I don’t like this life.

[Maskedminger]

It’s been almost a year, everything changed, am still suffering from covid from March, am inside for 12 hours per day with my toddler. My ‘Old’ life seems a far away, distant memory, the only highlight is going to do the food shopping, feel there’s nothing to look forward to.
I’m starting to feel just nothing inside, anyone else?

I agree that the government have no idea.

The government comprises busy people with purpose to their day and some degree of control. They cannot possibly know how people at home feel.

I registered to post this.

Do you really think the government cares about you? Or do they care about looking bad?

Are people really not seeing their partners and parents? Even those who have been vaccinated?

Do you really believe everything the media is telling you? Sure there is a virus out thbut why have countries reacted in different ways without much differing results?

There are some things you cannot do as they have been rightfully or wrongly been closed but you obey everything? Really?

At what point would you not obey?

So you get a fine? So you don't pay it? So you get into a confrontation? With authority? So what?

Not saying behave recklessly. But all this fear and hair shirts? Reasonable?

Yes, but when most people don’t feel that way, it’s a pretty lonely position!

Yes it’s very monotonous. Nothing to do and nowhere to go.

I would guess half the population’s mental health is shot to shit

Exactly, you’re not even allowed to say any of that..but many many think the same I believe.

I despise where I live.
I have started to actively dislike DC2 - whinging non stop, tears and tantrums.
I spend most of my working hours on the phone. I cannot do my job and homeschool simultaneously. It is not possible.
When I finish for the day, I have barely enough time to scramble eggs before sitting down to battle homeschool when it is too late for the children.
There have been school tasks I have completed myself just to get them done!
DH is locked away in an upstairs bedroom/office and his only complaint is he misses his colleagues.
I have piled on two stones, eating rubbish because i don't have enough time to cook properly and because I need the sugar to keep going throughout the day.
I read threads on MN telling me I should ensure my children exercise for 60 mins a day. Unless I reduce my sleep from six to five hours and wake them at 7am to go outside for a walk, I simply do not have the time.

Whatever I do, I am doing something else at the same time.
And the guilt is immense.
I wish I had never met DH and I had never had a second child and I had never moved from my previous address.

It has been the toughest lockdown for me too the miserable weather doesn't help.

@Chutneywashisname hang in there. My 2nd is a total whingeing DC he never stops tears tantrums and demands.
I miss the relationship with DD my first it is awful.
Let the school work cool off and insist your other half helps more it sounds like he has it handy.

KFB1978. It's not that I'm a strict believer about what I'm being told, it's that everything I used to do has been cancelled or closed so there is nothing worth going out for. I dislike shopping at the best of times, and certainly wouldn't go now that it is like some dystopian nightmare. I'm focussing on the forthcoming Spring, new projects, silly new challenges, and finally getting an operation I've been waiting for all last year. There has to be hope, or there is nothing.

Just as there's hope - it's whipped away from you.

I was clinging on - just - and now the South African variant is here. That's going to spread, isn't it?

Our kids will never get back to real life - not for a long time. Me - I've had my life. I don't mind being numb and sitting in this less than half life. But it's unbearable to see our kids living like this.

Same here. Dead inside and a shadow of my former self.

The government know people are beyond fed up and wont comply for long.

@Maskedminger

It isn’t a life, how can it possibly continue like this for much longer.

Well as someone said to me last year

" Enjoy Covid because the future is going to be hell ".

Part gallows humour with a hint of truth but it made me smile.

I don’t believe our Government have any idea what effect these lockdowns are having on “normal” people.

They do, but they also know the alternative to lockdowns is worse

Now we have them ramping up the fear with the new variant,so lockdown can go on and on and on and on

The Govt told us almost a year ago that "lockdowns would go on and on" but apparently some people were not listening, and they are still not listening.

There is always one! Is that you Matt Hancock. You keep telling yourself that! Meanwhile people are actually dying of many other things and mental health is taking its toll to a very high extent. History will tell yiu eventually how wrong you are. People dying WITH covid awww yeah people are actually being diagnosed late of many other things.

Expect high death rates and it’s not going to be WITH COVID.

Is it true that once the old and vulnerable have been vaccinated we will all be freed?

I'm sure I read that only yesterday somewhere.

I can't remember what's what anymore.

Is it true?

