AIBU - nationwide and their fucking spoken word poetry needs to fuck right off

[SimplyRadishing]

I was a good sport and calmly tolerated their gobshite "maybe the is best year of all" claptrappery nonsense in 2020...

I am now being subjected to yet more spoken word poetry and pointed hand gestures while wittering on about "Guineas shilling and crowns"

Fuck off nationwide
I just want to watch temptation island in peace and sing a long to the just eat jingle

🎤 Ta-cos to the chateaux yes please!

YABU- it's just your piss that's boiling. Spoken word poetry is refreshing and stunningly brave.

YANBU - Nationwide and their irritating ads are single handedly making lockdown at least 5% worse than it needs to be

And I thought I was the only one to hate these adverts....now I find I have friends!!

YANBU!!! They need to be banned I can't stand them!

My entry. It's called "Your adverts are shite"

Nationwide, your adverts are shite
When they come on the tv I cry in the night
They make me feel angry
They made me despair
Please please shove them somewhere
The next time I see them
I'm going to complain
"NOT THIS FUCKING SHITE AGAIN!!"

I like it! I do tend to forget it's a Nationwide advert though.

I thought it was a load of old shite, but at the same time I was pleased that Stephen Morrison-Burke got the contract. He talks a lot about the working class through his poems, and whilst talking poetry is not to my taste, it is a form of art and story telling.

Just like this is:

Oh Nationwide,
I tried, and tried
To enjoy listening to your poet
But in the end,
It drives me round the bend
It’s shite and we all know it.

YANBU

Also massively annoying

The radio advert for a building society - can't remember which one - voiced by Vicky McClure as though she works for them! Behave!

Nationwide, let me tell you
A story
I'm not loaded, I'm not
A Tory
I barely have anything left
To spare
At the end of the month
So there
Is no way I can take out a mortgage
On property
There is no variety of ISA you could
Offer me
My interest percentage in your adverts
Is nil
Hearing those spoken word poems
I just can't deal
So I'll give you an asset
To cash for free:
Your poems are shite
Take it from
Me

It's great work. Look at all this negativity creativity they've inspired.

@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth

A haiku for Nationwide

Kinder to our ears
Shagging foxes, angry cat
Torture us no more

Bravo 👏👏👏😂

🎶 chicken wings to the crib im sittin in 🎶

Yanbu! Enough already with that shite!

Inspired by crap poetry, I call this: Crap Poem 2021

Oh Daily Mail
Please don’t fail
To pick up on this thread
We need your might,
protect us from shite
Kill that N’wide ad stone dead

Or if you’re the Sun,
Help poets do one,
And piss off from my telly
Snoop Dogg can stay,
Call JustEat, yay!
Bring noodles to my belly

Or perhaps The Times
Could join our chimes
To stop this awful racket
You’d have to be mad
To enjoy that ad,
There, we’ve saved N’wide a packet

So don't watch commercial TV?
I can't stand the ad breaks, so only watch BBC or amazon prime.

Has it's disadvantages, I'm really really keen to watch "It's a Sin"

I do generally like spoken word poetry - not entirely certain whether I'd like poetry in praise of Nationwide.

I fucking DESPISE the Nationwide ads and have done for years.

The hatred I have for them, I know, is beyond normal.

The latest one makes me shout 'die' before I mute or quickly turn over.

Them twats who wanted to see the sunset together wouldn't have got to see it if I had my way.

I don't usually have anger issues. But they have given me the rage for years.

Worst thing is, our mortgage is with fucking Nationwide. I have told my husband I am prepared to pay the penalty to swap to another bank 😅😅

@bellver888

🎶 chicken wings to the crib im sittin in 🎶

My people!

I LOVE the poems.
The haiku in particular made me

Every time I see one I think “what a fucking bellend!”

@Bunchup

YANBU. Those adverts absolutely stink, and wanky spoken word poet is crap. All of it - including that total shite by Amanda Gorman at Biden's inauguration. Talk about the emperor's new poem.

You've been sitting on that one since Biden's inauguration for ages, haven't you? Feels good to let it out now, does it? 😂

@Thewishingchair123

I’ve just had a thought - maybe the best way to highlight to them just how much they are disliked is to write an actual poem about them I’ve called mine STOP

STOP
Please put an end to your adverts
They are driving us insane
Just when we think they might have stopped
You put a new one out again
Life is bad enough in lock-down
But they’ve reached an all time low
They piss the nation off, just put a STOP
Then I might give Nationwide a go ...

Other poetry entrants welcome, form an orderly queue

Awesome! They are very cringy. We mute the telly when they come on.

It’s not just Nationwide anymore. Dozens of companies are turning their ads into wanky little poems. Half the time they don’t even scan. That bloody Phillips shaver ad about how ‘If nanotech blades cut with precision, then a close shave is today’s decision’ makes me want to retch. ‘If I ever find out who thought up this crock, I’ll hunt him down and kick him in the cock’.

Even the low cost funeral ads are doing it now. ‘We’ve spoken to dad and he wants cheap and quick; We’ll keep the cash and chuck him in a skip’.

@JustCallMeTheGreatest

Awful. I mute them when the come on. How have they not realised that everyone hates them?

Snap, I mute them too.

It’s one the most talked about ad campaigns of recent years, undeniably original, and has spawned a load of copycat ads by the likes of Gift Gaff, O2 etc.

Sure it’s a little annoying, and the campaign has lost its way now, but I’m pretty sure that their head of marketing is laughing all the way to the building society with this one.

YADNBU!!

Gives me the absolute rage every time!

You’re right and I felt the same about Amanda whatserface at Biden’s inauguration. Just stop going on! Endless!

I love Just Eat with Snoop Dog, his forehead wrinkles up like a 5 year old having a tantrum, so cute!

The worst advert currently is easily the Saudi Arabia tourism board one inspired by the old M&S ads which is narrated by some breathy AI sex robot. Creepy as fuck and has not made me want to visit Saudi Arabia.

@Tellmetruth4

The worst advert currently is easily the Saudi Arabia tourism board one inspired by the old M&S ads which is narrated by some breathy AI sex robot. Creepy as fuck and has not made me want to visit Saudi Arabia.

Yes! Away with their weirdness.