AIBU to wish alcoholic dh was dead

[rOsie80]

!

Be careful what you wish for.
Can you leave ?

I know that feeling. Hugs

Jesus Christ, what an utterly grim thread.

I get that it’s awful, I’ve been there, but wishing someone dead isn’t the answer. Work out how to leave.

Mine did, in the end. Oesophageal cancer (booze related). He was the life and soul of the party to those who didn't live with him. To those who did, he was spiteful and domineering.

I know that feeling. Are you safe?
Do you have any options to leave?

I have been there too OP.

I'm so much happier now we are separated. I would definitely recommend doing everything you can to leave. I wish I'd done it years before.

Depends as my husband is a high functioning alcoholic with a full time job
I wouldn't wish him head!

I've had to deal with close family with alcoholism and understand

I used to wish for this when I was with my ex. The nights when he vanished on benders and I sat at home with a toddler and a newborn hoping he’d never come home.

In the end I summoned up the courage to chuck him out. He moved abroad and died a few years later. I feel sorry for the kids that they lost their dad but relieved that he’s dead and will never muck me or them around again.

I understand. My Mum was an alcoholic. Life is so much better since she died. I still long for 'a mother' but not the one I had.

I've been there too. So much happier now we are no longer with him. So much safer too. If you can, please leave. Al-Anon may be helpful. Just escape and do what is best for you. You can't help him if he won't be helped and feeling as you do will damage you. Sending love

I lived with an alcoholic dh . I get it and used to wish the same .

I get it, DD's dad is still an alcoholic. He's now having blood tests due to ill health, caused by the drink.

Dd is now 12, my heart breaks to think how she'll take the news when he eventually dies from it.

Are you ok OP? Do you want to talk about it? There's lots of people on this thread who have lived with alcoholics and know where you're coming from, me included. When I was a child I used to pray that my mum would die. Its an awful life, living with an alcoholic.

Another one who understands, OP.

Ooft.

Lots of leaps there from posters who know absolutely nothing about the situation other than "!".

Leave him op.

RootyT00t

It's called empathising, helps to op to know she's not alone if she wants to share more information.

I understand. When they did die it was huge relief. My DB and I say it was the best day of our lives.

YANU at all. I was with an alcoholic for years until I realised I couldn't help him - he had to want to help himself

I confessed similar thoughts about my alcoholic dh to a friend.

Friend pointed out that he probably will drink himself to death. But that could take ten years and by then it would have taken its toll on me.

Far better to leave as soon as possible. 💐

Let us know you're both safe OP.

OP, I completely understand how you feel, and yanbu.

I know that feeling too well is it possible to leave?

I get it too