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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want naked photos / painting of myself

106 replies

kellybrook · 31/10/2007 22:17

before i look really old and haggard?
i have wanted for ages.
i still want.
i wonder how to go about it without
a) spending £10million
b) getting involved in the porn industry
c) ending up on the internet
d) being looked at on the internet by ds's teacher who i am convinced is the kind of man who gives his credit card to porn chat rooms.

answers please ladies!

OP posts:
Santasmissyontheside · 01/11/2007 20:56

Blonde i found them at national wedding show- i fainted at the stall! Anyhow i took part in a american prog and like i said couple other bits. The studio is amazing. Alex took my pics. If you do have them i can do the recomend a friend thing

normabutty · 01/11/2007 21:00

JGB - Do you mind saying how much roughly you charge? I can CAT you if you'd rather not say on here (do you accept CAT messages?)

kellybrook · 01/11/2007 21:09

JGB - i've emailed you! but now i need photos to get pictures!
hmmm. back to square one as do not want to supply horrid phone photos taken by me with a wobbly hand, though would love to do this for DH.

had a look at the FYEO site - really lovely pics on there, but again, they are only in high wycombe or in manchester! what hope has a london girl, with a full time hi pressure job and 3 kids, and a dh with a full time hi pressure job, got of getting up there for a relaxed photo shoot!

hmmm...actually, beautiful fantasy forming in head of inventing client to visit in high wycombe and then spending it lounging around in fish nets with elegantly placed bits of chiffon to cover up my cellulite....

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 01/11/2007 21:17

this lot are in battersea www.portfolio-studio.com/

kellybrook · 01/11/2007 21:21

they don't look as good as FYEO.
now i'm hooked.
just need to find a spare £500 and have Dh's xmas pressie sorted!

OP posts:
KerryMumKABOOM · 01/11/2007 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsmother · 01/11/2007 21:33

LOL at "doing it together" Kelly !!

I thought the FYEO concept is very almost what I'm looking for but for the moment in any case, it will have to remain a dream as I can't afford those prices. I already had a fair idea of what a professional session would cost TBH so I wasn't surprised.

If anything I'd like something maybe a bit more imaginative/edgy .... it's really difficult to describe exactly what I want and I think I need to "bounce ideas" about with some arty type. I do wonder about ..... eek .... approaching a photography college whose students might welcome some experience but the thought of being sniggered at mortifies me, never mind the copyright/internet aspect.

Maybe one day when circumstances allow ....

Do let us know if and when you take the plunge won't you !

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 02/11/2007 13:33

Kellybrook, I've emailed you.

Normabutty, with regards to charges: It's flexible- I generally work fairly small, (smaller than for example an A2 piece of paper 16.54in x 23.29in) and charge anything between £50 and £100 depending on the size of the painting you wanted, materials and the time it takes me to complete. If you wanted anything bigger than that then obviously it would cost more and possibly take longer.

Feel free to email me with any questions at the_pkat at yahoo dot co dot uk

And remember I don't just do nudes, I do portraits and clothed figures too, kids, pets, etc (anything with a face really... no landscapes!)

Elizabetth · 02/11/2007 13:38

I don't really get why women feel the need to take their clothes off for the camera. Why?

You don't hear blokes saying they need to take their clothes off and get snapped before their looks go. In fact you probably wouldn't have heard women saying it twenty odd years ago. I think it's the influence of pornography and now every woman has to aspire to being a sex object.

catsmother · 02/11/2007 16:09

I can't speak for anyone else Eliazbetth but the reason why i want to do it is because I spent a good 20 years truly believing I was hideous - though, as I said before, I'm kicking myself now for all the wasted opportunities that belief caused me to turn down. I don't just mean relationship wise, as when you have no self belief and no self confidence that can hold you back in all sorts of ways .... making friends, applying for jobs, taking risks, chatting to people. It can also lead you to making crappy decisions (especially relationship wise) because you think you don't deserve better.

I don't want to be a sex object, I just want to capture myself now I have finally begun to believe I am reasonably attractive, and though I hope I will still look "okay" as I get older, I figure now is as good a time as any. Maybe if I could afford it, I'd get pictures done every 5 years or so. I used to feel so unfeminine .... maybe I had that body dysmorphic thing ?? ..... in spite of having boobs & curves (which shows how silly it was) ..... and so now, I want to "celebrate" being a woman if that makes sense ? I certainly don't want to get all my bits out, for it to be explicit nor gratuitous ..... but neither do I want the only images I have of myself when I get older (which would mainly be memories in my mind) to be those of a frumpy frazzled mum. I am more than that - and quite possibly, a remaining lack of confidence is driving me to think about having this done, as if to prove that I am not the frump I often feel.

Also, during the time I hated how I looked, I used to avoid photos religiously. Consequently I have a very small record of how I've looked and how I've changed over the years. Kicking myself some more now, because casting my mind back to occasions when I realise - now - that I looked good, there's nothing, no record of that.

Again, personally, these pictures are for me and I don't know who, if anyone else, would ever get to see them. Even DP. Can you be a sex object to yourself I wonder ??

MrsTittleMouse · 02/11/2007 16:31

Wish I'd had some photos taken for DH before I had DD.
No escaping the vast acres of stretch marks and lowering of boobs now...

