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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think we need to have our dog PTS

155 replies

HastyPasty · 31/01/2021 07:55

Our dog has just attacked his sixth dog in the last two years and I am so distraught but I don't think we can carry on like this!

For background we adopted our dog when an elderly family member passed away two years ago. She was a complete recluse and the dog had never left her house/ garden or been trained. Despite that he loved our kids and they him and although dog was elderly (12 at the time) we thought we could give him a good home.

During the first week with us he attacked my brothers dog very badly (at this point we hadn't taken him out for a walk as we were getting him used to things). It was awful, there was no warning, he saw my brothers dog and just went for her. We did a lot of reading and spoke to a dog charity for some advise and then started taking him out for short walks. Then we realised how aggressive he is to other dogs. He seems to want to kill them all, the second he sees one he will try to attack. So far he has attacked -

My brothers dog
A drunk strangers dog who decided to bring his dog over despite me screaming at him not to
A small dog when he managed somehow to slip his harness and he nearly knocked the elderly owner over
A neighbours dog when he got out of a window, how he managed that I don't know but neighbour is utterly traumatised
Next doors dog when he actually dug a small tunnel under the fence to get to it (he had been doing this under a bush so neither of us noticed)

Then lastly, yesterday my adult child took the dog out and the dog managed to yank his lead out of his hand, escape and attack yet another dog.

It's honestly heartbreaking because my dog seems like the loveliest dog and we spend all our time together, but he is dangerous and so fast for an old boy.

Oh also since lock down he guards me. I think he got used to it being me and him during the day and hates the kids and DH being around and will growl and bark at them if they get too close to me when I am relaxing. He actually nearly went for DH the other day. This isn't constant, if I am up and about he's fine but if I'm laying on the sofa wathhing TV he starts.

Anyway I'm at a loss. DH is doing he usual let's wait and see (brilliant husband generally but does not do decisions like this and won't really discuss it) and I just would really appreciate other people's thoughts!

Oh PS I have tried a number of different muzzles and dog has managed to slip them all off in record time.

YANBU sadly dog is dangerous and needs to be PTS
YABU don't do it, try...

OP posts:

Santaiscovidfree · 01/02/2021 15:28

Op ask the vet for ddog to be sedated prior to the actual pts meds(was about another £50) . Vet snuck up on our ddog and a quick jab in the bum then he left the room. We had some private time stress free (for ddog anyway) without any interruptions .. (spy hole in vet doors). When ddog was barely aware they administered the meds. So much easier on us all. Again vet left the room for about half an hour. Came and checked for a heartbeat and ddog had passed away. Couldn't have asked for a better experience.. We had some more time sharing memories with the vet before we left. Ddog was put into refrigeration until the pet crem van collected her.
I won't lie, it's shit, and you will feel shit. We are nearly at the first anniversary and I still feel shit! But she didn't die under a cloud of having savaged someone which like you we could have had to face also.
Wishing you deep breaths and lots of tissues op..

lyralalala · 01/02/2021 15:43

I will try tomorrow but I want at least another week with my best friend.

I know this is a horrendously hard decision to make, but you are not in a situation that can wait a week. Dog is currently sitting on top of me because youngest daughter came to speak to me and he didn't like it is a bloody dangerous situation that you can't delay in sorting because his behaviour is escalating.

Good luck with everything

Emeraldeyes20 · 01/02/2021 15:52

@TheoriginalLEM I don’t think the dog would agree to him being put to sleep is in his best interest. Keep the dog away from other dogs, my dog’s muzzle doesn’t come off despite how hard she tries and she’s a strong spaniel .

Daisy829 · 01/02/2021 16:02

Oh op I’m sorry you are going through this. It does sound like he is struggling in some way maybe with pain or his own mental health. 14 is a good age for a dog & it sounds like he’s had a lovely home with you but if it’s reactive towards your children I think you’ve made the right decision. Sending love x

niveacreme · 01/02/2021 16:40

[quote Emeraldeyes20]@TheoriginalLEM I don’t think the dog would agree to him being put to sleep is in his best interest. Keep the dog away from other dogs, my dog’s muzzle doesn’t come off despite how hard she tries and she’s a strong spaniel .[/quote]
it’s a dog. It has no concept of life and death

RedRocketGirl · 01/02/2021 17:30

@HastyPasty

Hi, thank you everyone for all the comments. I have decided we can't carry on. Dog is currently sitting on top of me because youngest daughter came to speak to me and he didn't like it and even if I could make him stop this behaviour I cannot 100% guarantee he won't get out of the house again. The tunneling under the fence proved that. I can't muzzle him 24/7 either, that would be horrible. I haven't rung the vets yet because I need to make sure I'm going to be able to get the words out and I can't even write this without getting tearful. I will try tomorrow but I want at least another week with my best friend.

