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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by the Duchess of Cambridge's claim that home schooling is 'exhausting'

911 replies

Livingtothefull · 29/01/2021 21:43

www.edp24.co.uk/news/kate-middleton-video-call-parents-homeschooling-challenges-pandemic-7080128

I accept that lockdown has had an impact on everyone to some extent, however privileged. But I can't help being irritated by this. Even if we accept that she is doing the home schooling herself without any help, I don't think there is any comparison between her situation and that of many other people. I am not saying lockdown isn't difficult for her.....but it is a million times harder if you are say a single parent, struggling with home schooling and a minimum wage job which you may lose any time, worried sick about your and DC future if this happens. And doing it in a poky flat instead of a vast country estate.

And I know she may be trying to show empathy with the rest of us. But TBH I would have much more respect for the royals if they would just acknowledge their privilege rather than claim common ground which just isn't there.

OP posts:
catatecheese · 29/01/2021 22:41

She has a nanny and housekeeper and God knows what else. Plus herself and willy who are hardly stressed out on work conference calls whereby they need the job to pay the bills.
They also live on a massive estate.
I'm sure she is lovely etc but honestly she hasn't a clue of how much of a nightmare this really is for an average family.
Also I have hair jealousy!

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 29/01/2021 22:42

They have 24/7 maternity nurses, nannies on a rota that cover day and night, and then they send the kids to boarding school. Upper class families have a different culture. They are not desperate to spend every precious moment with their children.

What, all of them?

Gosh.

JKRismyhero · 29/01/2021 22:42

Agreed.

Dippingoutofdowndawg · 29/01/2021 22:42

It was the point during the interview where she claimed she’d had to learn how to become a hairdresser - whilst she sat there with perfectly coiffed locks. Why make these ridiculous statements. They’re really not necessary or believable - especially as your DH or HRH is almost bald anyway!

Viviennemary · 29/01/2021 22:43

If she said it was easy there would be even more criticism. I don't really approve of the concept of royalty but I think she does her best in the position she's in.

SonjaMorgan · 29/01/2021 22:46

I'm not a royal family fan but I saw her once shopping in a supermarket with her children in tow.

BluePheasant · 29/01/2021 22:46

I mean they're nice enough people and very privileged and hey, if I had that kind of money, my children would be in private education and I'd have people to do all the shit I didnt want to do. BUT please spare us the insult of trying to make out your life is in any way similar to us normal folk. Because it just isn't.

Forf0cksake · 29/01/2021 22:46

YABU. She was asked to describe parenting during lockdown in ONE word. What one word would you have deemed more appropriate OP?

fullofhope100 · 29/01/2021 22:46

@Aquamarine1029

Ffs. She may be privileged, but she's still a human being and the mother of 3 young children. Why can't she express how she feels, too? Honestly, she can't win with some people.
Exactly. FFS.
Norwayreally · 29/01/2021 22:47

I think she was trying to be relatable and it’s fallen flat because many people are genuinely exhausted right now and she most likely isn’t or at least not in the same way.

Sure, she’s a Mum of three young children but they have enough money to pay for people to cook, clean, tutor and care for their children. They also don’t have to worry about job security or paying the bills like many people are right now. So yes, it’s jarring to hear someone so very privileged say they’re exhausted at a time when millions of people are on their knees.

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:47

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

They have 24/7 maternity nurses, nannies on a rota that cover day and night, and then they send the kids to boarding school. Upper class families have a different culture. They are not desperate to spend every precious moment with their children.

What, all of them?

Gosh.

No I'm sure Wills & Kate are totally different and really hands on Grin Maybe they've even changed a nappy and sleep with the baby monitor?
HarrysWife · 29/01/2021 22:47

I dont really think its fair to compare 1 situation against another. She didnt say she had it the hardest, she said it was exhausting. Which, for her, it is. For me, in my situation, it is.

