To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

I used to be a recruitment consultant so saw some "interesting" ones in my time! 2 that stick in my mind:
A French applicant had translated his CV literally from French... ok. However, he had listed "police record - virgin". Apparently they are pretty through in France!
A woman listed her interests as dry-stone walling and puffin watching. She was moving to London from the Outer Hebrides!

@PearlclutchersInc

A couple of people I work with have 7 page CVs....They persist in listing every single bit of work they've done since they were new graduates (20 odd years later....) and refuse to take on board that the CV is supposed to showcase specialist skills.

There needs to be a roll your eyes emoji !

Yes, but there's this whole 'account for the gaps thing', you can't just skip over many years. I do have 'various temporary jobs' on my CV, but I think some old-fashioned employers want details of everything.

"refuse to take on board that the CV is supposed to showcase specialist skills."

Not really, traditionally it's your work history. Plenty of people don't even have specialist skills.

"A French applicant had translated his CV literally from French... ok. However, he had listed "police record - virgin". Apparently they are pretty through in France!"

Sneering at a Frenchman's English is quite childish. You knew what he meant didn't you.

@Gwenhwyfar

"A French applicant had translated his CV literally from French... ok. However, he had listed "police record - virgin". Apparently they are pretty through in France!"

Sneering at a Frenchman's English is quite childish. You knew what he meant didn't you.

She was just poking gentle fun on an anonymous online forum!

Sndering is probably THE most overused word on MN...

It's an adorable translation mistake, you don't know whether the poster did "aw" or sneered from written text. 🙄

I think putting that you like reading is a bad sign on an application to a library because it implies you don’t understand the nature of the work. It’s not really about books!

But it IS about books - along with everything else you specified. Unless enjoying reading is all that somebody has on their CV, I really fail to see how it would go against them, if they come up to snuff with the rest of the requirements. Would you really prefer somebody who meets all of the job requirements, but who just saw books like any other commodity, over somebody with the same background and experience, but also with a great love and knowledge of books?!

@ReggieKrait

This is great stuff, so glad this thread was started!

Apologies OP, can I just ask something? I’m considering a complete change of career direction (different sector, leaving my current profession). Do I have to explain very briefly as to why in my CV? Or should it wait until the interview?

I think you should explain in your covering letter and spell out how it links. Make sure your CV emphasises all the transferable skills and leaves out all the irrelevant details.

You need to make it clear why they should interview when you don’t have relevant experience. It’s not their job to dig through your CV and work out it out.

I used to work in a sector that’s considered sexy or interesting. We were inundated with applications essentially saying

“Although I’ve worked in banking for 20 years I’ve always been fascinated by X and I watch Y on Netflix. Please give me a job because it sounds fun .”

Yes, but there's this whole 'account for the gaps thing', you can't just skip over many years. I do have 'various temporary jobs' on my CV, but I think some old-fashioned employers want details of everything.

If very senior, very qualified with fantastic experience candidates manage to produce a concise, to the point CV without deleting half their work history, anyone else can.

I thought that you should put last up to 10 years anyway. Now whole life. I have last 8 and then just a line with -
Further work experience: title, title, title, title

Can I derail slightly and ask for advice?

I put myself through a public speaking course just before Covid for personal development as it was a weakness of mine. I have a couple of videos from the course on YouTube and was thinking of linking to one in my CV. "Get to know me better: link" which is an 8 min speech about overcoming challenges and developing skills. TEDtalk style.

Is this naff?

Naff? Yes. No one will watch it.

Many years ago when I had a Saturday job we had a staff vacancies sign up in the window and quiet a few people brought a CV in. One woman handed one to me and she had included her vital statistics! 😂 It was name address, phone number and the something like 36C, 26, 34 (size 12) This was for a retail job in a home furnishings shop! 😂

I get so bored looking through cvs. Make sure it is concise and not too long. If particular skills are key and not just the usual communication, attention to detail type waffle, but very defined skills then make it easy for the position reviewing your application to find evidence of these. I like to have these in the supporting letter backed up by the CV containing more details of the relevant roles and not so much of the non relevant/ non recent.

