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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To use the word "guys" to refer to people

201 replies

AliceAbsolum · 07/02/2021 19:22

When referring to a mix of gendered people is there anything wrong with saying:

"Hey guys"

"Nice one guys"

"Guys, shall we catch up soon"?

Is it sexist against women? I don't know what opinion to have, so wise vipers please tell me your thoughts.

OP posts:
Nogardenersworld · 08/02/2021 16:43

To me your question is the same as saying Is there a problem saying police men? Or Firemen? As a term for all fire fighters and police officers?

It’s something that I have often done as they’re common terms, but something I try to remind myself not to do.

Saying guys for people who are not guys isn’t ideal IMO

However I don’t take offence at it if someone else does as clearly people are not intending to cause offence when they say it.

Marley20 · 08/02/2021 16:46

@tanstaafl

^^For those who think nothing of using it , see no problem,

Do you also think TWAW ?

No, am not sure I see your point?

SeeyouontheothersideofCovid · 08/02/2021 16:46

Well let's try an experiment.

When you're next addressing a mixed group, why not call them 'gals' - (the partner term for guy)?

Do you think the men would like that?

Slippy78 · 08/02/2021 16:50

Doesn't bother me but I tend to use 'folks' just in case someone else gets offended.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 08/02/2021 16:53

it’s male as default human so I try to avoid

Ask a straight male how many guys he’s slept with...

Wanderlust20 · 08/02/2021 16:55

I'm 35, I say it all the time. Think it's a generational thing!

Stripesnomore · 08/02/2021 16:57

I just find it strange because we had a couple of decades where we seemed to stop using male as the default, then guys came in about a decade ago and we are back to the seventies.

I suppose that has been the case with a lot of feminism though. We made great strides and now much has gone backwards.

unmarkedbythat · 08/02/2021 16:57

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

I suppose you should replace it with "human beings", or "earth inhabitants", or something even more ridiculous.
Or you could say people, folks, everyone, team, colleagues, kids, etc, depending on context.

I don't use "guys" because my mum was against it (not because of sexism, but she was painfully snobby about some things and thought it dreadfully American Hmm) and have never had trouble coming up with a term for a group I am addressing that is neither gendered nor ridiculous.

AliceAbsolum · 08/02/2021 17:01

@New2Myself

Firstly what's "a mix of gendered people"? Do you mean people of both sexes? As for whether it's acceptable to call males and females guys, I personally don't like it, guys are males aren't they? I feel it's lazy, I say people to a group, "ok people, let's...blah blah" Guys always seemed a bit American to me, I don't say it, it seems awkward. I thought it was maybe an age or generational thing but plenty of people my age say guys, usually the ones who try to be cool.
Mix of genders as in male, female, non binary ..... Whatever else I've missed off!
OP posts:
AliceAbsolum · 08/02/2021 17:02

@Wanderlust20

I'm 35, I say it all the time. Think it's a generational thing!
"late millennial" I'm also 35.
OP posts:
AliceAbsolum · 08/02/2021 17:02

@SeeyouontheothersideofCovid

Well let's try an experiment.

When you're next addressing a mixed group, why not call them 'gals' - (the partner term for guy)?

Do you think the men would like that?

My thoughts exactly
OP posts:
Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 08/02/2021 17:03

Or you could say people, folks, everyone, team, colleagues, kids, etc, depending on context.

Half of those sound ridiculous, the other half patronising. You are free to use whatever you prefer, I stick to "guys".

I am not starting writing to a group of friends starting with "hi friends" Grin or "hi female friends"!

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 08/02/2021 17:04

When you're next addressing a mixed group, why not call them 'gals' - (the partner term for guy)?

Do you think the men would like that?

Women won't like it either, so that's a moot point.

LegoLegs · 08/02/2021 17:05

I am in my 40s and say it all the time.

emmathedilemma · 08/02/2021 17:05

Doesn't bother me at all.

HotPenguin · 08/02/2021 17:06

No I don't use the term guys, definitely not at work as it is sexist and excludes women present.

334bu · 08/02/2021 17:07

Could always use the Scots " Hey yous ! " Or just simply use " everybody"and not tie yourself up in knots.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/02/2021 17:09

I don't mind it and it has gotten to be more or less gender neutral however I can see other peoples arguments too that if we started addressing a mixed group as "gals" for example the men would be offended because it such an insult to them, I do get that

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 08/02/2021 17:12

Why are some posters so scared of being confused with males?
😂

Not once has that ever happened, or could have happened to any woman I know, at work or any other place!

"guys" is fine. I don't like being one of the "mates" at work personally, but I wouldn't take offence either.

peak2021 · 08/02/2021 17:12

I don't like it simply because it is a term from the USA, and I want us to keep our own language not become the 51st state.

SeeyouontheothersideofCovid · 08/02/2021 17:13

*When you're next addressing a mixed group, why not call them 'gals' - (the partner term for guy)?

Do you think the men would like that?

Women won't like it either, so that's a moot point.*

But when you look at several comments on here, a lot of women don't like 'guys' either. I don't think either term is appropriate for addressing a group of people.

As some others have already pointed out, it's also over-familiar too and often done by strangers. For those who say they use the term and don't think there is a problem with it, maybe try asking the group of people if they're happy with it rather than just making assumptions?

After all, if it's now correct to refer to police officers / firefighters versus policemen and firemen, why is it so hard to understand that some of us find the use of guys offensive?

Marylou2 · 08/02/2021 17:15

It's fine. Sounds inclusive and informal.

Frogartist · 08/02/2021 17:40

@Marylou2

It's fine. Sounds inclusive and informal.
How is it inclusive? Is "hi girls" inclusive?
unmarkedbythat · 08/02/2021 17:54

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

Or you could say people, folks, everyone, team, colleagues, kids, etc, depending on context.

Half of those sound ridiculous, the other half patronising. You are free to use whatever you prefer, I stick to "guys".

I am not starting writing to a group of friends starting with "hi friends" Grin or "hi female friends"!

You sound like someone who would benefit from a thesaurus.

I am not starting writing to a group of friends starting with "hi friends" or "hi female friends"!

Hi all? Hi everyone?

Cpl415642 · 08/02/2021 18:15

I stopped using guys a while ago...mainly because I worked with mainly women and it sounded ridiculous saying it to group of women!

But now even though I'm in a different job I don't use guys anymore. I used folks, friends, everyone - just more inclusive it's nicer

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