To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

One page only. Recruiters don’t have time to read. Short and concise. Time new Roman font. Most recent qualifications.

I have a friend who will Wright absolutely everything that’s she’s done on her cv. Even down to her secondary school awards which seem absolutely pointless.

@breatheslowandtrust

Was sent a LinkedIn profile once, looked very promising until I got to the bit about her aspirations being a good wife, mum and DIL. Lovely, but totally not appropriate for convincing a recruitment team that you have ambition and drive.

Oh come on @breatheslowandtrust - that's a bit unfair. Men are always putting importance of being a good father, husband and windsurfer (insert any expensive and kooky hobby) on their bios and I doubt people think that means they're unambitious!

@TTCat39

I am really surprised at the comments like "I don't care what you like to do in your spare time, I just want to know if you can do the job" and similar. It might be of no consequence to a recruitment manager who will never again work with the applicant. But to their line manager and colleagues this is really important. It shows what sort of person they may end up spending most of their waking hours with. And whether the person has added richness to their lives through experiences that will positively impact their wellbeing. If those people are to review an application, I would definitely suggest including some personal information such as that.

Err, I am a recruiting manager and I certainly care more about whether they can do the job more than I care if we have mutual hobbies

It would be lovely if we have things in common, but as a manager I want people who are eager to do the job, develop in their role, and are kind and respectful to colleagues. Whether you like gardening, concerts, crochet, film, football, I honestly don't give a shit.

CV - maximum of two pages, no spelling or grammatical errors. Don't send the same CV and covering letter to every job, you need to tweak to ensure it fits exactly with requirements.

I was once recruiting for a secretary for a manager who couldn't spell. I expressly told the agency that the person must have excellent spelling and grammar. During the process I had a call from the agency, they had the ideal candidate but had not sent their cv to me as they had visited the agency that day. I was told they would bring their CV with them.

At the appointment time, two girls arrived. I apologised as presumably the agency had double booked but I was informed by one of the girls that, in fact, she wasn't applying for the job but was here to translate for her cousin as she couldn't speak English and handed me a CV in Sanskrit. They were politely sent away and the agency rather less politely told exactly what I thought of them and they were never used again.

*write

LOL at the message from mum and dad @Sparklesocks!

Oh come on @breatheslowandtrust - that's a bit unfair. Men are always putting importance of being a good father, husband and windsurfer (insert any expensive and kooky hobby) on their bios and I doubt people think that means they're unambitious!

Really?! I have never seen this and would be equally cringing if it was mentioned on its own. Your CV is a place to show a potential employer what you can bring to the table, they aren't interested in your desire to strengthen relationships with extended family.

I once did a temping job at a fancy top exec recruitment agency, saw some horrendous examples that were far too long, done in fancy fonts, had a picture etc but by far the worst was one who said he was separated from his wife and he had kids - I mean, why would you put that on a CV?!

Hobbies: bone marrow donation, and God.

@DodoApplet

If you're submitting a hard copy of your application, a light-brown ring on the front page of the document where a coffee cup has been put will result in the applicant not even being considered: the CV will go straight in the bin. Likewise a soggy cornflake - and I've seen both.

Simple spelling mistakes imply illiteracy and/or carelessness, to say nothing of the self-evident inability to use a spelling-checker. Remember though that some of the more obscure punctuation errors might not be highlighted by your spelling checker - so get the whole thing proof-read at least once, and preferably twice. It might not be the done thing to criticise people openly for making grammatical errors these days, but that doesn't mean they aren't noticed - and when somebody has a limited amount of time to compile a shortlist of candidates for interview from a large pool of applicants, such errors can finish you.

As other posters have indicated, no more than two sides of A4. If there are a lot of applications, the shorter ones are likely to be read first. No fancy fonts, please.

If we're talking about a professional role, having an up-to-date entry on LinkedIn would be a good idea (in which case provide a link to it on your CV) - but if you do that, make sure what you tell them in your application tallies with it. If you've got your own website, provide a link to it - but only if the content is business-related. If you've got a Facebook page that's publicly accessible then they'll probably visit it, so make sure it doesn't contain anything at all that you wouldn't want them to see - especially not any derogatory remarks about your present employer.

Make sure you can satisfactorily explain any gaps in your career. This one really matters, because they'll be wary of applicants who have just served prison terms that they don't want to talk about.

If the interview is going to be held remotely because of COVID (e.g. via Skype or MS Teams), be prepared to be seen on camera. We had half a dozen candidates to interview recently that way: we didn't ask to see them visually because we felt it might be regarded as intrusive, given that they were probably calling in from their homes, but one volunteered. Her personality and confidence just shone through: she got the job.

Hope this helps

This is interesting - I have been interviewing recently and wouldn't dream of going camera-off, it's important to see people's faces to create a rapport.

OP, I've recently inserted a "notable achievements" section at the top of my cv which has gone down well, I.e:

Sept 2020 - contributed to successful complete end of £x million project completion
Aug 2019 - part of team winning x award

I've done some extra-curricular speaking and writing, so I put those publications/events in there too.

My best advice is to apply for as many jobs as you can, though. I have submitted maybe 10 applications a day for the last month and have got down to the final stages for six of these jobs so far. It's a numbers game!

An application for a health care support role. They had no previous experience working in health care, but put, "I can turn my hand to anything. I have previously given my horse an injection...".

@LAgeDeRaisin

Hobbies: bone marrow donation, and God.