Lulumama · 02/11/2007 16:36

elizabetth

why can women not celebrate their bodies, without being told they are objectified or sex objects

what is wrong with being happy with yourself, your body, and wanting to celebrate it ?

adult women are quite capable of making such decisions without it being a direct result of pornography

i have nude picture of myself, 39 weeks pregnant with DS and one of myself 37 weeks pregnant with DD. being pregnant was one of the few times i have felt totally at ease with myself, and also amazed , at what my body had created and was nurturing

definitely nothing to do with being objectififed

i thikn you are doing a great disservice to women generally by presuming that the motive for nude pictures is solely generated by pornography

you think 20 - 30 years ago women didn;t do this?

and pornography has been around since the dawn of time, it is hardly something new

littlesparkler · 02/11/2007 16:42

Go for it. My ex painted me nude once (many years ago) and it's beautiful. Can't display it as my DH has issues about the fact my ex painted it but I know it's there and one day I will have it hanging somewhere. It's not vain and if you have had any body issues in the past it could be quite a positive thing to do. I don't regret it. Mind you, it is pre dd so things have gone south since then and will probably head further south after 2nd dc.

nORAYNonmybonfireplease · 02/11/2007 16:46

I'd like a demi moore/britney spears style pregnant pciture, but I'd need the stretch marks airbrushing off, is that cheating??

normabutty · 02/11/2007 16:47

Elizabetth - I don't think that all nude pictures are inspired by porn. Some women just want to celebrate their bodies.

Personally I think artistic paintings/photographs of naked people are beautiful.

normabutty · 02/11/2007 16:47

Meant to say, I'll email you JGB.

kneehighinnappies · 02/11/2007 16:49

I don't really get why women feel the need to take their clothes off for the camera. Why?

Hello Elisabetth fancy seeing you here
I wish I would have had something like kellybrook's idea before I had all my kiddies and they ruined my body, would have been lovely to have been able to look back on my tiny frame and remeber that it hasn't always been a mass of sagging skin.

LaDiDaDi · 02/11/2007 17:08

I would love to have this done too. I've let dp take photos of me naked but tbh they look crap as he isn't a trained photographer and as someonelse pointed out you need the right background, lighting and composition etc.

At times in the past I have had significant issues with my body and still have to an extent today though I now have much more of a capacity to see myself objectively and recognise that my body is fine, not perfect but it does what I want it to and not only is it functional but I feel happy with it as a woman. I'd like to have photos done to celebrate that, not in anyway as a reflection of a desire to emulate pornography.

MrsCarrot · 02/11/2007 17:14

I did some modelling for an artist a few years ago and I have the catalogues from the exhibitions and one charcoal.

I'm really pleased that I did it, though sometimes I wonder where the paintings are and if I'll come across one someday. It's a nice thing to do.

Elizabetth · 02/11/2007 17:23

Lulu, your argument only stands up if men did this too. If men don't feel the need to "celebrate their bodies" (whatever that means) then why do women? The answer is that despite quite a few decades of feminism we are still valued for our looks and our bodies more than anything else. That's why feeling unattractive can be so devastating for women - because it makes them feel valueless. Of course the answer to this isn't to try to fit in more with the attractive ideal, it's to chuck out the whole idea that life is a beauty contest for women. Being good-looking or sexually attractive doesn't make you a better person but a lot of people believe it does for a woman. Imagine if we were acceptable just the way we are - most people can't imagine it with regards to women. Thus the need for make-up, diets, cosmetic surgery, revealing clothes, hair dye etc. etc.

As for porn having been around forever that really doesn't reflect the way our society has become completely pornified in the past few years. Women are increasingly expected to be sex objects for men, something that would have been unthinkable even twenty years ago.

Elizabetth · 02/11/2007 17:25

Also the OP mentioned porn in her very first post, along with the example of a creepy guy who uses it, so she obviously sees the connection on some level.

Lulumama · 02/11/2007 17:32

but men do have pictures taken of themselves!
and i bet more men would if they were not afraid of being seen as too vain/ gay/ metrosexual for wanting to celebrate their own looks

ok, the OP mentions porn, but i still don;t thikn you can use your argument to cover all women, i certainly had no thoughts of pornograpyhy when i had my naked pregnant picutres taken

normabutty · 02/11/2007 17:32

Well Lulu's post seemed to be about having naked portraits done while pregnant, so that might be difficult for a man to do .

"Imagine if we were acceptable just the way we are" - Err yes, imagine that...imagine if we were so happy with our bodies regardless of having a bit of baby belly still, a few stretchmarks, a bit of cellulite that we were happy to pose naked and enjoy it.

Lulumama · 02/11/2007 17:34

do you honestly beleive that every woman

dyes her hair

uses fake tan

wears make up

has surgery

etc etc

to please men?

if so, you clearly have a very low opinion of women, as you seem so determined to write so many of us off as brainless, sex objects bowing to the greater power of man

which i assure you, i have never done!

Elizabetth · 02/11/2007 17:41

I haven't written any women off as brainless sex objects, I'm just noticing the enormous social pressures directed at women to fit in with an attractive idea. Or maybe you've managed to avoid coming into contact with the multi-billion pound advertising and media industries that push us in that direction.

Women are told that we are objects to be looked at and admired. If we were acceptable the way we are (which this society tells us we're not) we wouldn't feel the need to "pose" to prove them wrong or prove ourselves acceptable.

I mean even the OP is saying she wants to pose before she gets old and wrinkly which is basically saying that age and wrinkliness is less acceptable.