@riceuten

It doesn't cost anything to send an email, though I guess they want to avoid telling people so they don't hassle them for a reason they weren't chosen

I know exactly why I wasn’t chosen - because I wanted to have some semblance of a work/life balance, and the people interviewing me seemed to have no concept of this (“Oh, well we all love our jobs so much that we stay until we’ll into the evening” - my explaining that I had a sport at which I compete which meant I had a commitment outside work was met with blank looks of incomprehension...) and TBH it just saved me the job of saying I’d rather eat my own feet than work there

(And I landed a much better job a week later!)

I also like reading the hobbies, as it breaks the monotony. Two favourites were performing a skill on record breakers with Roy Castle and being a founder of a quidditch league. The later I thought was a joke until walking through a park one day and seeing people playing a lacrosse type game with a broom handle between their legs. Two teams! Maybe everyone except me knows this but someone did actually invent a quidditch league , people across play it!!

As someone who was looking hard for a new job two years ago,was desperate to leave my soul destroying old company some of these comments are very interesting. at the time I had 13 years experience in my field plus a bh degree in same field. I spent a long time editing my cv down to two pages etc. applied for loads of jobs with no luck had like five interviews out of 100 applications. paid a recruitment agency to help me with cv etc. was told my cv was way too short. recruiters want a cover aswell. spent half a day with them and my cv is now 4 and a half pages with interests at the end. referres are at request. it got me a good few interviews and helped me secure the job am in. some disaters interviews I had was going for an interview and after an hour talking was told now for your assement which was two hours long. but this was not mentioned when applied. also when started it there was an excel test but it was excel that hadn't been updated in years. so I was used to the 2016 version think it was the 2008 version. put me off straight if they not investing in their basic computer systems. another was a second interview, I had a good feeling from the 1st interview people were lovely etc. this time was with the manager of the company. I was discussing what I would do if I was in the rile they were advertising etc and she interrupted me saying oh I am not to sure if you would be doing that role. we not too sure what exactly this person will be doing I asked well why are you advertising for this role if it going to completely different 🤦‍♀️please give feedback aswell we understand everyone is very busy but job searching is hard work and can be soul destroying and such a confidence knocker any bit of information good or bad really helps

Someone once put they didn’t like admin when the majority of the job was admin. Turn everything into a positive. Make sure you adapt your CV for each job you apply for with a new cover letter, ticking off every attribute that the employer is looking for in either your CV or cover letter.

Sneering at a Frenchman's English is quite childish. You knew what he meant didn't you.

It isn’t too much to ask that someone actually checks their CV says what they think it does as lots of words translate differently. Just running it through Google Translate does not suggest that much effort has been made. After all, if their English isn’t good enough to understand that “virgin” has a different or specific meaning then that could very well impact on their ability to do the job at hand.

Thank you @IM0GEN, appreciate the reply. I’m working on my CV at the moment (it needs a lot of rejigging)

@whatnow41, maybe, if you can fit it, have a section on professional development and put these courses there? I put few as I was career changing and it seemed to go down well. I wouldn't put link though

Keep it short, keep it focused. IF you feel you must list interests, make sure they are related to the job/company you are applying to (I used to tailor interests to each company). Account for periods without employment briefly.

One of the best CVs I ever ran across was from a woman who had been home for 20 years raising her family. She listed herself as CEO and CFO for a family of 6, talked about budgeting, scheduling, etc. She was hired and did a fabulous job.

"It's an adorable translation mistake, you don't know whether the poster did "aw" or sneered from written text. 🙄"

Sounds like the poster turned him down for a job, or thought the decision maker should do. I read it as sneering, definitely.

Many years ago when I had a Saturday job we had a staff vacancies sign up in the window and quiet a few people brought a CV in. One woman handed one to me and she had included her vital statistics! 😂 It was name address, phone number and the something like 36C, 26, 34 (size 12) This was for a retail job in a home furnishings shop!

I'm guessing she had originally phoned in for an application form and overheard one of the sales team describing a tallboy to a customer: "Yes, Madam, it is indeed a beautiful and impressive chest - our manager is a huge fan of these ones"

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I thought that you should put last up to 10 years anyway. Now whole life. I have last 8 and then just a line with - Further work experience: title, title, title, title

Ah. I haven't heard that. Vitae means life doesn't it? I was picked up on a gap in one interview so have always been careful to explain everything since then, even if with just a short explanation.