early start. I couldn't get back to sleep afterwards before DS.

He works for an engineering company, so no WFH is possible. His wife is a teacher, she gets a taxi to work for some reason (the school is half an hour away!) so her car sits on the drive unused. He still sits with his engine idling for 5 minutes in the summer, we think he is choosing music to play or something.

Basically he has absolutely zero consideration.

My husband leaves for work occasionally at 5am and manages to do so without waking me up because he leaves as fast and quietly as he can. I am also hoping he doesn't disturb the neighbours either.

Pick your battles.

You sound a bit overdramatic

When I had a noisy car there's no way in hell I'd use it at such an unsociable hour and wake up my neighbours. You're NBU for suggesting that he doesn't rev his car. He may have no clue that he's waking you all up.

Hope you aren’t our neighbour. When dp is on an early shift he leaves for work early too. Usually around 5.30am. Your neighbour has to get work, I’m not sure what you can do tbh. Obviously he can make sure he’s as quiet as possible but even the quietest cars can seem noisy in silence.

I get the frustration op. But when you live in a residential area it’s to be expected. My children sleep like logs though so wouldn’t be an issue. DS sleeps through anything as we used to live in a flat in a town centre. Used to be all sorts if vehicles at night, boy racers etc.

Where we live now and a while ago there was always a noisy (not just the average noisy) motorbike driving into the village around 11pm which was quite noticeable as it’s really quiet here. It didn’t really bother me but others complained. Turned out the poor guy was working 14 hour shifts to provide for his family. He didn’t have a car and the bike was his only means of getting to work. People did sympathise after that.

Others have got there before me but the advice with most modern cars is not to let engines idle or rev before driving. Clear the windows first, then start up and drive off.

www.popularmechanics.com/cars/car-technology/a19086/warming-up-your-car-in-the-cold-just-harms-engine/

You may need to be quite tactful when you tell your sports car owning neighbour that he’s doing driving wrong

It all depends really. Some blokes have those really stupid cars with stupid exhausts that make so much noise they are an absolute noise nuisance. If it's one of those then you are absolutely not being unreasonable. Last thing anyone wants to be woken up to is a car that sounds like a plane taking off. He should excercise some common courtesy. However, if it's just an ordinary car that just runs a bit louder (like ours, it's an eco car and has these fans that seem so loud) then you are being unreasonable.
I would perhaps just mention in passing that it was loud. Leave it to him to decide what to do. If they're decent people they'll probably be embarrassed and not realised it was causing a disturbance.

Not everyone has the option of working at home and to be honest you should be thankful .
My partner was a driver's mate all thru first lock down hence the in godly hours , but I'm sure ppl would soon moan that their new TV etc were not delivered
Speaking as a former children's community nurse I'd be getting your child used to sounds , time after time I've done sleep visits for parents and they are living in silence!
Children need to adapt !

@GobletOfIre

Ask him not to rev as it’s unnecessary. You can’t ask him not to use his car.

This.

I feel for you. Our neighbour has a flagstone driveway that goes up to our bedroom and living room walls. They must have a dozen broken slabs and every single one thumps and rattles as they go over it and the sound echos under our house. It's miserable being woken up and disturbed by others, especially when you've paid for a detached for quiet. In our case it's not just the car that's woken us up in the mornings, but for the past year their kids have been jumping up and down on the broken slabs making an awful noise. Some people are really selfish. (They've also had a huge extension approved, and have lots of spare non broken slabs, so would have no problem fixing it).

Maybe you'll be lucky and if your neighbour is making the extra noise unnecessarily you can talk to them and they'll stop. I'd certainly be more mindful if something was mentioned to me and I could easily change it.

See if it happens again, then mention it - the problem that it is causing you - definitely. That's a ridiculous time to be waking people up.

It's not up to you to solve the problem for him. That would be busybodying. Just state facts and ask nicely whether there's anything he could do to ameliorate the effects on you .

Also, I've never ever had to idle a car for it to warm up. Even my 1989 banger (which was the noisy car I had, it was getting the engine to bite that was 1000 decibels) that I finally sold a year ago.

I had a neighbour that idled his car at stupid o'clock at night (2 or 3am) and that always woke me up. I was relieved when he moved.

@Gobbeldegook

It all depends really. Some blokes have those really stupid cars with stupid exhausts that make so much noise they are an absolute noise nuisance. If it's one of those then you are absolutely not being unreasonable. Last thing anyone wants to be woken up to is a car that sounds like a plane taking off. He should excercise some common courtesy. However, if it's just an ordinary car that just runs a bit louder (like ours, it's an eco car and has these fans that seem so loud) then you are being unreasonable. I would perhaps just mention in passing that it was loud. Leave it to him to decide what to do. If they're decent people they'll probably be embarrassed and not realised it was causing a disturbance.

*If it's one of those then you are absolutely not being unreasonable. Last thing anyone wants to be woken up to is a car that sounds like a plane taking off*

This ticked me 😂

YABU here I think .The chap is going to work not having a dawn rave! Can you sleep at the rear of the house? Get some earplugs/Double glaze the window? I dont think even if he took his wifes car it would really help completely .He will be pissed off at being asked I think .

Revving the engine so early in the morning is totally unacceptable.
YANBU,if you are in good terms with your neighbours ask them directly to change this ASAP.

I'm afraid this fall's into the category of "I've got a young child and everything needs to fall into line for them" which just isn't how the world work

I decided to purchase a really noisy car and do a job that starts super early. Everybody else’s needs to fall in line with my life choices, even if it means the whole street waking up at 5am every day.

We've had a similar issue recently

A guy who lives on the street opposite us (we're the end house on our street) has an old van which for some unknown reason he revs very, very hard and loud when he starts it up from cold. I think the final straw was one day at about 5:50am

I went over and spoke to him later that day. I just made him aware that I and DD have been woken a few times by him doing it

He said he does it because there's a problem with something but he's stopped doing it now. This was before Christmas

I would recommend having a chat. Sounds like he might have an aftermarket exhaust? Or maybe just a big engine etc

Not saying the OP is completely wrong, but there should be give and take. If you are up and about v.late at night (eg after 10) or v.early (before 6) you should be very considerate of other people in terms of any noise you are creating. Driving a noisy sports car to work at 5am isn’t doing that.

Why would taking wife’s car help? He will still need to de-Ice it and scrape it? Am
I missing something?