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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by the Duchess of Cambridge's claim that home schooling is 'exhausting'

911 replies

Livingtothefull · 29/01/2021 21:43

www.edp24.co.uk/news/kate-middleton-video-call-parents-homeschooling-challenges-pandemic-7080128

I accept that lockdown has had an impact on everyone to some extent, however privileged. But I can't help being irritated by this. Even if we accept that she is doing the home schooling herself without any help, I don't think there is any comparison between her situation and that of many other people. I am not saying lockdown isn't difficult for her.....but it is a million times harder if you are say a single parent, struggling with home schooling and a minimum wage job which you may lose any time, worried sick about your and DC future if this happens. And doing it in a poky flat instead of a vast country estate.

And I know she may be trying to show empathy with the rest of us. But TBH I would have much more respect for the royals if they would just acknowledge their privilege rather than claim common ground which just isn't there.

OP posts:
DeeCeeCherry · 29/01/2021 22:28

I don't believe she does the homeschooling herself. Her children will have (socially distanced) tutors. Access to the absolute best, whether personal or online

Her comment sounds patronising and she should've just kept quiet on this occasion.

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:28

@GrouchyKiwi

Just living in the same huge house as three young children, with a literal team of housekeepers, chefs, gardeners and nannies attending to your every whim, is not exhausting.

She probably doesn't need to see or hear from the children from one day to the next if she doesn't fancy it.

She may, at worst, be a little bit bored and irritated she can't get her hair and nails done.

You can tell from the way the children interact with their parents in public that Kate and Wills are with them all the time.

Sure you can.
minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:30

@nursejekyll

Why would they have tutors? Tutoring at home wouldn’t be allowed under the current lockdown.
Household staff can still work.
SunshineCake · 29/01/2021 22:31

So sad that some people just don't know what they are talking about.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 29/01/2021 22:31

She probably doesn't need to see or hear from the children from one day to the next if she doesn't fancy it.

Do you think most mothers would choose not to be their own children simply because it's an option?

Why should she be any different even in difficult times?

spaceghetto · 29/01/2021 22:31

Yabvu. There's always someone in a worse off situation, does that mean you're not allowed to find things difficult?

Original poster
Livingtothefull · 29/01/2021 22:32

I acknowledged in my post that everyone will be finding this hard however privileged. This situation is taking its toll on everyone and we are all allowed to find it hard...but it is just a fact that it is much harder on some than others.

And no I am not jealous. I don't think I am among the worst off; although I have a disabled DS at the moment his college is open and I can work from home, and I have no job or money worries (at least at the moment). I personally know many people who are having a much harder time and as a result am very careful about who I complain to.

And is it too much to ask that the D of C as a public figure should be really careful about what she says, more than the average person? What would be wrong with her just admitting that she is better off than most others and focusing on offering support? It is called 'leadership'.

OP posts:
minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:32

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

She probably doesn't need to see or hear from the children from one day to the next if she doesn't fancy it.

Do you think most mothers would choose not to be their own children simply because it's an option?

Why should she be any different even in difficult times?

Have you ever spent much time with these kind of families?
Piglet89 · 29/01/2021 22:32

@thewinkingprawn has it right. Exactly what I would have said.

CandlesBlanketsandTea · 29/01/2021 22:34

It would be interesting to see the responses on here if it was the Duchess of Sussex that had made that comment and not the Duchess of Cambridge.

I can't stand the RF and think they should all just resign, I'm still disgusted that Prince Andrew remains a prince and we have to pay for his security.

RavingAnnie · 29/01/2021 22:34

I am not a fan of the royals but I really do hate this perception of so many people that if you have money then you can't possibly ever find life hard or have any problems. It's bullshit. Obviously.

She is allowed to find things exhausting.

I am also fucked off now with the lockdown. I am bored and low. My husband is bored and low. We don't have young children and both have our jobs still so there are people out there in much worse positions than us. We are still bored and low and it's ok for us to feel that and say that even though others may have other worse stuff going on. There always someone worse off than you!!

As others have said. It's not a competition.

nursejekyll · 29/01/2021 22:35

Her children were at school before lockdown - they weren’t home schooled and so tutors couldn’t have been brought in without breaking the rules.

Whitecup4 · 29/01/2021 22:36

Yabu.

You have obviously misunderstood. Did you want her to say “yes, it’s hard for you commoners but I’m doing ok jack”?

I understand you don’t want empathy but she is a human too, even though she is rich and is probably feeling some type of effect from lockdown too.

It isn’t a race to the bottom.

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:37

@nursejekyll

Her children were at school before lockdown - they weren’t home schooled and so tutors couldn’t have been brought in without breaking the rules.
Can you link to the rule that your can't employ new staff during lockdown?
ufucoffee · 29/01/2021 22:37

I don't think they'll have tutors. They won't be taking any chances with the heirs to the throne. I believe her that they are doing it themselves and are feeling the strain.

Annabell80 · 29/01/2021 22:37

I said she has staff (and her husband) to help not that she doesn't do anything. Or do you honestly believe that she and William have sent all their staff home for lockdown?
They don't understand what it's like for ordinary people and they have massive privileges over the rest of us.
Unless you think parents struggling on low income working long hours and trying to home educate their children actually have it better than Catherine and William.
Yes she can find it tough obviously but it's not on a par to what most other parents are dealing with.

Marnie76 · 29/01/2021 22:37

She was asked to give a one word answer to how parenting was during Covid. One word. What one word could she have used that would have pleased people?

joystir59 · 29/01/2021 22:38

I think she is way out of order and way out of touch. So entitled and such a ridiculous statement to make. She can eff off with the rest of the royal shower of sh*te

ScreamingBeans · 29/01/2021 22:38

Yes YABU.

I'm a republican but FGS they're just people, they get tired too.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 29/01/2021 22:38

I try to pop up to Balmoral at Christmas time if I get the chance, minniemango but it's been forever dahhling. :o

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:38

@Marnie76

She was asked to give a one word answer to how parenting was during Covid. One word. What one word could she have used that would have pleased people?
Outsourced?
hamishpottery · 29/01/2021 22:39

She would have been criticised either way.

Everyone can feel any emotion, she could well feel exhausted. Yes, other people more so, but it's not a competition.

BarbarAnna · 29/01/2021 22:39

It was ill judged. She shouldn’t have put herself in this situation where she had to answer or she should have come up with a different one word answer. There are people suffering real hardship in this country. Really struggling in many ways. Financially, physical or mental health, loneliness... With little or no support. And no way out. I don’t doubt that Kate may be suffering with her mental health. But she has lots of support available to her and she has lots of options. She is a rich woman with a strong family network around her and she has options.

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:41

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

I try to pop up to Balmoral at Christmas time if I get the chance, minniemango but it's been forever dahhling. :o
They have 24/7 maternity nurses, nannies on a rota that cover day and night, and then they send the kids to boarding school. Upper class families have a different culture. They are not desperate to spend every precious moment with their children.
tsmainsqueeze · 29/01/2021 22:41

I am quite indifferent to royalty , i feel a little uncomfortable of their privilege in todays society .
But , D of C comments about finding it hard have rubbed me up the wrong way .
Perhaps she is finding it hard but she should have kept her mouth shut , she has no idea what the reality is for some .
All the hardships she will never experience , she has got it wrong this time .
I'm sure all the single parents with 3 kids , working their arses off can really relate !