AIBU - nationwide and their fucking spoken word poetry needs to fuck right off

[SimplyRadishing]

I was a good sport and calmly tolerated their gobshite "maybe the is best year of all" claptrappery nonsense in 2020...

I am now being subjected to yet more spoken word poetry and pointed hand gestures while wittering on about "Guineas shilling and crowns"

Fuck off nationwide
I just want to watch temptation island in peace and sing a long to the just eat jingle

🎤 Ta-cos to the chateaux yes please!

YABU- it's just your piss that's boiling. Spoken word poetry is refreshing and stunningly brave.

YANBU - Nationwide and their irritating ads are single handedly making lockdown at least 5% worse than it needs to be

I agree with you OP except one of the more recent ones about the older brother with younger siblings coming into his room was lovely. 'My door closes but never shuts' or something like that.

What's the one with the awful song about 'no matter what you're going through I WILL LOOK OUT FOR YOOOOOOOUUUUU!' Hate it.

YANBU

Yes yes yes yes yes yes

These annoy the fuck out of me and OH. Fuck off with your shite poems!!!!!!!!!

YANBU! Dh and I do marvel at how a bank managed to get poets to perform on their ads. Selling out or what!?! Although I wouldn't say no if they offered me some dosh for a jaunty Limerick.

There once was a bank called Nationwide
Whose adverts Mumsnet becried
They got loads of poets
And wouldn't you know it
They wrote what comes out your backside

@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth

A haiku for Nationwide

Kinder to our ears
Shagging foxes, angry cat
Torture us no more

Love this. As long as it's not read out by the bloke from the Asda adverts, which are my current winners for the 'rather stick all my knitting needles up my arse than listen to this' award.

I do agree with the hatred for the Nationwide’s shite poetry, but it pales into insignificance, for me, beside the Scottish government’s shite and patronising poems.

It is as if they are saying to the people of Scotland ‘We think you are so dim that you will only respond to government messages if they are conveyed via the medium of bad doggerel’. It has the tone of something you’d use with Infant school pupils to get them to wash their hands or not flush the wrong things down the loo.

YANBU - Nationwide and their irritating ads are single handedly making lockdown at least 5% worse than it needs to be

Nationwide can fuck off, and so can the genre of “bad Coronavirus poetry” that they have spawned. Lots of adverts now seem to have “uplifting” poetry telling us it is all going to be fine FUCK OFF.

I actually want to punch the tv every time that advert comes on! YANBU

Thank God it's not just
Me who thinks
Their adverts are totally
Shite.

Yep. I’ve found myself telling the pretentious twats taking themselves oh so fucking seriously as they recite their patronising drivel on those adverts to fuck off more than once - they can’t hear me but it makes me feel better. Ive also wondered whether they are actors who are inwardly cringing but desperate for work due to COVID, or the actual ‘poets’ (& if so whether they grew up with parents who praised them every time they did anything, no matter how crap they were at it so have a massively inflated/skewed sense of self importance & skill!?).

I imagine some spotty little advertising exec who hasn’t got a clue about real life must have pitched it & the clients were too distracted by the apocalypse to realise what a shit idea it was, or how it would have such a negative impact on potential clients...I do wish either way they would fuck off & stop annoying me! Nationwide can do one.

I hate hate hate these terrible poems. And whisper it - I hated Amanda Gorman’s poem as well. It’s just a form I do not like.

There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
That nationwide ad
So spectacularly bad
With another bank she is now dealing

@HostessTrolley

HostessTrolley

Good good

As soon as they come on I mute the TV.

@Tellmetruth4

The worst advert currently is easily the Saudi Arabia tourism board one inspired by the old M&S ads which is narrated by some breathy AI sex robot. Creepy as fuck and has not made me want to visit Saudi Arabia.

I have thankfully not seen this. My eyeballs are grateful albeit now somewhat fearful...

There once was a terrible poet
Who was wondering how they could show it
On the telly said they,
Nationwide, they can pay
Good money after bad they did throw it.

@visitorfromtheplanetzog @AStudyinPink

Shamelessly stolen from a rather different ‘there was a young woman from Ealing’ limerick

My people. I hate poetry at the best of times & these are clearly not those times.

Dear Nationwide,
Your poetry is frightful,
And far from delightful.
Tick box tokenism
Pretend-to-be wokeism.

I don't need a lecture, all holier than thou.
To remind me that things can be shitty just now.

So do reconsider, no poetry please
It's hard enough with this dreadful disease.
We need ads that inspire
And Send our hearts so much higher
Make love, not bore
So please. no more.

O Dear Nationwide
Your poetry has been decried
On Mumsnet no less
Where we all must confess
We think you should quit
Because your adverts are rubbish

I have to pause the telly and then fast forward over the advert as they give my DH and I the rage.

Doesn’t help that he has a BA and MLitt in Creative Writing so inevitably starts analysing the shit to me

I wouldn’t bank with Nationwide if they were the last bank in England. Mattress instead.

I can't bear any "poetry" adverts, and there seem to be a plethora of late. They usually go something like:

"Big chatters.
Big splatters
Let's hear it for the big matters
Big lights
Big shites
Big dogs in big tights"

And on and on and fucking on with some mawkish reference to the pandemic.

There once was a bank on High Street,
Whose adverts were not short and sweet,
A pain in the bonce,
I mute them at once,
Til somebody says Just Eat.

Til somebody says Just Eat

AAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

They can go to hell
Along with Lloyds bank and their feckin horses
And Halifax telling us how they are phoning us just to see how we all are!
Hello Spiderina. How are you?
By the way, we are going to start charging you 39 percent interest on the overdraft we have you. All the best byeeeee

Yes they are good awful, but from Nationwide’s point of view their building society is now being discussed on mumsnet. This means that nationwide will be one of the first buildings societies people who read this thread or remember the crap adverts will think of.

They don’t care if you like the advert they just want to be the first place you think of when it comes to mortgages.