to think that the effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?

[SmudgeButt]

Look I have no doubt that lots of kids are missing their friends, school, grandparents. And all of these things will effect their development and mental health. But is it really that bad a situation compared to other things in the past?? Or is it just that we talk about it a whole nauseatingly more?

I'm thinking that the current situation isn't a patch on the effect of living in a country that's at war - thinking back to WW2 and the effect of being suddenly shipped off to strangers in the countryside or even to a different country. Thinking of those children in Europe who suddenly had to fend for themselves in Jewish ghettos or concentration camps.

People that survived (yes a lot didn't as they were murdered) no doubt had lifetime impacts but so many of their children say "dad was always cheerful, never talked about what happened".

AIBU to think that in a few years kids of today will say "wow, that was weird and I'm glad it's over, now let's get one with life" ?

[quote Notthis2]@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom
Very wise words and potentially the op has started this as a wind up anyway...[/quote]
I wondered that, but as they did come back I was less sure. Didn't look like the classic "wind em up and watch em go" job, although it could be.

But even if OP doesn't really believe it, I've know several people who do. And none of them had anything to contribute, on youth mental health or anything else.

@CountessFrog

Agree with the above poster who said that an experiment like this would never obtain ethical approval.

School closed, fine. Let them mix in groups outdoors then.

but it's not a social experiment, that's what some people forget.

There are no restrictions for the sake of restrictions.

When I was 16 both parents were diagnosed with depression (bereavement and a job loss). Difference was I spent weekend nights at my best friend's, Saturdays working, Sunday with my boyfriend, and was at 6th form all week. There is no escape at the moment from a less-than-ideal home life, whether it's a tense atmosphere at one end of the scale all the way to an abusive household.

This forum is the first to say that couples shouldn't stay together for the kids as they will always pick up on unhappiness.

@IDontMindMarmite

There's been more deaths than ww2 and ww1 combined so let's not underestimate the fear we are living in.

What on earth are you talking about? Approx 75 million people died during world war 2 alone.

Its so unoriginal in fairness , I've heard the war comparison brought up so much in RL and always by the same types of people...
We've had no issues in lockdown and actually homeschooling suits my dcs, they are also very active and so are we so we have more time to spend outside now then before with school and school runs etc .
But to lack the basic empathy that its a very different story for so many and to blame parents for the children's reactions or mental health issues is so low.

If I see one more, just one more "but it's not as bad as ww2" take on this pandemic I am going back to hard drugs.

This type of thread makes me so angry.

The argument that it could always be worse and comparison to the war and concentration camps is beyond stupid....

What is so hard to grasp about kids struggling to cope with the current crisis?

Virtue signalling and smugness at its best.

Please get yourself a real hobby rather than posting this type of nonsense.

Mine really struggled during the first lockdown with the change in routine, mainly I think due to him having asd (he usually attends a specialist setting), and this massivly effected his behaviour as he can have violent outbursts. This time we’ve been able to send him in as he has an ehcp which is definitely the right decision for us in maintaining his routine and some social interaction. There’s a lot more Sen kids that have been given places this time (sadly not all that want one) which I think is good. Maybe when they go back there could be a phased return so kids that are struggling emotionally go back earlier and kids that are perfectly alright and enjoying it stay off longer if it’s no big deal to them. I recognise what an absolute nightmare this would be in practise though, there’s already even moaning about it not being fair that Sen kids are allowed in

It’s more civilian deaths in the pandemic thst in ww2, majority of deaths in ww2 were not civilian so actual deaths in ww2 far higher

I didn't belittle anybody. I didn't say anything about what other people should or shouldn't do. I stated what we did.

Circuits were done in a park. Tree House was pallets and scrap, the whole point was doing it without noney. Music lessons and instrumnts free in their state school.
They read a lot of books and do have a garden..... Shoot me.
Incidentally we are both self employed, I have low income so self employed grant minmal. Husband is main wage earner newly self employed late in 2019 and gets nothing. Zero financial assistance for 12months. So we are struggling financially desperately. But yeah, I am a real shit for making the best of it🙄

NO !!! Why don't you tell that to my DD , who hasn't seen any of her friends for months, has gone from A student to barely passing , gone from being studious to not caring if her school work is done , gone from being a healthy sporty child to doing nothing day in day out , gone from being happy to hating everyone including herself . My DD is barely recognisable from the girl she was 12 months ago - and my worry is that she will never get back to that despite my best efforts .
So no OP - the effect on children's mental health has not been under estimated . Also , your post just makes parents like me who are suffering with their child day in and day out pissed off

I disagree. I think we are sleepwalking into a mental health crisis. Not only children.

There are few who do not have any effects of this pandemic. We have people who are now terrified to step outdoors. Terrified to see family.

I have seen the effects on my own children and interestingly the people in my own circle who were full of "it's just resilience we need to build in children" to me when my youngest in particular really suffered in the first lockdown, are now noticing it in their own this time around. The big difference for my own children is they can still meet friends (we are in Scotland) so my youngest is under 12 so has no requirement to social distance and can meet a few friends at a time. That's had such a positive impact on him. My eldest is a teenager, and can meet up with one friend, socially distanced. Again that's really helped him. Their existence shouldn't be their parents - meeting friends and talking about concerns etc is important.

