I don’t like this life.

[Maskedminger]

It’s been almost a year, everything changed, am still suffering from covid from March, am inside for 12 hours per day with my toddler. My ‘Old’ life seems a far away, distant memory, the only highlight is going to do the food shopping, feel there’s nothing to look forward to.
I’m starting to feel just nothing inside, anyone else?

@RuledbyASD

I feel the same way as most of you on here, but let's spare a thought for all those who had 5+ years of similar in 1939-45. Air raids, bombs dropping, rationing & shortages of everything - not just food. Only being allowed so many inches of bath water & so many bars of the gas fire etc and clothing coupons... No virus, granted but I expect bombs & the threat of Hitler overthrowing the country were far, far scarier. I think we have it much easier.

I don’t agree. The message during the war was “keep calm and carry on”. So people were still going to work, going to the pub, going to see their families. People could still fucking hug each other. This time, we are not being told to keep calm and carry on. We are being told to stay home, stay scared, don’t go to work, don’t go out at all, don’t go within two fucking metres of another person. That is not “much easier”.

DH has a rare day off tomorrow and said happily oh we can take youngest DS for a lovely walk. Off you pop then treacle coz its all I bloody do!

Thank you for this thread. I feel dead inside too. This isn't living. Can't wait for warmer days but feel sad to be wishing time away too. I just feel done with this.

@Annedunne181

Hi just to give you guys a different perspective that might help you. I was in ireland last year , we had a severe lockdown, I left and came to Mexico. I am working remotely so I can do it from here. Mexico is open to all travellers, and there are no restrictions at all here. All restaurants , coffe shops, night clubs and shops are open here.

In Ireland all restaurants and shops are still closed.

However, I was actually thinking today that I l kind of miss being in Europe suffering along with everyone else. That I am missing out on a very historic time. It is a very unusual thing that everyone is going through together. It is something important that people are living through.
I am actually thinking about coming back to Europe.

Are you taking the piss?? How on earth is that supposed to help anybody?!

I’m sorry that you’re suffering from misery FOMO but no, your perspective from your warm sunny country where life is carrying on as normal does not help. At all.

Yep. We're moving house on Friday. It should be exciting, and I should be packing, but i've spent the whole day in bed, sleeping on and off. Haven't moved except for the loo. Just so fucking fed up.

I don't think "end of globalization" as such, but I do think that migration rates (including the high-end "expat" stuff and also migration among the less well-off) will be less common as a result of all this.

I am in East Asia and so many western expats are going home. Many for good. There are far more advanced English speakers among the local population and more work can be done remotely. Expat culture won't end but there will be fewer people doing it.

Many lower paid migrants, meanwhile (maids, hotel workers, you name it) have in some cases ended up well and truly stuck---jobs lost, not able to return home, burning through their savings. People may well remember this and be more reluctant to travel for work in future.

Those of us who are part of international families/have married overseas are well and truly fed up as we can't travel and see our parents, siblings, cousins, friends back home etc. Lack of travel also means fewer people will form international relationships in the first place.

Falling fertility rates will also have an effect--people are warier of migrating overseas if they know that their own parents will be deprived of the chance to grow old alongside grandchildren, which is very easy to happen if you are an only child or if your only other sibling looks unlikely to have children.

@Maskedminger

But how long can this actually continue without us all losing our minds or doing some real damage to the children, it’s just too much now.

I think it will end or be under control before too long. Don't give up hope!

It's not even the worst I've ever felt, but it's the most numb.

So much this.

Arguably 2020 was not the hardest year of my life in most ways. I have been through some pretty bad times with mental and physical health etc, hell I was even in a psych ward for months as a teen, I have self harmed less since lockdown one after a relapse about 18 months ago.

Now, I just feel nothing. I can’t bring myself to care about anything or anyone really.