Sorry I didn't reply to everyone, I tried to yesterday but I keep getting too emotional! I really really appreciate the support I have found on this thread so much. DH has decided (separately) the same as me which is a relief as I also feel like we are in this together and I'm not a best friend murdering bitch on my own. DH even said he would go but there is no way I would ever leave dog in his last moments... Anyway so that's the decision. I'm heartbroken but will focus on the kids for a while, dog has sort of come first for a long time because of his behaviour.

Will try and update this thread once it's all done. Oh and dog does have a name, I haven't used it because this thread is fairly outing as it is and I don't want anyone ever letting slip to the kids that this happened because I am planning on lying through my teeth to them. I think all of them have inadvertently helped dog to escape at some point and I don't want them to feel responsible.

@HastyPasty I'm so sorry this is such a difficult situation and you've clearly tried incredibly hard. I don't know if it helps but some vets will come out to you, at least they did pre covid. It does cost more, but if your dog gets stressed going in it can feel kinder.

Thisgirlcanrun · 01/02/2021 17:34

I really feel for you OP - I am not sure that lying about the reasons for PTS to your children is the best course of action - how old are they ? Would they be able to understand that the greatest honour of owning a dog is being able to put it out of its misery when it is old, tired and sick? It is the hardest decision we can make as pet owners for a love that is unconditional ❤️

AIBU to think we need to have our dog PTS

CharlotteRose90 · 01/02/2021 17:40

This is heartbreaking but yes it has to be PTS. The first time a dog shows aggression things change but it’s happened 6 times. If I was the owner of the other dogs I’d be demanding the dog be put down. He’s a danger. What happens if it attacked a child next.

RandomUsernameHere · 01/02/2021 17:48

I don't understand your DH's attitude of "wait and see". Wait and see how many more dogs he will attack? Wait and see if he kills one next time?

Whalespeak · 01/02/2021 17:52

@HastyPasty
Its always helped me to try and remember that an agressive dog is not usually a healthy or happy dog to try and get out of the mindset of that pts is just for sick dogs. A dog showing those types of behaviors is usually very very stressed, and unfortunately sometimes that means that they are suffering.

Pts can be used to end that pain, just like it can be used to end physical pain. Your dog might be walking around but might just be in a different kind of pain.

simonisnotme · 01/02/2021 17:58

please don't leave it another week, surely its best now you have both come to a decision to sort it as soon as you can. what will it take to make you see that the dog is aggressive and dangerous. its an awful decision but one that needs to be done and soon

tsmainsqueeze · 01/02/2021 18:20

Hi , vet nurse here , i also think euthanasia is the right choice.
Ignore the judgemental comments , there is always someone who think they know better in an awful situation like this .
There are some problems with aggression that no one can solve especially when the dog had 12 years of no socialisation.
I think you are very kind to have given him a loving home .
I hope the little chap goes peacefully .

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/02/2021 18:24

Bless his little heart. It sounds as if it was broken a long time ago and he only knows how to hold onto you tightly. I will look out for your update.

Emeraldeyes20 · 01/02/2021 18:37

@niveacreme I totally disagree with you! Animals are more clever than you think !! I couldn’t have it put down !! Wouldn’t want that on my conscious, how on earth is that kind?

niveacreme · 02/02/2021 07:37

[quote Emeraldeyes20]@niveacreme I totally disagree with you! Animals are more clever than you think !! I couldn’t have it put down !! Wouldn’t want that on my conscious, how on earth is that kind?[/quote]
you can disagree all you want but you’re wrong. dogs have no concept of how many years they’ve been alive and what death even means

Whalespeak · 02/02/2021 08:07

@Emeraldeyes20
I'll bite.

