To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

[HeidiHaughton]

Ltb being mine.

@GoodbyeH

I often think If we heard the other side of the story from the DH, posters wouldn't be so quick to tell OP to LTB.

It would be pretty easy to write about an argument or disagreement I had with DH and make it sound like I'm the victim!

And this ! I always think this on these threads. But I'm scared to say it as I know I'll get lynched by the anti men brigade who know for a fact based on the OP that he's a bastard and her only option is to leave immediately 🤔

it’s the done thing to redecorate their room as soon as they’ve gone to uni

I was actually planning to do this. Does that make me a bad mother

@NotReallyTheVicar

A stranger is incredibly rude to you. MN: You don’t know what’s going on in their life.

Could be that they’re just a nasty person!

Yes and everyone has a hidden disability. No, some people are just irritable twonks!

Regarding men I feel like I see a worrying trend where really abusive behaviour is generally tolerated and the OP self blames ( been on this forum for 15 years or so now ).

OP: my DH constantly texts his very attractive female colleague, called me a bitch, spends every weekend on his personal hobbies leaving me to fend for the newborn , toddler twins and stroppy teens , has never washed a dish, sulks if he doesn't get sex on tap and occasionally breaks things round the house . He has so only ever hit me Once though and am pretty sure that was my fault . AIBU to have spent five minutes to myself crying in the car ?

At 29 years old she’s not reallyyy an adult though, her brain is probably still developing.

Op: my child coughed
P: it might be ASD.

I find it so sad when a poster writes that a close friend has suddenly turned on her and is now displaying typical bullying behaviour, nasty messages, spreading lies, trying to turn mutual friends against them... and several people reply telling the OP that they both sound like teenagers. I’m left wondering what on Earth the OP has done to make them sound like a teenager when they’ve posted nothing remotely juvenile about they own behaviour. The ‘advice’ is always to walk away from all of their friends, like cutting off your entire friendship/ support network is so easy, especially when you’re being victimised by someone you had considered a close friend.

I think calling mumsnet ‘anti men’ is a cliche in itself. There’s always threads where a man has been violent, aggressive or blatantly unreasonable and posters respond to say so, then along come the ‘mumsnet is so anti men’ ‘imagine if a man had posted this the answers would be so different’ ‘OP it’s completely you’re fault, you tickled him so you deserved to be punched in the face and called a fat bitch, if anything YOURE the abuser’ posters.

@mooncats

OP: does anyone like this dress ? MN: yuk no, it's polyester

Or "well, if you're willing to pay £75 for what is essentially polyester, go for it"

LTB for me! A lot of the time, I think people seem to think it's completely OK to throw away a perfectly good relationship over one fight/incident. Or they twist what people have said to make it sound like the OP is being "gaslighted". Bonkers!

@ZombeaArthur

I find it so sad when a poster writes that a close friend has suddenly turned on her and is now displaying typical bullying behaviour, nasty messages, spreading lies, trying to turn mutual friends against them... and several people reply telling the OP that they both sound like teenagers. I’m left wondering what on Earth the OP has done to make them sound like a teenager when they’ve posted nothing remotely juvenile about they own behaviour. The ‘advice’ is always to walk away from all of their friends, like cutting off your entire friendship/ support network is so easy, especially when you’re being victimised by someone you had considered a close friend.

My best friend of 20 years was behaving really badly towards me once. I got told I sounded like I didn't like her very much...

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit It’s like we’re expected to like everything everyone does at all times or we automatically hate the person. I think it doesn’t occur to some posters that it’s possible to like the person but not their current actions.

Not a cliché as such but a trend, especially in AIBU, to accuse the OP of lying. I remember my very first post here, many years ago, and it was my first ever post on the whole site. Admittedly I was user1111111 or whatever so that possibly raised an eyebrow, but I was describing my situation and which involved giving the back story of a description of (the lack of) transport options at night in rural Ireland. A number of posters came on and accused me of lying, saying it couldn’t possibly be that bad, could I not just get an Uber, there simply had to be trains available etc. The more I reiterated that there weren’t such options, the more others doubled down saying ‘something sounds off’ and ‘it doesn’t ring true’ etc. People who most likely had never set foot in rural Ireland in their lives, but nonetheless felt they knew enough about the transport logistics there to accuse me of lying. There were of course some lovely posters who stood up for me too. But I have noticed that pattern of picking holes and not believing the poster, as if they’re fucking Sherlock Holmes. I wonder do they think they get shiny badges for sniffing out a troll or something

The odd spelling mistake or grammatical error being a huge deal, so then everyone has to endure the boring comments pointing said errors.
‘Entitled’
‘Grim’
‘Vile’
Being very intense about school/education.
‘Screaming’ for something
The worst one is ‘give your head a wobble’ - that one makes me cringe terribly.
Anything that’s not hardcore medical drugs is ‘placebo’ and ‘woo’
Everyone has 2 children, more or less than that is wrong.
Outdated (90s) prestige attached to having a degree.
I don’t really understand the biscuit response, always mean to find out!

• I hope my response doesn’t coke across as negative, there are some tedious folk on here for sure but other who are very witty and/or informative.

All the men who look at and like social media posts of women or, god forbid, make a comment about a woman who is not their partner being attractive, are dirty, filthy, porn addicted scum....

.... but it's absolutely fine to have threads perving and slavering over whoever the current male eye-candy happens to be (even if he is young enough to be your son).

Posters who say "A bit" OCD. It's a condition which has to be diagnosed by a medical professional surely?

LTB, even if you have nowhere to go and no money and no support.

If your DH/DP even so much as looks at another woman, he is abusive and you must LTB immediately.

Kick him out, even if he pays the mortgage and is physically much stronger and taller than you.

"Have you spoken to HR?" (Employment issues)

WENDYs. Am I being Wendied?

WhoTF is called Wendy anymore?

Whenever you mention your or your child's university, you must put Russell Group in brackets so nobody mistakenly thinks you're working class.

Or 'top'.

'My child consistently receives top grades from their top selective school and is applying for some top unis blah blah.'

"My child is considering applying to Durham."
"As long as you understand that's where all the rejects from Oxbridge go. Other than that I suppose it's a good choice."

The fact that whenever anybody posts for advice about their ex and refers to them as "babydaddy" or "babyfather," posters fall over themselves to pretend not to understand what the term means. Fair enough not liking/ using the term yourself, ( I don't) but I fail to believe that any of these posters are not fully aware of what a babyfather/ babydaddy means.

And the bizarre advice that you shouldn't have kids under 30 or over 35.

Everyone has a husband and children who “wouldn’t dream” of doing xyz, whatever problem the OP has.

Men wanking is grim, men looking at or thinking about any other women is cheating.