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AIBU?

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Original poster

To use the word "guys" to refer to people

201 replies

AliceAbsolum · 07/02/2021 19:22

When referring to a mix of gendered people is there anything wrong with saying:

"Hey guys"

"Nice one guys"

"Guys, shall we catch up soon"?

Is it sexist against women? I don't know what opinion to have, so wise vipers please tell me your thoughts.

OP posts:
BaggoMcoys · 08/02/2021 12:54

There isn't really a word for a group of women except "girls" or "ladies" and I don't like to say "girls" unless I'm talking about children. I have never said "ladies", it's just not something I say. I don't like "guys" when it's said in a certain chirpy way - I can't really explain but there's a certain way that irritates me. We used "guys" or "dudes" all the time at my all girls school and it didn't bother me at the time, but I don't say either of them now. I really don't like how many people now say "folks" - especially if they also use the word "super" a lot. It makes me cringe.

Trying to think of a group setting or group email, I'd say "hi everyone" usually. "What does everyone want to drink?" "Is everyone ready to order?"

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/02/2021 12:55

I think it’s fine and have always used it.
Ds calls me and ds “guys” a lot which makes me laugh. He often calls me “dude” as well Grin He’s only 6 though.

Glitterandunicorns · 08/02/2021 12:59

It's not a term that should be used to refer to a group. For those who identify as a different sex than they were assigned at birth, it can be tantamount to misgendering, and can be very distressing.

I don't understand why people don't get it tbh. I appreciate I am pretty liberal, but if there's a risk of causing someone upset, why not just use a different term? Folks, team, friends, whatever.

There are so many people who think that because it's very commonly used across the world to refer to a group, that it's fine to use the term and if you're upset by it, then you're a snowflake. It's such a cliche now, but let's be kind and consider others.

BaggoMcoys · 08/02/2021 13:23

@Glitterandunicorns

It's not a term that should be used to refer to a group. For those who identify as a different sex than they were assigned at birth, it can be tantamount to misgendering, and can be very distressing.

I don't understand why people don't get it tbh. I appreciate I am pretty liberal, but if there's a risk of causing someone upset, why not just use a different term? Folks, team, friends, whatever.

There are so many people who think that because it's very commonly used across the world to refer to a group, that it's fine to use the term and if you're upset by it, then you're a snowflake. It's such a cliche now, but let's be kind and consider others.

What about people who find it offensive or upsetting to hear "sex assigned at birth" used in this context, given that the majority of us do not have a sex assigned at birth? Or people who don't believe in "misgendering" because they believe humans do not have an innate gender? You are not being considerate of those people when you speak this way, so it's a bit pot and kettle.
AnotherVice · 08/02/2021 13:45

I should probably have added that dh who offered the tea to the elderly couple is actually American.

YoniAndGuy · 08/02/2021 13:47

I don't think of guys as male.

I use it for my children and in mixed groups all the time. I use it in all women groups.

SpiceRat · 08/02/2021 13:48

Guys in this situation refers to all sexes according to the online Cambridge Dictionary

To use the word "guys" to refer to people
lottiegarbanzo · 08/02/2021 13:55

Pps referring to 'balls deep' being used at work, how and in what context? I cannot imagine it!

I've only ever heard this expression used to refer to sex, usually in a derogatory way e.g. to convey that someone was having an affair. It's very crude.

Spodge · 08/02/2021 14:27

It's not sexist, but I think it's grim.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 08/02/2021 14:36

@SpiceRat

Guys in this situation refers to all sexes according to the online Cambridge Dictionary
So guy refers to a man

But the plural of guy can mean women

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 08/02/2021 14:37

I don’t actually believe that 😀

Just clarifying

Singular English is man, plural is men

But not for guy...

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 08/02/2021 15:02

The training session that started with the trainer saying "hiya peeps" did instantly make me think it was going to be a long day.

Balls deep and ballache should not be used in a professional environment.

poppyzbrite4 · 08/02/2021 15:14

Had nothing but this shit in the 90s with the fucking ladettes. You're such a girrrrllll if you're not into lapdancing and pissing in the street. Don't be such a girrrl. We're all one of the lads no different to the guyyyys. Look at me with a copy of FHM and a pint, overcompensating because of my internalised misogyny. I'm sooo cool, one of the guyyyys.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 08/02/2021 15:16

I use it at work to refer directly to a group of people of any mix of genders (Hi guys, thanks guys etc)

As a woman using it with teams which are generally majority female I find it hard to get worked up about. To me it’s just an informal way of greeting a group.

campion · 08/02/2021 16:17

@Bubbinsmakesthree

I use it at work to refer directly to a group of people of any mix of genders (Hi guys, thanks guys etc)

As a woman using it with teams which are generally majority female I find it hard to get worked up about. To me it’s just an informal way of greeting a group.

Have you ever asked the group, individually, how they feel about it?
CounsellorTroi · 08/02/2021 16:20

Fine.

SeeyouontheothersideofCovid · 08/02/2021 16:29

I hate it. 'Guys' means males and therefore is not suitable for a mixed group but it often gets used for that and for couples.

Especially hate it when people address me and my husband as 'you guys'. There are plenty of alternatives eg 'you both' or 'everyone' etc.

The problem with the English language that, unlike others, we do not have a version of 'you' that distinguishes between a single person and more than one person. For example, French has 'tu' (singular) and 'vous' (plural) - whereas English just has 'you.'

Also in French (to confuse things a bit here), the 'vous' version can be used for a single person as a way of denoting respect, eg children addressing grownups (not family!) would say 'vous' rather than 'tu'. I actually think sometimes that would be quite nice if we could it in English.

JaninaDuszejko · 08/02/2021 16:30

It's male as default, women don't matter.

If medical literature that is exclusively aimed at women talks about pregnant people or people with cervixes or menstrating people to avoid offending transmen and transwomen then why is it so fucking hard to avoid saying 'guys' when addressing a mixed group of people to avoid offending . I am not a guy. Use everyone, people, colleagues, team, folks, children, students, or one of the many terms that includes everyone (see what I did there? Easy isn't it).

SeeyouontheothersideofCovid · 08/02/2021 16:33

So agree, Janina.

unmarkedbythat · 08/02/2021 16:35

It irritates me. Why are male terms the default? No mixed gender group would take well to "hi girls", why is "hi guys" any different? Trying to get this across to people is a right ovary ache though.

BarryFromEastenders · 08/02/2021 16:37

Tanstaafl, in case it helps, I both think TWAW and object to being called “guys”, especially and particularly by men. It’s simple casual universalising masculinisation that basically harks back to a time when workforces were all-male. Not ok with me! Maybe we share some common feminist ground.

Aethelthryth · 08/02/2021 16:38

It's awful. I'm a woman, not a "guy". It's also over-familiar

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 08/02/2021 16:40

It's male as default, women don't matter.

It's 2021, it's no longer true at all. No need to try to find offence in absolutely everything.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 08/02/2021 16:42

I suppose you should replace it with "human beings", or "earth inhabitants", or something even more ridiculous.

Marley20 · 08/02/2021 16:42

Gosh it's amazing how many people really need a hobby if this is what you get worked up about! Can't see any issues with using it have done for years and it's never been considered a gendered term.