We need to remember not all kids are in a great home environment, not all kids have access to outdoor spaces. Kids listen to the news and have far more access to it via internet than previous generations- we need to be honest with them, not just put on a jolly "all will be ok" facade. They see through that, but often play along as not to upset their parents but then worry more

@Mang0Mel0n

happylittlechick

You really don’t understand the full picture of mental health, it often doesn’t work like that.

And sorry others having it worse in refugee camps is irrelevant for struggling children it really is.

Teens dying in the trenches in WW2 really aren’t going to stop a mental health crisis today. Kids in the 40s would have been mostly oblivious to much of the horror- no tv, limited radio and just newspapers for news which they probably weren’t reading.

Dragging WW2 into this is ridiculous.

It's not about people having it worse. It's how they deal with it. Most People in these worse situations are not suffering mental health problems years later.

There is a huge difference between people with diagnosed mental health conditions and people feeling a bit anxious (as we all are) and then claiming to be suffering with their mental health.

I understand that this is shit for everyone I just think that if your child is fed, warm and loved then they should be able to cope with this for a few months. (Diagnosed conditions aside)

All children should be taught in school early intervention strategies for prioritising mental well-being. How to be aware of your mental well being and how to cope when it's not at its best.

I just think that if your child is fed, warm and loved then they should be able to cope with this for a few months.

This just ‘fingers in the ears, la la la’ though.

We’ve never forcibly kept children from their peers and extended family before. We have no idea of the long term consequences of this extremely unnatural act.

We already know from expert analysis it’s affecting many children badly, who knows what will come out of the woodwork in the future.

It isn’t ‘a few months’ as you well know. Some children have been under stringent restrictions for almost a year now.

How to be aware of your mental well being and how to cope when it's not at its best.

Mental well-being is a priority in schools, but as with all parts of education parental input makes a huge difference.

Telling someone things could be worse when they are upset is like telling someone things could be better when they are happy.

At Christmas, when your kids were happy with their presents, did you tell them to shut up and think of all the better-off children who got more presents than them? No, you let them be happy. Now have a think why you're OK with letting people be happy, but not OK with letting them be sad/angry/frustrated/bored.

THAT is why it's important to talk about mental health. It's called emotional regulation and it's the foundation of a healthy, functioning society.

I just think that if your child is fed, warm and loved then they should be able to cope with this for a few months. (Diagnosed conditions aside)

I don't even know where to begin with this level of disingenuousness and wilful ignorance. At least I hope that's what it is...

I don't think the OP was trying to turn this into a competition to see whos got it worse, or whose had it worse.
As parents we will have different attitudes because some of us have kids that are suffering more than others, whilst others may actually see benefits instead of negatives ,l have a teenager that absolutely hated school, developed an acute panic and anxiety disorder and was seriously considering taking his own life because of it. I received very little empathy and understanding from other parents whose own kids were doing well at school. And the support from the school was useless, infact very damaging due to their lack of understanding.
So as always two different sides of the coin concerning this discussion, depending on how you are personally viewing it.

I just think that if your child is fed, warm and loved then they should be able to cope with this for a few months. (Diagnosed conditions aside)

It's not a few months though is it? It's a year. To a young child a year seems like a lifetime.

I think we are allowed to agree that COVID is a dangerous disease and still accept that children are suffering. Even those who are fed, warm and loved. Heaven help the ones who aren't

My dd started school in sept 2019. She had just started to make friends etc and then it was all pulled out from under her feet. To a 5 year old a year is a lifetime, it seems like ages cause if you are 5 are year is 1/5 of your life. I'm fed, warm and have a roof over my head should I be more resilient and not get anxiety attacks. If you wouldnt say it to an adult suffering from MH issues you shouldn't say it about children. And if you do say shit like that to adults then you are just a shitty person tbh.

For gods sake. Yeah, the war looks like a right laugh.

I swear to god, if I see one more person comparing this situation to WW2, I might actually have a nervous breakdown.

Think of it another way.

Those children who were evacuated and lived through WW2 were LUCKY. Why? Because if they were born a few hundred years ago they'd have been expected to fight, from very, very young.

Does that make the suffering of WW2 children any less? No.

In turn, does that make the suffering of our children any less now? Also no.

It's ridiculously stupid to compare them to something they have no experience of. Their entire worlds have changed, turned upside down, of course it's going to have an effect. Telling them someone else had it worse in the past is pathetic and cruel.

Without lockdown we’d have unimaginable horror and many more deaths (including more excess deaths) which would arguably be worse for young people in the long run.
Or maybe we would have herd immunity, have freed up fallow assets for a younger generation, have reduced the labour pool and pushed up wages, have saved billion of pounds spent on what has proven to be useless projects, have reduced house prices, and have a robust population that was building immunity rather than building a vaccine dependant community.

I lived abroad as a child due to my dad’s job. One of the countries we were in experienced a civil war. We lived away from the base and several times had to be collected and taken to safety when the fighting got close to our village.

I was eventually evacuated home with my mum and siblings but my dad had to stay. We weren’t allowed to return home to collect anything or say goodbye to anyone.

Back in the UK we lived in a room at a relatives for nearly a year before my dad came home. I can honestly say this has had a significant impact on the type of adult I am now. And I’m finding lockdown bloody hard and do actually have some minor experience of war to compare it to.