Because pts is quick and painless. Would you accept it in a situation where the dog was in significant levels of pain and the most appropriate treatment options had been tried In? In most cases (and in this case by the sound of it) a dog that is agressive is an unhappy, stressed out dog. Obviously everything possible should be tried to work on the issue before hand but eventually it comes to either:

that the dog goes about its usual doggy life with nothing amiss, no extra causes of extra stress. Then a visit to the vets its the end.

the dogs life slowly becomes more shut in, the dog is now growling at kids so has to spend most of its time separate from the family. Everytime someone goes near his owner this dog is in full scale panic mode, every single day. Walks are obviously incredibly stressful and eventually dwindle right down. They wait for the dog to die of natural causes and he has less quality of life. The risk of being bitten and the sheer level of input which this dog requires is also an incredible ask of the family

I briefly volunteered for a no kill rescue, before realising that keeping dogs alive that have low quality of life, did not feel kind.

None of us know this person or this dog but its clear the current situation can not continue.

It sounds like lots of solutions have been tried here, the dog is older and lots of the further training at this point is likely to stress the dog out. This dog will not be able to be rehomed either

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 02/02/2021 08:21

You don't seem to think of the dog as a dog. It seems pleased with itself after it's attacked someone and it's upset with you because you didn't take it out? Do you think happy dogs attack other dogs? That's your guilt talking and you're assigning human emotions to a dog.

I also don't think you should lie to the kids. It's a vicious old dog, and it became a danger to everyone. You are doing the kindest thing. But your kids are now at risk, i hope it doesn't bite one of them this week.

Frazzled2207 · 02/02/2021 08:33

So sorry for your situation
I think you’re right to have run out of solutions, it’s the right thing to do.
However you were so kind to offer him a home when his owner died and give him some good times. If it wasn’t for you he might not have had any at all.

Merrz · 02/02/2021 09:15

Aww OP what a horrible situation to be in. Poor you and poor doggy I really don't think you have any choice, I think the dog becoming very possessive and protective of you is a real worry, what if it's not a dog he attacks next time and it's one of your kids. It was very kind of you to take him on and give him this lovely last years of his life, he was damaged goods beyond repair. Big hugs

Drinkarsefeck · 02/02/2021 16:45

I think you're making the right decision op. I've owned Lakeland/Patterdale terriers and they really are tenacious little buggers that will fight to the death! It does sound like your little chap has issues that could be connected to his age and health, which means it isn't a simple case of restraint and training. People who haven't encountered just how fast and determined they are will have no idea what they can be like, I personally think that a larger dog can be easier as they don't have the lightning speed. My only advice is that if you have made the decision to pts, then I'd do it asap, the longer you have to wait the worse it will be and you'll end up torturing yourself. Once its all over you'll feel the loss and upset, but also relief.

QuestionableMouse · 02/02/2021 17:28

@Emeraldeyes20 have you been there when many animals have been pts? I have, from a hamster to farm animals and horses. They have no concept of death or dying. They feel no fear as long as they're handled kindly and in many cases its the only way to relive suffering.

My boss' horse was hit by a van while they were out hacking. He had a badly broken back leg with no hope of recovery. What else could be done?

The op's dog is in the same situation - he's not suddenly going to get better and he's hurting other animals. There's not much point in dragging out another few years of him getting gradually more snappy and miserable while being a danger.

Veterinari · 02/02/2021 17:46

@HastyPasty

@HastyPasty

I'm so sorry. Just catching up with this thread.

Your update is heartbreaking. But please remember that the pain of this decision is all yours. Your dog is calm, unaware and to him things are normal. He doesn't have the stress of your knowledge.

It's very likely he has underlying pain and cognitive decline to cause his deterioration. Please take comfort from the fact that his passing will be controlled, peaceful and respectful. You're saving him from himself. If he's so anxious that he's growling at your children after years of living together, then he's not well. He would not want to hurt them, and your decision is protecting him as well as them. His condition will only decline if you don't act.

Take the time that you need. Post here if you want, but you owe us nothing.

Look after yourself

Emeraldeyes20 · 02/02/2021 22:34

@niveacreme ha ha if you say so ! If they’re so stupid how come my dog runs and hides as soon as I get the flea treatment out ? She never does this until she sees the package being opened ! But according to you they have no concept !! Utter tripe

niveacreme · 02/02/2021 23:03

[quote Emeraldeyes20]@niveacreme ha ha if you say so ! If they’re so stupid how come my dog runs and hides as soon as I get the flea treatment out ? She never does this until she sees the package being opened ! But according to you they have no concept !! Utter tripe[/quote]
no concept of death. read the post properly 🙄

Veterinari · 03/02/2021 08:01

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