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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask at what age you put your child in nursery?

333 replies

chuckb4ss · 05/02/2021 18:08

Was it part time or full time, and did you feel it was beneficial for your child?

I've read that research shows babies should be with their primary caregiver for the first few years in order to create a secure, healthy attachment, but I simply cannot last that long!

OP posts:
TheMoth · 05/02/2021 22:02

I really can't fault the nursery mine went to. I'm still in contact with some of the nurses a decade later. They were fab and had different ways of interacting with the dc, dependingon age. I suppose you just need to pick the right nursery.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 05/02/2021 22:02

6 months for both of mine, I had to return to work. Both absolutely loved it and twenty years on it was the best decision we could have made.

Nettleskeins · 05/02/2021 22:05

Nearly 3, termtime, 5 mornings for 3 hours.
A speech therapist once told me leave it till 3 years if you have twins, because they need as much one to one as they can get.
Montessori nursery

Nettleskeins · 05/02/2021 22:09

My DC's loved their nursery, but having said that they also loved going to playgroup in the years preceding when I was there too, and to play in other kids houses. So nursery isn't the only way to socialise a baby, toddler. Although I see that Covid makes a big difference

Gooseygoosey12345 · 05/02/2021 22:10

Both of mine went to Pre-school at 3 and really enjoyed it. I have no idea if that's the best age to enrol them or not. Every child is different, you can only try them out with it and see how they get on

ATieLikeRichardGere · 05/02/2021 22:13

6 months!!! She’s 2 and seems unscarred.

Blimey2s · 05/02/2021 22:13

Women should immediately stop work when become mothers. They should forgo any career aspirations and stay at home and look after children until they reach the age of 5 and then the mother realises she can no longer rejoin her career.
Or on the other hand, children can go to nursery at any age and be perfectly fine. Their mother can work or have a break and not give up their own life entirely.
My children both went 2 days a week from 10 months old. DD2 is 3 now and should have started full time school nursery in January (but hasn’t due to lockdown).

Nettleskeins · 05/02/2021 22:15

I know people whose children cried and cried at nursery aged two, and they withdrew them and restarted at 3, whereupon they loved it. It can be a developmental thing.
Day nursery v termtime sessions are very different kinds of nursery.
Day nursery is a homey environment,vwhereas termtime nursery am v pm "sessions" is just slightly more concentrated surely, and tiring? Mine would come out and go to sleep afterwards from 2to4pm aged 3.

ElevenBells · 05/02/2021 22:16

9 months. 4 days a week. Wasn’t so much a choice as had to get back to work to pay the mortgage!

Jxtina86 · 05/02/2021 22:17

Just under 1 years old. It would have been 10 months but then lockdown 1 happened and I was furloughed anyway. I didn't have a choice as needed to go back to work and have no family nearby to help with childcare but I also have no regrets - she loves it, the staff are brilliant and she goes in happily every day. We have a long weekend together as a family and it's the right balance for us all.

didireallysaythat · 05/02/2021 22:18

3 months full time. For both of them.

No regrets. On any front.

Mumtogirls90 · 05/02/2021 22:18

DD1 started at a childminder at 11 months when I returned to work. DD2 will be the same. DD1 loves going (still goes now) and always has done.

My thoughts are that as long as when your child is in your care you spend quality time together where possible and build up a positive bond, why would their bond with you be any different whether or not they go to a nursery/childminders?!

There are lots of extra benefits from going to another setting (socialising, confidence building) in my opinion Smile as long as they have the foundations of a happy home life your bond should be unaffected.

NerrSnerr · 05/02/2021 22:19

@TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY

never

mine has never been is a child care setting, or a babysitter and are home educated

they are 16 and 10

i believe children should be with their parents

You must realise that many people cannot afford to take 16+ years out of work?
Mrgrinch · 05/02/2021 22:27

This is so sad.

Babies of 6 months old being without their parents 7:30-5, 5 days a week. It literally makes me want to cry. Those poor babies.

SimonJT · 05/02/2021 22:28

@Mrgrinch

This is so sad.

Babies of 6 months old being without their parents 7:30-5, 5 days a week. It literally makes me want to cry. Those poor babies.

Why is it sad?
Mrgrinch · 05/02/2021 22:30

Why is it sad?

Because that is not what babies need. They need their mother. In my culture women don't (usually) work and it's completely alien to me, and to be honest heartbreaking.

20viona · 05/02/2021 22:31

14 months. 3 days a week when I work and she loves it.

TheJerkStore · 05/02/2021 22:32

Because that is not what babies need. They need their mother. In my culture women don't (usually) work and it's completely alien to me, and to be honest heartbreaking.

Comments like this make me so fucking angry.

TheMoth · 05/02/2021 22:32

mrgrinch save your tears for the babies of 6 months who are with shit parents 24/7. Or those who may well have parents who don't work, but neglect them.

I don't even know why I'm biting.

Blimey2s · 05/02/2021 22:33

@Mrgrinch

Why is it sad?

Because that is not what babies need. They need their mother. In my culture women don't (usually) work and it's completely alien to me, and to be honest heartbreaking.

Not all mothers can/want to stay at home and luckily, in our culture, we have the choice to work or stay at home depending upon personal circumstances. Babies in nursery aren’t abandoned in a locked room. They are looked after by qualified staff in a safe environment with plenty of stimulation. They spend time around their nursery hours with their parents. They’re fine.
TheJerkStore · 05/02/2021 22:33

@TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY

never

mine has never been is a child care setting, or a babysitter and are home educated

they are 16 and 10

i believe children should be with their parents

Who pays the mortgage??
Mrgrinch · 05/02/2021 22:33

So I'm not allowed to express that it's upsetting to me? Jesus Christ every time I give an opinion from my (different) perspective, I get attacked.

SimonJT · 05/02/2021 22:34

@Mrgrinch

Why is it sad?

Because that is not what babies need. They need their mother. In my culture women don't (usually) work and it's completely alien to me, and to be honest heartbreaking.

Babies need a care giver, that doesn’t have to be a mother. Are fathers unemployed in your culture?
TheJerkStore · 05/02/2021 22:34

@Mrgrinch

So I'm not allowed to express that it's upsetting to me? Jesus Christ every time I give an opinion from my (different) perspective, I get attacked.
You don't understand why people take umbrage to your comments?
Blimey2s · 05/02/2021 22:35

@Mrgrinch

So I'm not allowed to express that it's upsetting to me? Jesus Christ every time I give an opinion from my (different) perspective, I get attacked.
I don’t understand how this can be upsetting. Genuinely. I spend hours every week at work reading safeguarding reports about shit parents and this is what makes me cry.
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