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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour waking us at 4.50

235 replies

soughsigh · 08/02/2021 05:20

My neighbour has a really noisy car. He usually leaves for work at around 6.15 and wakes us all up then. For the last 4 years, we haven't said anything (especially since the toddler has been struggling with early starts for the last year so we're all up before then anyway). I don't know if it wakes any of the other neighbours up, our bedroom is quite close to their drive but you'd think it would wake the other side up too.

This morning be left for work at 4.50. It's really cold so he spent a few minutes revving the engine to warm it up faster. Needless to say he woke the whole house, and for once the toddler hadn't woken at 4.30.

Do I knock on the door and politely ask if he could take his wife's car to work if he starts before 6? She doesn't use it to get to work, it usually sits on the driveway during the day.

I'm genuinely torn here.
yabu - no don't say anything
Yunbu - your neighbour shouldn't be waking everyone before 5

Sorry if I can't reply quickly, I have a wide awake toddler to deal with.

OP posts:
Doingitaloneandproud · 08/02/2021 07:36

The fact that your child is a light sleeper is unfortunately your problem only. It's not your neighbours issue. He is going to work, if the car needed to defrost and demist he may have needed to rev the engine gently. You live around people, you have to deal with the noise. I take my car at 4:45 in the mornings usually, my car is quite loud when the engine turns, I wouldn't not take it because someone's baby is a light sleeper. I'd never rev it but there's absolutely no way I wouldn't take it. Sorry YABU

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 08/02/2021 07:36

YANBU to ask the noisy fecker to be more considerate but I wouldn’t be suggesting what car he drives Confused

Salty2020 · 08/02/2021 07:36

Completely unreasonable.
You should be grateful you’re lying in your nice warm bed whilst your poor neighbour is up at stupid o clock in the cold to go to work! It’s really not the end of the world, and the world doesn’t revolve around your toddler, sorry.

Cloudybeanie · 08/02/2021 07:37

I can see why it's annoying, but he is going to work, in this weather it does usually take a bit of turning the engine to warm it up, and time to clear the windscreen etc. Even if you said it was irritating, what are you expecting them to do?

ScrapThatThen · 08/02/2021 07:39

He is not being unreasonable starting his own car outside his own house. A complaint is unreasonable.

Thebusiness · 08/02/2021 07:41

It takes me ages to de-ice my car on a day like this so I don’t think you can complain about that. Can’t see why he is revving though.

My next door neighbours get up at 5am and leave at 6am and I cannot understand why they need to go up and down the stairs so many times in the morning. I go down for breakfast and back up, get ready and leave so once up and down the stairs and I hear them constantly, about twenty times, up and down, so I am awake the same time as them.

AuntieMarysCanary · 08/02/2021 07:41

@Ifailed

Revving surely makes no difference to it warming up

Of course it does, the faster the engine is turning the more work it does and the more heat is generated.

Revving a car when it's cold is bad for the engine.

It's a myth that is helps to warm the car up.

AuntieMarysCanary · 08/02/2021 07:42

Just talk to them OP.

I'm always shocked at posters on MN who seem to live in some parallel universe where we have to tolerate people being inconsiderate.

The truth is he probably doesn't realise how noisy it is for you.

AuntieMarysCanary · 08/02/2021 07:43

@ScrapThatThen

He is not being unreasonable starting his own car outside his own house. A complaint is unreasonable.
But it is UR to do it at 4 am!

And to sit there revving.

Whyistheteacold · 08/02/2021 07:44

Umm... Op do we live on the same street? 😂

Godimabitch · 08/02/2021 07:46

Yeah you really cant tell someone what car to drive because your child is a light sleeper. I'm sure he'd rather not be going to work in the freezing cold at that time, sometimes you need to rev the engine to warm it up so the blowers aren't just blowing cold air at the windscreen fogging it up, he can't drive off if his window isn't clear and he can't sit there with it running for ages either. Its one of those, you have neighbours, you will hear them going about their life, situations.
I'm gonna guess they've been woken or disturbed by your child noise a few times too.

BillieSpain · 08/02/2021 07:47

It could well be that they have put up with your DC for years and now really don't give a shit that your DC has decided to sleep slightly longer.

A child crying is far, far worse than someone going to work on an absoluutely unusually FREEZING cold day.

PrimeraVez · 08/02/2021 07:51

I feel your pain.

Our NDN wakes early for work (5ish) and their shower is obviously against the same wall as my 2yr olds bed. Every morning when he runs the shower, my DC wakes up with the plumbing clanking and then rarely goes back to sleep.

I just accept it as one of those things and then feel a little less guilty when my kids are screaming in the garden!