@RuledbyASD

I feel the same way as most of you on here, but let's spare a thought for all those who had 5+ years of similar in 1939-45. Air raids, bombs dropping, rationing & shortages of everything - not just food. Only being allowed so many inches of bath water & so many bars of the gas fire etc and clothing coupons... No virus, granted but I expect bombs & the threat of Hitler overthrowing the country were far, far scarier. I think we have it much easier.

Minimising current suffering like this doesn't take the suffering away, you know. It just adds to it. If you didn't live through that time how could you possibly know what it would have been like day to day, comparably. Just like now there would have been thousands of different individual experiences of it. Not necessarily easier or more difficult, just different.

Many lower paid migrants, meanwhile (maids, hotel workers, you name it) have in some cases ended up well and truly stuck

Yes- this is a total nightmare- I'm in HK and my helper can't go home to see her family. She lives in a remote part of Philippines and it would be something like 3 separate quarantines to get back to her village and then in reverse. However, I'm not sure they'll stop coming here to work because there's no other choice. Her whole family is all over the world - Dubai, Taiwan, Canada etc.

I agree with you on expat trends, although what I'm seeing here is that for people who were wavering, it's been a deciding factor, but it hasn't led to a mass exodus yet - of course we have other issues here as well which are making people decide to leave and making it much harder for Europeans/ Americans to get a working visa. Maybe the exodus will come once cases come down in Europe.

Everyone is in the same situation, so no point in feeling bereft. If things ever go back to being joyful again, just imagine how much you will relish, and enjoy and appreciate everything again.

@Dustyboots

Good god that’s depressing. I’m 40 and feel like I’m just starting my life. DS is nearly 16 and I look forward to romantic holidays; weekends away and doing what I please...at least I was before Covid. I feel like most, that I’ve been robbed of something. That my teen child is robbed of seeing his girlfriend and his friends; I’m robbed of my life beginning after devoting it to someone else for so long.
I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t know if I see it getting better. I’m just functioning day to day. I’m a teacher. I can’t sleep anymore. I’m awake all night and all day. I might grab a few hours in the afternoon, if I can.
I try not to be negative and I try to keep faith...but late at night, when I’m alone with my thoughts, I wonder how long I can keep this up.

I had a baby during lockdown. My family haven’t met my son. They have missed out on these precious early months that we will never get back.

DH works long hours. I’m exhausted, lonely and struggling.

I'm sorry to hear everyone struggling, it is a rubbish time. I'm getting through it by setting myself challenges and things to learn and accomplish. In January I did yoga every day, and I can now do Crow pose. By the summer I might be doing a steady handstand in the garden!

Well done Graciebobcat!

I feel the same way as most of you on here, but let's spare a thought for all those who had 5+ years of similar in 1939-45. Air raids, bombs dropping, rationing & shortages of everything - not just food. Only being allowed so many inches of bath water & so many bars of the gas fire etc and clothing coupons... No virus, granted but I expect bombs & the threat of Hitler overthrowing the country were far, far scarier. I think we have it much easier

I am fed up to the back teeth of people comparing this pandemic to world war 2. Wars and pandemics are two very different things and it is totally pointless comparing them. The challenges you face in those situations are completely different. It's like someone complaining that they just lost a foot to diabetes and you turning to them and saying "oh well, at least you don't have dementia! Now do you see how lucky you are to have lost that foot?". Useless comparison that teaches us nothing and only serves to make the person voicing their struggle feel like they ought to be coping better than they are.

Let people get this stuff of their chests. Be human, for goodness sake.

((Hugs )) to everyone going through these shitty times..My only hope right now is that in a few weeks time it will be March and the weather will get better. Playgrounds and parks will be a daily business by then.
Am already making a list of nearby playgrounds and parks..Visiting a new playground every week should bring some variety to my kids life.lol

I know I should feel hopeful with vaccines being given but I just feel numb. I'm 60, live alone with family who live at the other end of the country or overseas and I haven't seen them for over a year. I miss my DGC so much it hurts. I started out quite positive but now am going through the motions to get through the days. I often don't get out of bed till midday. I do go for walks with a single friend who is my 'support bubble ' and am grateful to have such a fab friend nearby but God it's a struggle. The Frankie Boyle comment " I've always expected an apocalypse, I just didn't expect it to be so boring' is so true. Bored but also scared . Not a great combo.