@KFB1978 - Do the government care about me - course not, I'm poor! No I'm not seeing my parents - there are no flights! Do I believe everything the media says? Erm, no - who does? And yes, I know there is a virus - I have Long Covid! Not sure much I can do about 'obeying' things being closed - I can hardly break into the swimming pool or sneak my child into school! Can't force OT to start running groups or make my Care co come over. Not sure it has much to do with obedience?!

Fear and hair shirts?! Yep, all this Covid stuff - I'm just putting it all on myself! And really you registered to say that?!

"Our kids will never get back to real life - not for a long time. Me - I've had my life. I don't mind being numb and sitting in this less than half life. But it's unbearable to see our kids living like this"

This. I know if I didn't have my daughter all this would have gotten to much for me now and I would have ended it. I'm trying to stay strong for her but I cannot see anything positive anymore no matter how hard I try. Thinking I'm going to have to go on anti-depressants again because if this goes on much longer I don't know what I'll do. I used to be so positive, happy-go-lucky and social. Now I'm yelling at my poor toddler for trivial things and crying daily. No doubt it's having lasting psychological effects on her.

I think if the vaccines don't work then it's game over for lockdowns. Thinking through to the worst case scenario, we will get to a stage where we have to completely recalibrate our approach to risk and "joy of living" vs. "fear of dying". Every winter, hospitals could be overwhelmed to the point where they just have to say "if you're over 70 with Covid, we won't admit you." Life expectancy will fall a lot but for me personally, I'd rather live to be 70 not in lockdown and with a functioning economy than 85 in partial lockdown for 5/10 years. Ask me again when I'm 69 though and you might get a different answer. That's the problem.

@merryhollybright my DD was also born in June. She’s also sitting up, babbling and has teeth. My family and friends don’t even know her. I know she doesn’t know any different but I’m so upset. I completely understand how you feel. It’s awful

I've never expected to live beyond 45. That's when my mum died.

Anything extra I count as lucky.

I personally don't get this obsession with eeking out years beyond 70. I know that sounds cold and callous. But honestly - I need to get my kids into adulthood and then it's time for me to move one.

Honestly I do wonder where this is all leading.
It really does feel like excuse after excuse and reason after reason as to why lock down has to continue.
This SA variant will be all over the uk. Then what? Another variant and another and another?
I honestly don’t know how much longer people can go on like this.
There has to be another way surely long term?

dusty I wouldn't mind a few more years than that but from observation I agree that extreme old age isn't all it's cracked up to be for the vast majority - in particular, dementia or having a stroke and losing speech/mobility terrifies me.

I asked the question - but nobody answered ...

Are we being locked down until the old and vulnerable have been vaccinated? Is that it? I read that somewhere. I was really shocked as I realised that all this was not to protect the under 50s and children etc. We are all being asked to do this to protect those who are living beyond an age that I believe we should be feeling entitled to be here.

And once they are vaccinated we will be thrown to the dogs.

Is that really the plan?

@Dustyboots

Is it true that once the old and vulnerable have been vaccinated we will all be freed?

I'm sure I read that only yesterday somewhere.

I can't remember what's what anymore.

Is it true?

Once the 4 top priority groups- which make up 88% of deaths- are done, and if it works to keep people out of hospital, then no reason why not, I guess. The whole point was to stop overwhelming the NHS, if they can stop the majority of people getting sick enough to need to be admitted/go to A+E, then surely lockdown can be eased. I hope.

There has to be another way surely long term?

I wonder if this could be the end of globalisation as we know it, so for example Aus and NZ who have gone for elimination can only do that and open borders if the rest of the world eliminates (because we don't know that the vaccine prevents transmission, only symptoms). I imagine there will remain countries where it remains rife and they just get on with it because they don't have the infrastructure to carry out mass vaccination systematically (a key point that is missing in the vaccine donation argument- no point in just shipping vials to a country with no primary healthcare infrastructure).

It is bloody hard and easy to get so depressed. I have bad days and not good days, but better days.

I am at home with my little one who has some Special Needs and has struggled. She can’t cope with school or engage in any learning at home. Things are very intense and full on!

My Mum has been shielding since March and is terrified, but has now thankfully had first vaccination. My Dad passed away, very suddenly, last year and that was a huge shock, for us all. My Mum needs a lot of support due to health reasons and the unbelievably hard year.

We have no support bubble available to us and it has been the hardest year!

I am starting to look with hope towards the Spring/Summer and certainly next year, hoping that the vaccinations will help.

I feel for our children, it is such a tough and very strange time for them.

Much love to everyone xx