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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by the Duchess of Cambridge's claim that home schooling is 'exhausting'

911 replies

Livingtothefull · 29/01/2021 21:43

www.edp24.co.uk/news/kate-middleton-video-call-parents-homeschooling-challenges-pandemic-7080128

I accept that lockdown has had an impact on everyone to some extent, however privileged. But I can't help being irritated by this. Even if we accept that she is doing the home schooling herself without any help, I don't think there is any comparison between her situation and that of many other people. I am not saying lockdown isn't difficult for her.....but it is a million times harder if you are say a single parent, struggling with home schooling and a minimum wage job which you may lose any time, worried sick about your and DC future if this happens. And doing it in a poky flat instead of a vast country estate.

And I know she may be trying to show empathy with the rest of us. But TBH I would have much more respect for the royals if they would just acknowledge their privilege rather than claim common ground which just isn't there.

OP posts:
Murphs1 · 29/01/2021 22:18

Yes totally agree with @SoddingWeddings, it’s not a competition!!!
If you’re a parent with kids who aren’t going to school, regardless of what situation you’re in, home schooling is tough. She’s trying to empathise, which is kind, whatever way you look at it.

SoupDragon · 29/01/2021 22:18

She would be far better saying nothing.

That would be a bit rude given she was answering a question.

Fieldofyellowflowers · 29/01/2021 22:18

What is she supposed to do? Say it's easy? That she loves playing with the kids in their massive garden? That she can afford for each kids to have a different laptop for each subject? She can't win.

Yes she has it easier than some. It doesn't mean that it is a piece of cake either though. For everyone, there are always people who have it worse and always people who have it better. It is not a competition and there is no rule that someone in her position cannot find things difficult.

GrouchyKiwi · 29/01/2021 22:19

I'm a SAHM who home educates her children anyway and I'm finding lockdown exhausting. There are no activities. The children are stuck at home for the most part. The weather is shit. They're bored and grumpy and fighting constantly. My children are very similar ages to Kate's. I can completely believe that she is exhausted at this time, even with whatever home help she has. It's a strange, difficult time for everyone.

She didn't say she had it as hard as the most hard off. She just said it was exhausting.

RedWelliesAreHot · 29/01/2021 22:19

@Annabell80

Because everyone else with 3 young children don't have their husband around all the time, nannies, tutors and goodness knows who else round to help. Because most of us don't have a huge garden and large playrooms for their children. Because most of us are working hard and worrying about how secure our jobs are. Royal Family haven't got a fucking clue what it's really like and they never will. I used to think Catherine was a bit more normal than the rest of them but has changed the longer she's been married to William.
No.

Not all people are like you describe.

You have no idea what Catherine is like, only the tiny bit of the media you see.

SunsetSenora · 29/01/2021 22:19

@MeanWeedratStew

She often tries to relate to mums by talking about how hard it is, but she really has no idea what it's like for those of us who have to actually work (whether as a SAHM or a working mum). I suppose her advisers must tell her to say these things.

I've never been a huge fan, but I went completely off her and William after their superspreader train tour. Showing your royal mug to the peasants is not essential work, ffs.

Absolutely @MeanWeedratStew! She has always come across as completely smug and self satisfied - a privileged woman who never had a proper job, and with her husband tried to do as little as possible in the way of public duties (remember the tables of how many engagements they carried out when they were repeatedly at the bottom?). I guess that someone felt this would make her look more 'relatable' but they should have known better. Mind you, she got away with all kinds of shit that Megan was pilloried for, so perhaps the royals think she is teflon.
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 29/01/2021 22:19

You may feel that way Krampus but maybe it helped someone else feel a little better about struggling, who knows?

She was asked a question and answered.

DoraTan · 29/01/2021 22:20

What else could she of said?? She was asked a direct question about what parenting is like in a lockdown, she could hardly say it's easy and she's having a great time.

She wasn't asking for sympathy FFS.

yvanka · 29/01/2021 22:20

it is a million times harder if you are say a single parent, struggling with home schooling and a minimum wage job which you may lose any time, worried sick about your and DC future if this happens. And doing it in a poky flat instead of a vast country estate

Well someone who can't have children may be annoyed by that person's complaints. There's always someone worse off, it doesn't mean people are not allowed to have feelings.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 29/01/2021 22:20

I voted yanbu but in her defence we all moan about aspects of our lives and there are usually people worse off than us - if we couldn't complain about anything because another person was having an even more horrible time, MN would cease to exist.
I do think she should only describe lockdown as exhausting if she really is doing all the homeschooling herself with no outside help.
I know she's trying to be relatable but she can't be because her life really is just do different. I expect it does feel hard to her though because she's comparing it to her life before.

