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Original poster

Captain Tom 😢

327 replies

StCharlotte · 02/02/2021 16:21

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-55881753

He did more in his last year than most of us manage in a lifetime.

Truly a life well lived.

OP posts:
SummaLuvin · 02/02/2021 18:34

Unpopular opinion: Sir Tom and his family were wrong to have travelled to Barbados. I think they were tier 3 or 4 at the time. If it wasn’t against the rules explicitly, then it was certainly against the spirit of them. Many people saying now that he died it’s a good thing he went to have one last jolly, I disagree. My 90 year old grandma hasn't met her first great-grandchild who turns 1 next week, should she be allowed to go on family visits because she is old and probably wouldn't survive if she caught Covid? Of course not. There are many old people who have made sacrifices in their final years because we are all in this together. Being old doesn’t exempt you from rules.

Of course it's terribly sad for his family, but doesn't justify the holiday...

waltzingparrot · 02/02/2021 18:36

Well done that man. What a legacy.

They're always threatening to give us a new bank holiday. Can we have a 'Captain Tom' day which could be a day of national fundraising to support projects for the elderly?

Please put it in the sunny part of the calendar though.

Quaagars · 02/02/2021 18:37

I can't get worked up over the holiday.
He's a 100 years old, he knew the risks, it was his choice.
He's done so much, I can't begrudge one last holiday whilst he was fit and well enough.
He had one last holiday with his family, which he wouldn't have had if otherwise.

Quaagars · 02/02/2021 18:38

That was in response to summaluvin by the way

littlepattilou · 02/02/2021 18:40

God bless his soul. Smile

R.I.P. you wonderful man Captain Sir Tom Moore!!! Sad Halo Star

Chicchicchicchiclana · 02/02/2021 18:42

He achieved something really special and I can only admire him for that. Condolences to his loved ones.

SummaLuvin · 02/02/2021 18:43

@Quaagars my husband and best friend both lost elderly grandmothers this year. Neither of them even got the chance to visit them in hospital to say goodbye, never mind a going on one last holiday, they were too busy obeying the rules.

Also, his risk = his choice, well it's not really, that's the point, you risk everyone around you when you make non-vital journeys/trips/contact with people.

SunshineCake · 02/02/2021 18:43

I think I went into shock as didn't cry when I saw the new flash as I would normally do when someone special dies but then my son came to tell me and that set me off. My son is an emotional sausage and he was just so shocked. Even dd called out to tell me and she's not as emotional as us.

He was a remarkable man and I think he wrote his autobiography and if he did, I need to buy it.

So so sad and what a desperately cruel way to go.

Flowers.

JanewaysBun · 02/02/2021 18:43

I didn't know him but he did seem to represent a lot of hope and spirit of getting through this all. Wonderful man who achieved so much, I hope it was peaceful at the end

LegArmpits · 02/02/2021 18:44

I'm glad he had his family around him....

Abraxan · 02/02/2021 18:45

If it wasn’t against the rules explicitly, then it was certainly against the spirit of them

I know Mumsnet posters like to do so. However we can't just make our own rules up to suit.

At the time of travel he was allowed to travel. On another thread some one said he was in tier 2 at the time of him leaving. I don't know if that's the case for sure.

At that point it was legal to travel. There was no travel restriction on him travelling and he did so under the guidelines at the time.

It's as simple as that.

He was allowed to travel.
He chose to travel.

bonbonours · 02/02/2021 18:47

It is sad but he was old and even without cOvid might not have survived pneumonia in any case. But I know that people saw him as a symbol of hope and he certainly did a lot of good.

I'm interested in the "his family were around him". That's lovely and as it should be but I know people whose parents have died in hospital from covid and they have not been allowed to be with them. My friend sang to her dying mum over zoom.

Does this mean the rules have changed or that there's one rule for regular people and one for celebrities?

Abraxan · 02/02/2021 18:47

Those posters insistent on bringing in the fact that he had a holiday - which at the time was allowed and legal - what do you get from it?

Able to say 'told you so' perhaps?
Does that make you feel any better about yourself?

Why is it even relevant to a thread about his passing?

Bunnyrun5 · 02/02/2021 18:49

Yes it’s sad, but so unfair how he was allowed to have all his family at his bedside yet so many people couldn’t even say goodbye to their loved ones when they were dying.

Lovely1a2b3c · 02/02/2021 18:50

@SummaLuvin

Unpopular opinion: Sir Tom and his family were wrong to have travelled to Barbados. I think they were tier 3 or 4 at the time. If it wasn’t against the rules explicitly, then it was certainly against the spirit of them. Many people saying now that he died it’s a good thing he went to have one last jolly, I disagree. My 90 year old grandma hasn't met her first great-grandchild who turns 1 next week, should she be allowed to go on family visits because she is old and probably wouldn't survive if she caught Covid? Of course not. There are many old people who have made sacrifices in their final years because we are all in this together. Being old doesn’t exempt you from rules.

