To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

When they literally put every single job they've ever had just makes me think your a jumper they seem to think they have a lot of experience.i had one that had nothing but his name telephone and "looking for a job"

Honestly I hate reading CV most of the time it's just nonsense babbling

Our employees tell us too many horror stories about recruiters.

I am sure they do.

using a recruiter is our last resort! My favourite kind of clients, the ones who pay the highest fees

My tip is to be careful with spelling and punctuation and get someone to proof read it. CVs should never be written as CV's.

My favourite kind of clients, the ones who pay the highest fees I really hope not!

We do charge a premium for desperation 😂

@Gwenhwyfar

"If you're putting a language on your CV it is beneficial is you can provide evidence of CEFR proficiency (A1, A2, B1, B2, C1, C2). This does require s formal assessment"

I don't think it does require a formal assessment any more than any other description of your level. With the Europass CV all languages have to be listed like that and you don't have to provide proof of it, you can give your own assessment of your level.

"..it is beneficial..", i.e. it is preferred, not that it is a requirement.

But evidence of proficiency will have higher standing than self-declared proficiency.

"But evidence of proficiency will have higher standing than self-declared proficiency."

If it's very important they'll test it at the interview.

There were a few that stood out:

• the man who had to be contacted via his mother
• the man whose career history alternated between shops he'd worked in and stolen from, and the prison jobs he'd done in between after having been found out (though I still think a colleague sent that one in)
• the man who's hobby was "watching people go about their business in the street"

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe

There were a few that stood out:

• the man who had to be contacted via his mother
• the man whose career history alternated between shops he'd worked in and stolen from, and the prison jobs he'd done in between after having been found out (though I still think a colleague sent that one in)
• the man who's hobby was "watching people go about their business in the street"

😂😂

Great username too! 😂

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe
Fabbest username!!!!!

On one decent CV I read then ruined it by adding she baked a mean Victoria sponge.

@deste

On one decent CV I read then ruined it by adding she baked a mean Victoria sponge.

What was your objection? Was it that there was reference to hobbies at all, or is it that you think talking about baking is too “domestic” or was it the “mean Victoria sponge” slightly twee phraseology?

@Snoringmutt

You have a vision of very short-terms moves. If you intend to work in the industry for more than 6 months, it's not really something I'd recommend. It doesn't pay off in the long term, and there's a reason some of us have been successfully working for years with long term I recruit inhouse - using a recruiter is our last resort! Our employees tell us too many horror stories about recruiters. ]] - this is a funny though!

I read the sample of that, Snoring, and it was terrible. And that's without mentioning phrases such as "like telling a fat kid no" . I'm not surprised it was self-published.

@deste

On one decent CV I read then ruined it by adding she baked a mean Victoria sponge.

Judgmental much?

I have been through a few recruiters and it always really annoys me when I take the time to do a role specific cover letter and they send back an email asking for a tailored cover letter. Either they didn't bother to read what I wrote, or they receive so much generic garbage that they send that to everyone, I don't know.

"bake mean victoria sponge" isn't exactly a professional thing to put on a cv though, is it. I think that's where the poster was going.

Like "run fast like a wind" for amateur athlete🤷🏻

I have to admit that as an applicant, I avoid ALL agency vacancies. When I did temp work through agencies many years ago, the agencies just seemed to add a layer of confusion - sending me to the wrong address, sending me on the wrong day, giving me the wrong start time. I’ve had it all.

When I was looking for permanent office work, I noticed that agency job adverts were often incorrect (I don’t want to apply for a job in my local town, only to find out it’s actually in another town). I like to know which company I’m applying to, so I can tailor my application accordingly. And I also like to know which companies have actually received my application.