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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For thinking what's the fucking point anymore?

257 replies

SapphireSeptember · 07/02/2021 16:01

"You shouldn't say that because you don't know what people are going though!"
Which is what a woman said to me when I asked her to pull up her mask yesterday. Right back at you. How the fuck does she think me and my colleagues feel having to deal with Covidiots like her on a daily basis? (I work in a supermarket.) She had her nose sticking out and kept pulling her mask away from her face, but because she's struggling and trying her best (so am I) that makes it acceptable? She didn't say she was exempt, and honestly if you're wearing a mask wear the damned thing properly! I then overheard her say 'How dare she say that to me?" to one of my colleagues in a really angry voice. I couldn't have been more fucking polite about it if I'd tried!
(I wish I'd said what I was thinking, that I dare because I'm more scared of getting Covid and dying from it than I am of shitty customers, but that might not have helped.)
I'm getting to the stage where I just want to lock myself in my house and refuse to come out until this is all over. I'm having panic attacks, my mental health is shot, and I don't feel like I can do this anymore. I'm also autistic and find certain things hard to cope with. The only reason I go to work is because I work with some lovely people who are keeping me sane at the moment.

Added to that the two women I was working with yesterday were agreeing with her. I spoke to my manager who confirmed I'd done the right thing, and when I told them that they got shirty with me too.

Then there was the fuckwit I dealt with on Friday. Again, I asked him to pull his mask up over his nose. "I don't think so' he said, and pulled one of those sunflower lanyards out of his shirt. Apparently he's exempt because he's autistic, but chooses to wear a mask. (See above, I was also standing next to a colleague of mine who's autistic.) I couldn't quite believe it, either wear one or don't, they don't work if your nose is sticking out, he was with a young woman who was wearing hers properly and another bloke who also had his nose sticking out. (I've noticed in my area it's men who are more likely to want to share their germs with everyone else.)

Then there are the people who walk in without wearing one at all, I was doing my shopping after work and three people, not a mask among them. I asked them if they had masks, the two women pulled theirs out and the bloke said he didn't have one, but of course he didn't bother going to where we keep the spare ones, he just carried on walking along. Twat.

OP posts:
Moonface123 · 07/02/2021 17:36

I also work in a supermarket, but l would not personally question why someone is not wearing a mask, like l wouldn't question why people are shopping together either because for all l know they may have a valid reason.
From my own experience most are following the rules, "we are all in this together" so kindness is key" .l work with a great team, we have really pulled together, and now the vaccine is being administered things will definitely improve soon.
I can understand your frustrations, we are all totally exhausted with it all now. Shame you can't book a few days off and do something nice for you, or try and transfer to a quieter part of the store, or if at all possible change your hours to a quieter time of day. My colleague has transferred to nights and much prefers it.

LolaSmiles · 07/02/2021 17:39

Frequentflier
Pretty much.

Expecting anyone to follow even the simplest of rules or deploy half an ounce of common sense at the moment is the height of unreasonable according to many on here.

It certainly seems like there's a lot of people who think they are a special case and can do what they like, whilst also complaining we are still living with restrictions.

Luckyrabbitfoot · 07/02/2021 17:40

@BritWifeinUSA

I don’t think retail is for you. Good luck in your job search.
What an arsehole response.
lazylump72 · 07/02/2021 17:41

I hear you OP and fully understand and agree with every word you have said...theres some right fuckwits out there putting themselves and others in danger and just don;t get it ,Sick of excuses being made for them ,All its doing is dragging the transmition rate up and pulling the rest of us dowm,

BritWifeinUSA · 07/02/2021 17:42

@Luckyrabbitfoot thank you!

Tal45 · 07/02/2021 17:43

YANBU OP, if my teenage ASD DS can wear one all day in Spain in 30 degree heat (where they have to be worn indoors and out) I'm sure people can manage for 20 minutes in a supermarket. If you can wear it over your mouth you can wear it over your nose, some people just don't want to.

slashlover · 07/02/2021 17:45

@BritWifeinUSA

I don’t think retail is for you. Good luck in your job search.
What an arsehole reply.
DumplingsAndStew · 07/02/2021 17:45

All of this "I'm exempt, but wear a mask anyway" is completely bollocks. You are exempt if you can't wear one. If you can wear one, you aren't exempt.