OhSoScared · 08/02/2021 07:54

@DdraigGoch

Revving the engine of a cold car can damage it, the oil should be allowed to warm up to working temperature before the driver starts putting his/her foot down. There is no excuse for revving an engine like that in a residential area.

I was driving to work at 3am one morning and just as I went over a speed bump the rust holding the exhaust together gave way. I had to be very careful all the way into work so that I didn't wake up the entire area.

This.

Your not meant to rev a cold car. I would be pissed of with the revving because its inconsiderate. If he is starting his car and waiting for it to defrost then fair enough but revving it at that time in the morning is selfish.

Ideasplease322 · 08/02/2021 07:58

Don’t suggest he takes his wife’s car. It will come across as patronising.

If it happens again, go out at silly o’clock while he is revving the car. Tell him nicely he woke the whole house and ask if can be quieter in the future.

pictish · 08/02/2021 07:58

Oh my goodness, you cannot ask him to drive his wife’s car to work instead. That’s a crazy neighbour request. He would just Hmm at you.

Sorry to say I think the revving of the car is just something you’ll have to deal with in the winter.

SaltyTootsieToes · 08/02/2021 07:59

You can warm your car without reviving the engine. That is what you need to ask - to please not rev the engine early in the morning.

Asking he takes his wife’s car is unreasonable.

Usual car noise going to work is not unreasonable, just like your child making noise at 4:30 am (which is likely why they’ve not said anything).

luxxlisbon · 08/02/2021 08:00

Your child being a light sleeper isn’t your neighbour’s problem. It’s not as if the guy is up all night having parties, he’s going to work and it was icy so he had to run the car for a few minutes before using. He obviously uses the car that suits him, asking him to swap cars it so weird and completely unreasonable.
I’m sure your house makes a certain amount of noise while he goes to bed at 8pm but he knows he can’t except the world to change their schedule just because he works early.

Ileflottante · 08/02/2021 08:08

@maddiemookins16mum

Revving surely makes no difference to it warming up.
Of course it does. Very basically revving it turns it over quicker, which in turn generates heat, which he’s probably using to defrost his windows and warm himself up on his early start.
violetbunny · 08/02/2021 08:11

@AuntieMarysCanary

Just talk to them OP.

I'm always shocked at posters on MN who seem to live in some parallel universe where we have to tolerate people being inconsiderate.

The truth is he probably doesn't realise how noisy it is for you.

Yes, this. He may have no idea you can hear it (or maybe it's too early in the morning for his brain to be functioning... I know mine doesn't 😂). Just let him know it's waking you and ask if there's anything he might be able to do to keep the noise to a minimum.
Lovemusic33 · 08/02/2021 08:13

What do you expect him to do? He has to go to work, he has to start his car and when it’s cold he needs to defrost his car before driving it?

I have a neighbour who does the same, yes it can be annoying but I wouldn’t go and complain, I feel sorry for him having to get up in the cold and go to work at 4am, especially at the weekend. There’s not much else he can do to make less noise.

Neron · 08/02/2021 08:13

I share your frustration, but I think it's noise we just have to put up with.
My neighbours regularly sit in their cars with the engine running to keep the battery going, instead of going for a drive. They do this between 4.30am - 5am and often on a Sunday morning. It's right next to my bedroom as we are in bungalows.

LakieLady · 08/02/2021 08:14

@Jonnywishbone

Have you got good windows? We changed our single glazing to triple glazing and I got a much better night's sleep after.
This! I had my single-glazed windows replaced just before Christmas. It seems so quiet now, I have to keep looking out the window for signs of life. I can't believe the difference it's made, I don't hear most cars even when they park right outside the house.

Now I just have to resolve whatever it is that makes my adjoining neighbour run water for over an hour or more between 4 & 5 am a couple of mornings a week...

nancywhitehead · 08/02/2021 08:16

[quote soughsigh]@Jasperjosephjulian he has a sporty car, his wife's is much more sensible. I would say his wife's would cost a lot less to run, plus be a lot safer in the snow![/quote]
YABU. Especially suggesting he takes his wife's car. It's really none of your business which car he chooses to drive.

Noise like this is just a part of life and he's just going to work. If this is the only issue you have with your neighbours count yourself lucky!

TastyTicklemore · 08/02/2021 08:19

From the OP this sounds like specific set of circumstances:

  • neighbour normally leaves at 6.15, but this morning it was 4.50am
  • toddler normally wakes at 4.30, anyway, but didn't this morning
  • it is very cold, so the car took some warming up

I'd just put it down to bad luck, that they all collided at once.