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2021 22:21

Oh come on - she doesn't even choose to go out to work!

She has an army of help around her to shop, clean, cook and relieve her of her kids anytime she wants. Her husband is there all the time and their vast home and grounds are stuffed to their limits of every toy and facility other kids could only dream of - or their parents would have to travel and pay to access.

It ridiculous to suggest she knows the meaning of struggle.

Jacketpotato84 · 29/01/2021 22:21

Well on the other side of the coin that would mean that just because shes a royal she cant be be exhausted? Human like us right? Yes some have it easier then others but we all have our battles regardless of our status or financial situ

Whatisthisfuckery · 29/01/2021 22:21

As if either of them has ever so much as changed their baby’s arse.

It must be so difficult having someone managing all their staff for them.

DoraTan · 29/01/2021 22:21

Have said* Blush

cdtaylornats · 29/01/2021 22:22

So basically the OP read something about a one word answer the duchess gave. Made up a story added assumptions from her own obvious prejudice then based on something a Sun writer would be proud of criticised the Duchess.

newusername2009 · 29/01/2021 22:23

Surely it is all relative. Yes she prob has help but is prob used to more. Her level of help would prob be luxury to me right now but the level of difficulty for her is relative to her normal situation

Diverseopinions · 29/01/2021 22:23

Yes. I like Kate and William and what they do to fulfill their royal duties. I consider the royal duty to be to acknowledge the good - civic and public - which members of society do, and to support charities and community events and good causes. They take up some roles and leave government free to govern and do politics.

I don't think this personal talking to camera works. They've got their vehicle for communicating with us in the traditional way that royalty have always done it. This helping and reaching out feels a bit foisted on us, to me and unsolicited.

Kate is dutiful. She puts the most professional gloss on performing her royal duties impersonally and self-effacingly, never overshadowing the organisation she's visiting. She is tough and resilient. I think her way is to act her way into a dutiful role. I don't feel she's feeling the role she's performing in these solo public addresses.

Sometimes I wonder if she feels she has to push herself forward as a kind of spokesperson. Does she think she should do it because Meghan does it?

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:24

@peboh

Oh for Christ sakes. She's a mother of 3 young children, it probably is exhausting having them around 24/7 even with nannies etc. It is not a completion of who is struggling the most during lockdown. We should be supporting all parents, not tearing people down because their situation may be more privileged than yours. Others may look at you and think you've got it easy. We don't know any bodies lives behind closed doors.
Just living in the same huge house as three young children, with a literal team of housekeepers, chefs, gardeners and nannies attending to your every whim, is not exhausting.

She probably doesn't need to see or hear from the children from one day to the next if she doesn't fancy it.

She may, at worst, be a little bit bored and irritated she can't get her hair and nails done.

nursejekyll · 29/01/2021 22:24

Why would they have tutors? Tutoring at home wouldn’t be allowed under the current lockdown.

tatutata · 29/01/2021 22:25

Maybe she was just trying to empathise. Might have been better if she had explicitly acknowledged that it's not quite as tough for her. But she is still human.

GrouchyKiwi · 29/01/2021 22:26

Just living in the same huge house as three young children, with a literal team of housekeepers, chefs, gardeners and nannies attending to your every whim, is not exhausting.

She probably doesn't need to see or hear from the children from one day to the next if she doesn't fancy it.

She may, at worst, be a little bit bored and irritated she can't get her hair and nails done.

You can tell from the way the children interact with their parents in public that Kate and Wills are with them all the time.

MillieMooBee · 29/01/2021 22:26

She's human and she'll be struggling like the rest of us. I dont think they can win tbh and keep every single member of the public happy. Just live and let live x

wewillmeetagain · 29/01/2021 22:27

She cant do right for doing wrong in some people's eyes. Was she supposed to say " no its a piece of piss, the nanny does it all"? You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and how her children behave or learn. Her feelings are just as valid as anyone else and she is just as entitled to them as anyone else.

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2021 22:27

They still have staff present - they are part of the bubble agreed before lockdown. Just like the army of security that is still around.

minniemango · 29/01/2021 22:27

@DoraTan

What else could she of said?? She was asked a direct question about what parenting is like in a lockdown, she could hardly say it's easy and she's having a great time.

She wasn't asking for sympathy FFS.

She could have said "oh yes I do find it terribly stressful reminding the nanny to tell the governess to get all the children's school work done."