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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask your most crippling put down from a child?

454 replies

PunkyPirate · 06/02/2021 23:41

My daughter stuck her head in my crotch area this evening when we were sat in the sofa, sniffed deeply then went "Agghhhh... Mummma!! You stink! You need to remember to wash your foof!!!"

I was mortified!!! Admittedly, it was day 3/4 of wearing the same jeans! 🙈😂

OP posts:
EleanorRigbyWasReal · 07/02/2021 10:00

My mum to me...”Your sister is the pretty one. You’re not pretty but there’s “something” about you...”

I was 8.

Stovetopespresso · 07/02/2021 10:01

@CaffineismyBFF

...somethings need to be kept private....
why? let it all out if you want, we won't judge! oh hang on ....
Floridaflipflops · 07/02/2021 10:02

@goldpendant

My son tells me repeatedly that I look like one of the Star Wars bad guys (Kylo Ren?) because of my deep and multiple forehead lines.

Yesterday he came in with a toy tiger and said the same thing about a 'stripey face'.

He now draws them on pictures he does of me too.

Didn't know whether to laugh or cry!!

Grin
galaxy9 · 07/02/2021 10:02

Why on earth does a light hearted post always have to turn into people slagging others off for hygiene or parenting. Are you not bored of being so negative all the time?

Annabell80 · 07/02/2021 10:03

When my niece was about 6 she patted my stomach and asked if I was pregnant. I wouldn't have minded but I'd just lost a stone.
She's 22 now and a bit more tactful.
When my eldest was about 3 she told me she wanted to live with Granny and Grandad, when I asked her why she said because Granny's food is much better than yours.

wifterwafter · 07/02/2021 10:04

I used to be a nanny. Driving the children to school one day and one of them turns to me and says "wifterwafter what's that thing hanging from your chin" I look in the mirror and can't see anything hanging from my chin, so I say there's nothing hanging from my chin it's just skin (think double chin) "oh well I don't want one of those when I grow up". How I didn't laugh I don't know. She clearly had never seen a double chin before. Thanks to lockdown I have a triple chin these days SmileSmile

notanotherlockdownsurely · 07/02/2021 10:07

6 year old GS before beauty salons reopened
'Grandma you've got frustrated eyebrows'

happystrummer · 07/02/2021 10:09

My now 26 year old when he was 4 demanding to know what hospital he was born in so he could phone them and tell them to take him back as i wasn't looking after him properly. He'd had a telling off for crayoning on the wall.Grin

NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 07/02/2021 10:09

"Mummy everyone can sing but some people don't sound very good"

Said by my then 3yo as I was belting out Dolly Parton songs in the car - I don't think she was referring to Ms Parton

FrauleinF · 07/02/2021 10:10

My at the time 3 year old son came into the toilet cubicle with me when we were at Bluewater once, gave me a withering look, pointed, and shouted "Why have you got all that fur down there Mummy?"

FUR?! FFS...

Floridaflipflops · 07/02/2021 10:11

@SuperHighway

My daughter's friend came for tea. They were about year 4. I noticed the friend watching me as I moved around the kitchen, then she said to DD "I don't think your mum looks like Snape".
Grin
LadyOfTheFlowers · 07/02/2021 10:11

"What happened to your belly?"

"If that's what happens, I don't think I'll have a baby"

(It's rather wrinkly, much like a deflated balloon or crepe paper after carrying one 10lb, one 9lb and two 8lb babies)

Countless "this is so squishy/that is so squishy" etc

My favourite of all time:

"Oh Daddy!! You look like Ken....! And mummy.... You look like.... You look like Babrbie's mum"

EleanorRigbyWasReal · 07/02/2021 10:13

Ooops! Just seen “by a child” 😂😂😂😂

Floridaflipflops · 07/02/2021 10:13

@galaxy9

Why on earth does a light hearted post always have to turn into people slagging others off for hygiene or parenting. Are you not bored of being so negative all the time?
Because they have zero sense of humour.
EleanorRigbyWasReal · 07/02/2021 10:13

Thought it was “as a child”.

LuaDipa · 07/02/2021 10:15

My dd looking at old pictures of me from when they were small and saying with surprise “Wow Mummy you used to be so pretty!”.

Rugbycomet · 07/02/2021 10:17

A teaching assistant told me that one of the children in her class of four year olds had said to her..’Mrs B, you’d be pretty if you wore those earrings all the time’. She did laugh but it was such a backhanded compliment...

Rangoon · 07/02/2021 10:17

For a previous poster, I don't know that things are true just because a child says it. My toddler told people at creche that her mother had false teeth, a big bottom and her boobs came down to her waist. I wore a tooth splint at night but had all my own teeth, had a 32a chest and what could be described as a very small rear being a tallish size 8 weighing around 8 stone.

Scarby9 · 07/02/2021 10:20

Not me, but a Reception teacher friend.

At story time a small child, who had been gazing up at her, said, 'Mrs X, your face is lovely and smooth. (pause) Why are your hands so old?'

Templetree · 07/02/2021 10:23

Because they have zero sense of humour

I just dont find a child going round sniffing my crotch very funny.
They would be told straight away that it was not appropriate and not to do it again.

Always, any woman with boundaries is negative, uptight, lacks a sense of humour blah blah.

yumscrumfatbum · 07/02/2021 10:24

My dd told me I was a "Big fat horrible Mummy" when I told her she couldn't do something. Her little sister piped up "No you're a lovely big fat Mummy" Uh thanks?

Fembot123 · 07/02/2021 10:24

I really do have a sense of humour, how is a smelly fanny amusing 🥴

Floridaflipflops · 07/02/2021 10:25

@Templetree

Because they have zero sense of humour

I just dont find a child going round sniffing my crotch very funny.
They would be told straight away that it was not appropriate and not to do it again.

Always, any woman with boundaries is negative, uptight, lacks a sense of humour blah blah.

Maybe they didn’t actually sniff it but got a ‘waft’...
WaltzingTilda · 07/02/2021 10:28

Having not cut my hair since January last year due to the pandemic I finally decided to cut my own hair using the 'unicorn cut. Felt so relieved to finally get rid of quite a bit of hair. When I went downstairs my dd(3) looked up at me and smiled and said "Aww, did you cut your hair? I like how you've cut your hair" (paused a little) and then said "into a pear shape" Hmm

Floridaflipflops · 07/02/2021 10:29

@Rangoon

For a previous poster, I don't know that things are true just because a child says it. My toddler told people at creche that her mother had false teeth, a big bottom and her boobs came down to her waist. I wore a tooth splint at night but had all my own teeth, had a 32a chest and what could be described as a very small rear being a tallish size 8 weighing around 8 stone.
My gosh don’t get me started on toddlers lying at nursery! On asking my dd2 how she got a black eye Dd2 (3 at the time) told the nursery staff that her dad had punched her in the face Shock it was totally untrue! I’d caught her with a glass jug as she was hovering behind me 🙈
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