It's pretty fucking simple.

Frequentflier · 07/02/2021 17:46

@Tal45 I too come from a hot country where everyone is wearing masks, or tries to, but shortly you will be told that this isn't Spain, thank God. :( Or a communist country.

TossaCoinToYerWitcher · 07/02/2021 17:47

I can’t stand people who think they can order random strangers about. I’d have told you where to go.

Fyi the covidiots are people that believe the covid narrative, don't question it, and become complete bloody jobsworths sticking their nose in when its unnecessary.

The thing with ‘have a go covid police’ is they are not perfect themselves even though they like to think they are.

With all due respect, this is all whatabouttery and "you're not the boss of me!!" though, isn't it? None of these responses actually justifies why you're flouting what everybody's been asked to do for a common good.

Cherrysherbet · 07/02/2021 17:48

I don’t agree with you op. I think you should wind your neck in tbh. If you are going to spend your day randomly calling people out for not wearing their mask properly, then you are bringing this on yourself.

I work in a supermarket also. I CANNOT wear a mask. I have tried and tried to the point where it was causing me to feel constantly panicked (even when not at work) I suffer with severe anxiety and panic attacks. Unfortunately the feeling of having my nose and mouth covered brings on this awful feeling that I’m going to have a panic.

I wear a sunflower lanyard and a badge at work, and still multiple people every day feel the need to question me. I calmly and politely explain to random strangers the extent of my mental health problems.......fucking great 🥲. Suddenly because of mandatory mask wearing, my private business is open for public discussion...all day, everyday.

I DON’T get paid enough for this shit.....but have to feed my family.

People need to look beyond their own noses and understand that some people are perfectly within their rights to not wear a mask, and it is NOT your right to make people feel scared or worried that you are going to call them out.

Please op......mind your own fucking business.....you’re not the only person struggling.

Todayissunny · 07/02/2021 17:48

YANBU op. And I respect 100% the job you are doing. I'm not in the uk. Here you have to have a letter from the doctor to be exempt from wearing a mask. I haven't seen anyone not wearing one for a long time. I have moments too when I struggle with them (everyone does I'm sure) and I teach primary in one.
I had to go to a supermarket yesterday, there were a lot of people congregated in one area. I felt as if I was starting to have a panic attack being close to so many people. It takes a lot of courage to face as many people as you do every day op.

slashlover · 07/02/2021 17:49

@Donoteatthekittens

A cotton home made mask is unlikely to do much but it makes people feel “safe.” Hence why Germany isn’t allowing them on public transport. www.thelocal.de/20210120/what-you-should-know-about-germanys-new-mask-rules-for-public-transport-and-shops

In the USA, they are now saying you should be double or triple masking! www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/4371848001

I’ll just keep on wearing my surgical mask that I keep in my coat pocket for shops etc.

From the articles you posted

One mask provides good protection against spreading the coronavirus, but two masks could offer more.

Fabric masks usually have no filtering effect. They are less safe than surgical masks, but can still help prevent the spread of viruses.

So the articles you posted say that masks do work.

Also, why does nobody ever take a mask off, they're always ^ripped off."

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 07/02/2021 17:50

@LagunaBubbles

Some people try and wear them but have to take them off for a bit. What's so hard to understand about this?

Whats so hard to understand they shouldn't be doing that in a shop?

I was in an indoor shopping centre before lockdown and was obviously wearing a mask. I started to feel faint, my lips were tingling and the corners of my vision was going black so I pulled off my mask. What else was I supposed to do?
cerisecherries · 07/02/2021 17:52

I agree with you. If you are wearing a mask, you should wear it properly otherwise it's pointless and if you want to take it off, go outside.

Luckyrabbitfoot · 07/02/2021 17:52

[quote BritWifeinUSA]@Luckyrabbitfoot thank you![/quote]
For?

DinoHat · 07/02/2021 17:55

I haven’t read the thread but I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this OP.

The difficultly is that people can assert that they won’t wear a mask for whatever reason, but you can’t counter that and say “ok but I’m not comfortable with the risk you’re exposing me to” so it’s not a level playing field.