Everyone is in the same situation, so no point in feeling bereft.

People feel what they feel - whether or not there is any point to it.

OP - I completely understand your post. I was so happy yesterday that it was February, now it's snowing outside and I have to go to work, not so happy!

@teuer - sometimes Frankie Boyle hits the nail on the head.

It is definitely shit.

The way I'm thinking about it, we've got maybe six months left before vaccination gets to the level that we can get out properly again. It's a long time but not forever.

Set some goals like sorting little things in your house, making plans for where you'll go when stuff opens up, making holiday plans, etc. It makes me feel less like living in a grey cloud.

Also 12 hours at home every day - is there a play park near you? It helps my mental health a lot to go and chat to other parents in the nearby park. If you know someone with a kid the same age, you could always arrange to meet at a similar time regularly and make a thing of it, taking it in turns to bring toys or snacks to share.

Also if you can grow things or plant seeds, it helps measure the passage of time and always makes me feel hopeful.

Not downplaying the fact this is shit though. And soft play is hellish, you're not missing that much ;) a load of hyped up kids whacking each other, screaming and spitting cheese everywhere, and that's before your kid gets pushed or headbutted!

Totally feeling the same. Every day and every week is the same. There is nothing to look forward to, I feel like a robot going around on a program ... get up, go to work, come home, consider taking the dog for a walk around the same fucking street that we mooch around daily.

My dog is my sanctuary but she’s reactive. Before all this shit started I’d take her to the wasteland at the back of our house for an off lead run. I can’t do that anymore as there are fucking people EVERYWHERE. Yesterday I went out there at 7:30am in -2 degrees thinking we’d finally get some peace but nope ... people everywhere so I had to put her lead back on and basically headed home. There is dog shit everywhere because suddenly everyone has a dog. I booked a private field for an hour 2 weeks ago to use today which gave me a glimmer of something to look forward too ... but of course it’s been raining heavily all night and is predicted to rain heavily today so it will be like a mud bath. What’s the fucking point. The dog won’t enjoy getting pissing wet through anymore than I will.

I’m just fed up of everything now. I’ve had enough, I feel empty. It’s my 40th birthday in May and we were planning to go back to the USA on a ranch holiday. Well that’s not going to happen so we’ve booked one night in Northumberland ... looks like that might not happen either. Bollocks to it all.

Covid deniers are as bad as the Pollyannas. I hate how life is right now, but also feel somewhat traumatised by seeing how the Kent variant of Covid affected our area, like you go from not being touched by Covid to seeing the circle closing in and everyone you know has it, friends and colleagues in hospital. I'm tired of doing long shifts at work in a mask the whole time (retail). I worry that we still don't know everything about this virus, were told it's like the flu, clearly it's not. What of the people with long Covid, some permanently disabled, what of those bereaved from everyone that has died from it and they are lonely and haven't had proper funerals. I pin all my hopes on the vaccines and hope they make a huge dent in the numbers. My dc seem ok for now, their lives were all but normal from summer holidays until breaking for Xmas, seeing friends, their schools functioned well without need for bubble closures, extra curricular after school. My main thing is I hope they prioritise schools back ASAP, by vaccinating teachers and other keyworkers as well.

One thing that does concern me is the amount of time my DC spend on screens, they do all these live lessons on laptop or phone then they unwind by doing playstation or Roblox, Minecraft. But then again, thank God for screens, I'm not sure what I could do to entertain them otherwise and it seems to keep them happy and sane to disappear into their virtual worlds where they play and chat with their friends as well. Maybe I should try it!

It is shit...i am not a conspiracy theorist but I do think now our spirits are being crushed ad so angey with Boris and his indecision...vaccinate all teachers asap and kids can fo back to school.