DM's early childhood was dominated by WW2. She couldn't remember peace. She was bombed out twice in close succession which the Dr attributed as the trigger for coming close to dying from pneumonia. Her war memories are about family pulling together in adversity.
Further damage was caused by her broken father after the war. Her brother born after the war has been damaged by that toll. Her father comitted suicide 20 years after the war, but it was caused by his war injuries and experiences and the chain of events after.
One sign of DM's background is the hoarding and sentimentality over anything no matter how broken or useless. There are still consequences to the traumas in her childhood.
My DCs are relatively privilaged, but their childhood has very different goalposts to their grandmother's. Education and grades are much more valued and faliure to get them has a far higher socio-economic cost than not having an academic background in the 40s/ 50s. I would be breaking the law to turf them out in the street to play freely in a group of children!
DS1 isn't too bothered by lockdown... the costs will come later. His EHCP is delayed. I'm obstructed from researching appropriate secondary schools. Time will tell how much I can compensate for that when making a snap decision for his secondary application in September. If I get it wrong, the costs could be huge.
DS2 worries me more. His friendships weren't well established, and the two-tier education system meant that the group of boys he favoured continued in school for the majority of the 5.5 months that DS2 did not step through the school gates. He did not integrate back with them Sep-Dec. He hasn't got a friend. He buries his head in my lap during live lessons. His social confidence has evaporated, not helped by his only playmate being a dominant older brother who is easily triggered into meltdown. He flinches easily because he expects his brother to hit him at any moment. I wrote to the headteacher the night that lockdown was announced about how they need school because of DS1's multiple SENs and the depressed behaviour that DS2 displayed in lockdown #1. She didn't reply.
I can not give DS2 the one thing that he craves most and would bring him happiness, because I am not a 7 year old playmate. School would also take a dim view of criminal damage to smash in a way to let DS2 in.
I was resiliant following my dad's sudden death in the street when I was 11... because 2 days later I was back with the routine and structure of school, school friends to talk to and a 6 hour window of normality when I didn't have to face grief.
Lockdown robs children and young people of what they need to be resiliant. Resiliance comes from security, not ignoring shit.
My children's experiences are their own. It's not top trumps for validity of experience.
Some children are fine.
Some children are going through the most awful avoidable, unsupported or aggravated life shit.
Some children already haven't survived.
The government has repeatedly made choices that hinder children or overlook their needs causing unnecessary damage.