Lol actually if you had these interests on your CV I'd interview you for the craic

@LAgeDeRaisin

Hobbies: bone marrow donation, and God.

That's "oh wow" as in impressive because I heard that hurts, but also "oh eow" as in "will they just kill us all in a week"👀 I am not sure why

@unlimiteddilutingjuice

A friend of mine knocked up a joke CV for his girlfriend intending her to use the layout as a template. She didnt look at it closely and handed it in. It listed her accomplishments as: "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"

😂😂😂😂😂

Worst i saw was someone put their DD bra size. ....applying for an office job. She wasn't invited to interview.

2 pages, never more. Don't write about yourself in the 3rd person. I personally loathe the personal statements "I'm hard working, results driven blah blah blah."

I do like to see interests. It is a conversational opener at interview. But I'm always amazed by how so many people who fill in the interest bit don't actually have any interests. If you have a qualification in whitewater rafting then say that. If you coach a kids football team then say that. But if all you can think of to say about your interests is "socialising with friends" then better not list your interests at all!

I agree about references; I've been retired for a while now, so I'm no so much in circulation, but have been asked in the past to provide references, both professional and character.
If I'd been asked beforehand, I'd give it real thought and try to be really positive, checking what exactly the job was and the relevance of what I knew about the candidate.
If I had not been consulted, my response would be polite whilst lacking enthusiasm, to put it gently.
Handy hint; check what your referee has said about you, and proceed with caution if they finish with, "If you would like further details, feel free to contact me."
Even if you're usually good at spelling and grammar, it's wise to let somebody cast a kindly eye over it. Sometimes, because you know what you meant, your eye slides over silly typing mistakes, and the computer does not always pick up if the answer is wrong in the context but a "proper word" (eg "a wide rang of literature") similarly if you use the wrong homophone (wood/would, their/they're/there etc.)

@Gwenhwyfar

"we dont see your age on your application (though obviously qualifications etc do give it away a bit) "

You usually have to give year of qualifications and years of starting jobs so age is usually totally obvious.

yes i did say that but we absolutely arent supposed to take it into account or hold it against someone!!

The biter bit - I've just spotted my own typo! "Not so much in circulation" probably says it all!

I got thoroughly fed up with multiple applications from Job Centre candidates who used us for practice at writing applications. Very time-consuming when we often had 60+ applications for a single post. I know they need practice but give a thought for those shortlisting please 😊

The Job Centre forces JSA claimants to apply for a minimum number of jobs per week/fortnight, or at least it used to. It didn’t matter if the only jobs being advertised were unsuitable. I remember having to apply for vacancies for which I knew I didn’t have enough experience to be shortlisted. I also applied for a few vacancies I really didn’t want, and crossed my fingers that I wouldn’t be shortlisted. It’s a waste of everyone’s time, but necessary to avoid being sanctioned.

I’ve helped my dh recruit for his business and seen some dreadful CVs. If they haven’t got a basic grasp of English then I don’t even look at it further. I let a couple of typos go because that doesn’t matter so much in dh’s industry, but in mine it would.

Years ago we were advertising for a junior administor / data input clerk and received a CV that actually said "All my life I've dreamed of doing data input."

Still makes me smile

Proof reading is vital - make sure you've run it through a spell-checker and checked for words it won't pick up and which aren't spelt wrongly but it's the wrong usage (their/they're etc.), and limit to two pages. Make sure it looks neat and easy to read - well spaced and laid out with the same, simple font throughout.

Whatever the recruiter is looking for, try and weave that into your CV without making it look like it's been shoe-horned in.

And I never mind a sentence or two about hobbies/interests - I want to know what makes you, you (in fact that's a question I ask at interviews) because I want to employ a person not a corporate drone.

I’ve never got the snootiness over Comic Sans Font

Really? It's a very childish font, which is entirely inappropriate in a work setting, and smacks of "Ooh, I'm kooky me!!!!" Any CV that features Comic Sans is going straight in my bin.

@Purplecatshopaholic

Seen a few (work in HR). Please no photos - they are the biggest cringe and general joke (seem big in some other counties though, so appear on my desk pretty regularly). Unless asked for - some industries do ask for them. No spelling mistakes, particularly if a skill is your attention to detale.... Not fancy fonts, or coloured text. Personally I don’t like a section on Interests - waste of time. I couldn’t care less what you like doing in your spare time, I just want to know if you can do the job.

Photos are de rigeur in Germany. Generally to stop someone of colour (but who has a German name) being accidentally shortlisted, but also because some men only want "pretty ladies" working for them.

You also have to SIGN your CV there, which is very odd.

@Twinberry

We had an applicant who had listed on their CV that they previously worked at Hotel Fuck. It was apparently a genuine town, I think in Germany. Not the worst, but it did get a few laughs!

This wasn't in Schlebusch near Leverkusen was it? I stayed there in 2007!

@breatheslowandtrust

Oh come on @breatheslowandtrust - that's a bit unfair. Men are always putting importance of being a good father, husband and windsurfer (insert any expensive and kooky hobby) on their bios and I doubt people think that means they're unambitious!

Really?! I have never seen this and would be equally cringing if it was mentioned on its own. Your CV is a place to show a potential employer what you can bring to the table, they aren't interested in your desire to strengthen relationships with extended family.

Yes on a CV I agree with you. I thought you'd said LinkedIn? Apologies if I got that wrong. I see it aaaalll the time on men's LinkedIn bios. Makes them relatable etc.