AIBU to be sad about the wrong cake

[Firenight]

My husband just brought back cake for us all from the cafe. Chocolate for him and one child; sponge for the other child; bakewell for me. I hate bakewell.

In his defence, he knew one of us liked it - the child with sponge cake who does like bakewell was already halfway through his slice.

We've been together nearly 20 years and he doesnt know that I would never choose that!

So AIBU to be feeling down over something so trivial?

Haha it's like when my dad insists on asking me whether I want cream on my dessert. I've not liked cream for 30 years Dad! Do you even know me?! 😂

Feeling sad is a bit far though.

Also YABU for not liking bakewells.

I almost cried when my DH bought a chocolate cake for my birthday when I'd strongly been craving a typical kiddy sponge birthday cake with the jam, buttercream and icing, and had dropped hints as well. So I can kind of see where you're coming from. I'm pregnant though so that's my excuse for the emotion!

However the best way to share 4 different cake slices between 4 is to divide them all up so everyone gets a bit of each! I find it so weird when people get their own things and never share! Guess that's why I love sharing platters and tapas style food etc.

I get this OP and YANBU. When people observe what you choose to eat, drink, wear and enjoy for years and then choose something different (that you dislike) I find it quite frustrating and sad.

I now say thinks like ‘these are my FAVOURITE chocolates’ and ‘This is my FAVOURITE bath oil / flowers’ but it falls on deaf ears. Even some friends who have known me for considerably less time get it right. They’re not listening. Not listening properly. I find that difficult.

YANBU because bakewell is the food of the devil. Cherry AND almond. 🤮

Yanbu, I hate bakewell and would be so disappointed.

My DM insists on giving me sprouts at Christmas despite knowing I can’t stand them, because they’re good for me. So are other vegetables. 🙄

[quote ILoveShula]@PurpleDaisies, OP isn't Herrera.[/quote]
The op does not say it was deliberate. That was the point I was making. I’m surprised that wasn’t clear.

I love Lindor chocolates I really do. I could have cried when dp presented me with the whole chocolate and strawberry ones - I hate white chocolate and he KNOWS this. I was excited when I saw the wrapped package as could tell from the shape it was Lindor. Sooooo disappointed.

OP I was with you

I am with you that should have said

Yes. Christmas every year, I'm careful to get my DC's and DH the treats they like. DH then also buys extra of the things he likes. He then buys me things I don't like. Sigh.

It took me nigh on 20 years to get through to my DH that I really didn't like Thornton's chocolates, and if he was going to buy chocolates for me then just about anything else would be fine - just not them.

OP - if he does it again woe betide him!

I get it OP

It’s totally normal of any reasonable adult to feel a bit put out when everyone else gets a nice treat and you don’t. It’s especially reasonable when the reason you don’t get the treat is because your DH/DP of X years hadn’t bothered to learn your likes and dislikes

I reckon in the current climate YANBU. Sometimes a nice piece of cake is the highlight of the blooming week and with so much else being taken away, trivial things can suddenly become way out of proportion important.
I would be saying 'It's ridiculous, I know, but I'm feeling tearful over a cake' and my DP would be nipping back out an getting me another and we'd all live happily ever after!

@SummerHouse

I literally wept in the aisle over cake once. DP was morto. I was pregnant though....

I did too, it was soon after my dad died. He loved custard tarts and I cried when I saw them.

@shouldreallynamechangemore

YANBU because bakewell is the food of the devil. Cherry AND almond. 🤮

Most Bakewell tarts don’t have cherry. Raspberry jam is more typical.

I think YANBU. And everyone should have immediately shared their cake with you instead.

Next time tell him to stick to 2 slices of sponge cake.

I’ve enjoyed reading this though - hope it’s cheered you up. I loved the ‘reasons to divorce my DH - 1. Chocolate Brownies’ and the PP who in 20 years hadn’t noticed her DH doesn’t drink tea!

Ooh, I've got a craving for a Bakewell pudding now. I'd settle for a tart though.

VinylDetective I’d had an almost identical moment over custard tarts recently, about my mum. I’m welling up thinking of it actually. I hate custard tarts with all the nutmeg and thick pastry but I’d love to buy some and take them round for a cup of tea, and I never will be able to again.

Sometimes cake is not just cake.

It not about the cake though... it’s about not bothering to remember what you like

Exactly.

I would feel quite sad about this too

My husband does this, I find it really upsetting, as he obviously makes no effort to remember details like this. I'm surprised most people seem to think this is ok.

I've been with my DH 20 years. If he brought me a coffee cake I would be furious. He should know after than long what you do and don't like.

YABVU bakewell is yummy

@VinylDetective @NoSquirrels I howled the first time I heard mum's favourite racehorse mentioned on the radio sports round up after she died... grief is such a funny thing, isn't it?

Ps OP yanbu but equally I am happy to accept any rejected bakewell here, I love it!

NBU I reckon. DH once got me a strawberry milkshake in McDonald's, I have never, ever ordered anything other than a chocolate milkshake in McDonald's in the 13 years we've been together. I lost my shit! It had been a stressy day and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think the Maccys worker must have sympathised with me though because she swapped it for me, bless her!

YABVU not to like Bakewell cake though.