Of course it's terribly sad for his family, but doesn't justify the holiday...

This is all true. I am quite conflicted about it too.
Abraxan · 02/02/2021 18:50

Does this mean the rules have changed or that there's one rule for regular people and one for celebrities?

No. It's always been the case that some hospitals and some wards allow visitors for end of life cases.

My family are in no way celebrities. We've had 3 family members die in the past year - April, May and August. All three had family visits when it came to their end of life care. All in state run hospitals, not private.

The earliest was FIL in March/April. No hospital visitors but the hospital had him moved to a hospice for his final 2 days so that mil, dh and bil could be with him.

Both nanas died in hospital, one with covid and one without. May and August. Both has family visits in the hours before their death.

bonbonours · 02/02/2021 18:51

If I was 100 I would prioritise spending time with my family and having a lovely holiday over my safety. For the same reason once my mum has had both vaccines I won't hesitate to spend time wher. You have to make the most of the time you have, you don't know how long you have left.

This is the problem with protecting elderly people by not allowing them to see their family, potentially you ruin the last years of their time together.

Aworldofmyown · 02/02/2021 18:51

summaluvin he was in tier 2 when the went. They have been back for nearly 6 weeks do unlikely that contributed.

Also, if I had a 90 year old great grandmother who really wanted to make sure she saw your new addition I would be completely isolating so we could do that for her. As this proves, she could have spent a year inside. Have a fall then end up in hospital and contract covid.

Abraxan · 02/02/2021 18:52

@Bunnyrun5

Yes it’s sad, but so unfair how he was allowed to have all his family at his bedside yet so many people couldn’t even say goodbye to their loved ones when they were dying.
Is it also unfair that my dh and mil was allowed to be with his father when he died in April? Or that my mum and her siblings were able to visit, one at a time, my nana when she died with covid (not of covid) in May? Or that my dad was able to visit my other nana the day she died in august?

Whilst some holidays still aren't allowing visits many others are permitting visitors for end of life and have done since April.

JaceLancs · 02/02/2021 18:52

So reminded me of my Dad (Sir Stan) who died last year at 94 - thankfully non Covid related and before pandemic so died peacefully surrounded by all who loved him
RIP Sir Tom
I found out this morning an ex colleague who was a huge champion for local people with learning disabilities and their carers has also just died
RIP Rose
Today was a hard day because of both of these and my thoughts and memories of those I’ve lost

bonbonours · 02/02/2021 18:52

@Abraxan that's good to hear. I felt so awful for my friend and felt that if it was me I'd have insisted on either being let into hospital or being allowed to bring her home to die among lived ones.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 02/02/2021 18:53

What a brave, inspirational man. A true war hero, who dedicated his last years, at 99 years old to doing good for the country. Compare that to some of the pathetic jokes in society whose biggest contribution to the country is squawking their sheep like protestations of how covid is a conspiracy theory and basically laughing in the face of dedicated healthcare professionals who are giving their all at the moment.

RIP Sir Tom and thank you.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 02/02/2021 18:55

@Bunnyrun5

Yes it’s sad, but so unfair how he was allowed to have all his family at his bedside yet so many people couldn’t even say goodbye to their loved ones when they were dying.
For goodness sake. My hospital has always allowed relatives of dying patients in to say their goodbyes. Shame on you to make such a dig (which I'm sure you'll insist wasn't a dig and that you were only pointing out). I see you.
Robin60 · 02/02/2021 18:57

I agree Summalovin, many older people (and their families)have sacrificed many special events this year in order that we may see the end of this dreadful disease.
Would the public be as sympathetic if Dominic Cummings had taken an elderly relative on holiday in December? I think not.....
I do feel terribly sad for Captain Toms family right now, at whatever age you lose a loved one it’s truly devastating.My thoughts are with them.

Abraxan · 02/02/2021 18:58

[quote bonbonours]@Abraxan that's good to hear. I felt so awful for my friend and felt that if it was me I'd have insisted on either being let into hospital or being allowed to bring her home to die among lived ones.[/quote]
To be fair it was still incredibly difficult as they had to be in ppe with masks, gloves and aprons. They had to take it in turns - 2 with FIL (their,were 3 of them) and 1 at a time with my nanas. And time with them had to be short until the very very end. It wasn't normal. It wasn't overly pleasant. But at least they were able to be there, albeit in less than ideal circumstances.

It just bothers me that people keep posting that he had visitors at this death simply because of who he was. This wouldn't have been the case. It will be because of where is is and the specific hospital's rules.

As for it being unfair that he had visitors as pp put - that again makes me feel saddened that people would be thinking that because if it's unfair he had visitors, then surely it's also unfair my relatives had visitors. It certainly didn't make everyone feel that way.

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