When my DFather had cancer and only a few months left I remember spending the day planning his funeral with him and who to ring once he had passed and how he wanted to go (at home vs cancer unit etc). He died in his 50s and a fantastic man so to say I was angry and feeling short changed was an understatement. I got home that night and my friend called round unexpectedly. She had no idea what I had been doing that day (as I didnt like to discuss it and it was a bit of a conversation stopper). She spent the next few hours complaining, over a glass of wine, how hard her day had been because someone in her office was giving her the "harder jobs" and taking 10 minutes extra on their lunch. Not once did I feel she was being disrespectful as, FOR HER it had been a shit day. Its not a competition.

Hedwigtheowl · 29/01/2021 22:47

So much judgment on here: complete assumption that Kate is delegating to tutors.

What if she and William are doing it themselves? Is she then entitled to be tired, given she has 3 DC under 8?

LadyStarlight · 29/01/2021 22:48

I shouldn't think she knows the reality of just how exhausting parenting 3 kids actually is.

Thedogscollar · 29/01/2021 22:48

@Hotzenplotz
Doesn't really matter if none of us give a shit about what she said.

Fact is she was asked and gave her answer and is now being slaughtered for it.

I would not want to lead her life. She must have her shit days like we all do so what gives anybody the right to say she can't be exhausted.

Maybe somebody on MN can tell us all exactly what she gets up to hour by hour.

I can't imagine she saunters down for a cooked brekkie by 9 to sit all day watching daytime TV.

IcedPurple · 29/01/2021 22:49

It's not like Kate was going on complaining about how 'exhausting' it all was. She was on a Zoom call with a number of others and they were all asked to hold up a card describing, in one word, their experiences of parenting in the pandemic. She chose 'exhausting'. Others chose 'challenging' 'hectic' or something similar. What would you have preferred she wrote? "Doss", "easy", "relaxing"?

I think this is one situation where she couldn't really win.

RickiTarr · 29/01/2021 22:49

@MeanWeedratStew

She often tries to relate to mums by talking about how hard it is, but she really has no idea what it's like for those of us who have to actually work (whether as a SAHM or a working mum). I suppose her advisers must tell her to say these things.

I've never been a huge fan, but I went completely off her and William after their superspreader train tour. Showing your royal mug to the peasants is not essential work, ffs.

That seems a fair summary.
SoupDragon · 29/01/2021 22:49

@Dippingoutofdowndawg

It was the point during the interview where she claimed she’d had to learn how to become a hairdresser - whilst she sat there with perfectly coiffed locks. Why make these ridiculous statements. They’re really not necessary or believable - especially as your DH or HRH is almost bald anyway!
Presumably she meant trimming her kids fringes rather than shaving William's head with £10 clippers from Argos.
nursejekyll · 29/01/2021 22:50

Minniemango- only vulnerable children can have face to face tuition during the current lockdown. If her children are being tutored it will be remotely - which wouldn’t really help with online school lessons.

Forf0cksake · 29/01/2021 22:50

where she claimed she’d had to learn how to become a hairdresser

She said she "had became a hairdresser, much to her children's horror" and was laughing during it. You're literally clutching at straws for reasons to get offended here!

DoraTan · 29/01/2021 22:50

she claimed she’d had to learn how to become a hairdresser - whilst she sat there with perfectly coiffed locks.

That part of the interview was a bit cringe. Like she'd picked up some clippers on 'click & collect' at Argos and her and Wills had had a go on kids' hair in the kitchen Grin

BarbarAnna · 29/01/2021 22:50

@Forf0cksake I am not OP, but there were many words she could have used which would have not got peoples backs up like exhausting did. Off the top of my head, tough, hard, challenging, interesting...

SoupDragon · 29/01/2021 22:50

Maybe somebody on MN can tell us all exactly what she gets up to hour by hour.

I imagine they can given how so many know what people she has doing everything for her.

DareIask · 29/01/2021 22:51

We all have our own reasons for finding this difficult.

It's not a competition.

blubberyboo · 29/01/2021 22:51

Yabu she is allowed to say how she feels, regardless of how different her experience is to the rest of us.
It’s a normal statement coming from any parent. We all make throwaway grumbly comments
Quite often I mutter complaints about my job , my kids ,my family, the weather. In reality I should be thankful I have all that