Retail staff have been nothing short of amazing during this pandemic, so thank you for what you’re doing.

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 07/02/2021 17:56

I have sympathy for people who struggle with masks but you're definitely yanbu.
No matter the reasoning behind it, the fact still remains that their discomfort is being alleviated at the cost of increased risk to you.
I have a huge amount of sympathy for shop workers right now. We're all struggling, some more than others, but everyone is responsible for minimising their risk to others wherever they can.
She might be struggling but so are other people and she has no idea how much you might be. It wasn't unreasonable of you to ask her to put the mask on properly, not when it would be you who might have to deal with the serious consequences of her decision if she were infectious.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 07/02/2021 18:00

This is yet another conscientious law abiding health and safety science aware versus those that don’t care and won’t be told what to do despite being criminal and potentially killing others if not themselves.

English criminal law exemption legal loophole (not found in any other nations) is possibly killing more people than good? Does this legal loophole mandate the ability for some to harm others when the pandemic is evidently out of control super spreading and mutating?

withlotsoflove · 07/02/2021 18:00

2 things - l work in a supermarket & we are paid quite a bit more than mim wage. I see this all the time on MN.
2nd - l totally feel for you op one of my colleagues was spat at yesterday...
just for asking someone to step back.
I have been told to fuck off - been lied to ( about keeping one person one trolley etc...
I’m done.
The British should be ashamed of themselves.

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 07/02/2021 18:01

Please op......mind your own fucking business.....you’re not the only person struggling.

It's exactly the OP's 'fucking business' if she contracts covid from someone else's choices or passes it onto her family. If your decisions risk someone else's safety, then they're not just your business.

islockdownoveryet · 07/02/2021 18:04

The op wasn’t talking about people that are not wearing masks she was talking about people that aren’t wearing them properly. People that struggle wearing one and at times have to pull it down . I agree it’s wrong but nobody needs to be telling these people off it’s the people that blatantly refusing you need to be annoyed with .
If you can honestly say that you have never moved you mask away from your mouth away for a 2nd in all these months then you are a better person than some of us . I think it harsh to say on 1 occasion I’ve pulled it away from my nose and that one occasion I was told off and then told I shouldn’t come out at all . A bit of common sense needs to be held here .

Dutchesss · 07/02/2021 18:04

All of this "I'm exempt, but wear a mask anyway" is completely bollocks. You are exempt if you can't wear one. If you can wear one, you aren't exempt.

It's pretty fucking simple.

I have a friend with severe asthma, 90% of the time she can wear a mask. Sometimes, if it starts to trigger an attack, she may have to remove it even if she's mid shop. She also doesn't want to catch Covid. Hmm

supersop60 · 07/02/2021 18:05

@Donoteatthekittens

As I said, I don’t really believe masks work. I’ve had my surgical mask in my pocket for a few weeks. But I’m following the rules so nobody can say anything. 👍🏻
Of course masks work, when they're worn properly. Otherwise, surgeons need not bother when they're cutting you open and breathing all over your insides! My DD works at Superdrug, and they have been told to NOT confront the non-mask -wearers.
withlotsoflove · 07/02/2021 18:05

@Cherrysherbet

I don’t agree with you op. I think you should wind your neck in tbh. If you are going to spend your day randomly calling people out for not wearing their mask properly, then you are bringing this on yourself.

I work in a supermarket also. I CANNOT wear a mask. I have tried and tried to the point where it was causing me to feel constantly panicked (even when not at work) I suffer with severe anxiety and panic attacks. Unfortunately the feeling of having my nose and mouth covered brings on this awful feeling that I’m going to have a panic.

I wear a sunflower lanyard and a badge at work, and still multiple people every day feel the need to question me. I calmly and politely explain to random strangers the extent of my mental health problems.......fucking great 🥲. Suddenly because of mandatory mask wearing, my private business is open for public discussion...all day, everyday.

I DON’T get paid enough for this shit.....but have to feed my family.

People need to look beyond their own noses and understand that some people are perfectly within their rights to not wear a mask, and it is NOT your right to make people feel scared or worried that you are going to call them out.

Please op......mind your own fucking business.....you’re not the only person struggling.

What would u do if you lived in France?