To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

@underperformingseal

I once saw a meme, so long ago now that it was probably before they were even called memes, that said something like: "Recruiting? Remove unlucky people from your applicant pool by throwing the top half of your CV pile straight in the bin"
A friend was actually told that by Venture Capitalist about 20 years ago....

Somebody mentioned the video doing the rounds on social media recently where a candidate had sent their CV to a mate to proof read and he'd returned it with "fingering sluts" under interests, which was missed by the candidate who submitted to the agency. Kudos to the agency for actually reviewing a CV properly before submitting to the client. Alas, that recruiter has now been 'let go' presumably because she shared a video (which went viral) containing his details and has breached GDPR...

So the moral of the story is, if you forward your CV to somebody to proof read, be sure to then proof read yourself for any changes...

I'm also a bit flummoxed about why loving reading is a negative for somebody wanting to work at a library (love the idea of a conspiracy to get people to take the hated books away, though ).

I'd understand if somebody put 'avid bookworm' or even 'can never put a good book down' or something; but surely being a fan of reading is very congruous with being a good, knowledgeable, dedicated library worker? Somebody who doesn't know the difference between Wilbur Smith and Wilbur the Pig is not likely to be the most efficient employee.

Incidentally, it occurred to me that the written word might nowadays seem to some younger people as a very limited and outdated medium when applying for a job and 'selling' yourself in the most effective way. Have any recruiters received emailed applications in the form of Powerpoint presentations or YouTube videos? I can imagine that this would seem totally natural to many young adults these days. Even just a hyperlink to their YT profile or website? Maybe, eventually, it will become the norm - with those who only bother to send in a nicely-presented two-page Word document automatically considered terminally lazy, disrespectful and severely lacking in basic job-seeking skills?!

I have also been advised to reword perfectly good sections because they thought the grammar was wrong - whereas their rewording was completely incorrect.

This angers me far more than it possibly should. The clear implication is that, because I currently have a job, I am automatically more intelligent and academically much better than you in every way, just because of the situation that you're currently not in work - for whatever reason.

It completely disregards the fact that different people have different skillsets and levels of competence across the whole spectrum of human knowledge and ability, and effectively reduces it to a nasty assumption that all people are one of either an 'all-round smart person' or a 'talentless good-for-nothing', based purely on their current employment status. I also think it communicates the accepted message that those from poorer or other less-privileged backgrounds - who I'd guess are more likely to end up at a JC, even if for no other reason than that they don't have the luxury of savings to tide them over whilst looking for work independently. It strongly reminds me of 'I, Daniel Blake'.

Ironically, I've heard that one of the major routes to becoming an advisor at a JC is through originally being a client at the same place. I'd love to know at what point 'scum' suddenly becomes 'all-wise one'. I'm not saying that all JC advisors are like this whatsoever, but it's amazing how a little badge and smart suit can give some people delusions of mass superiority.

I also think it communicates the accepted message that those from poorer or other less-privileged backgrounds - who I'd guess are more likely to end up at a JC, even if for no other reason than that they don't have the luxury of savings to tide them over whilst looking for work independently.... will also be of low intelligence and also never bothered trying or working hard at school.

Sorry - I didn't actually finish the sentence! Good thing it was only a MN post and not a job application

@Gwenhwyfar

"Most children aren’t applying for jobs, though. The education or involvement of adult jobseekers’ parents is irrelevant."

Daisy, you didn't understand my comment. It was in reply to someone talking about work experience children and how they should get their parents to help them.

Oh, I see. That’s different. Apologies.

I think putting that you like reading is a bad sign on an application to a library because it implies you don’t understand the nature of the work. It’s not really about books!

Your day-to-day tasks may include:

managing staff, budgets and statistical returns
using IT systems to catalogue, classify and index stock
dealing with counter, phone and email enquiries
organising IT access and solving user problems
keeping up to date with new publications and selecting stock
making sure staff follow Freedom of Information, Data Protection and Copyright laws
promoting library services through displays, talks and community events like reading clubs
attending meetings and conferences
From: nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/job-profiles/librarian#WhatYouWillDo

Don't use "I".
Don't include photo.
Spell check.
Get rid of any non standard acronyms.
Don't lie.
1-2 pages max.
Sell yourself... most people don't. Everything sentence you write ask your self "so what?"

@LOTM

Don't use "I". Don't include photo. Spell check. Get rid of any non standard acronyms. Don't lie. 1-2 pages max. Sell yourself... most people don't. Everything sentence you write ask your self "so what?"

I'd forgotten about the use of bloody acronyms - it's a sign of poor communication skills, poor understanding of the audience - especially if you are applying for a job in a different industry. Sell yourself sure - but unfortunately just stating you are brilliant at everything does not convince anyone.

One of the worst examples I've seen was a woman bragging about having been Head Girl at her school, some 20 years before..!!

@snoringmutt - I once interviewed someone who'd spent 20 years with the same company which seemed to specialise in 3 letter acronyms for everything. Couldn't string a sentence together without throwing in at least 2 ;)

@fellrunner85. That reminds me, must add my 25m swimming certificate to the old beauty ;)

@fellrunner85

One of the worst examples I've seen was a woman bragging about having been Head Girl at her school, some 20 years before..!!

Focus on what you have done in the last 3 years - if you've taken your foot off the peddle and you're still living through the glory of the distant past - it's not a good sign!

Some on-line CV templates come out like Infographics, describing your career history in pretty pictures and colours.

No, just, no, unless you're applying to work on Blue Peter.

I'd rather hire somebody who takes the time to explain a career gap rather than one who thinks 'being' is spelt 'been'.

I saw one saying he was an Ass -Man
‘Assistant manager’ I’m all for short n sweet but....

Ideally one/two pages of facts followed by referees' details. If you want to give all your qualification just put 10 GCSEs/A-levels or whatever, details overleaf. Obviously specify degrees or professional qualifications if you have them.
Personally I wouldn't bother to give name of school unless it has competitive entry or has an excellent reputation.
No need to give every detail of every job.
Agree with others: no fancy fonts, no colours but type it well so that things line up and look neat. Have the font large enough to read easily. Avoid gaps in your timeline, it makes people suspicious - if you had time off for something be honest.
I also hate the CV's where SAHM try to blow up what they've been doing, better to take a quick evening or refresher course to show you're trying to update your skills.

As an employer I do find hobbies and interests particularly relevant and do like them included. I find they can tell me a lot about someone’s personality and whether they are compassionate or empathetic, which is necessary in our field. Hate spelling mistakes. Don’t include photos or age/date of birth or marital status or dependents.

Nowadays we have to use Application Forms to ensure equal opportunities and recently rejected a number of applicants to two roles being recruited as the application form just simply stated “see CV”. If they had bothered to read the first paragraph of the email response or the application form they would have seen that the application form front cover is removed and the recruiting panel only see the rest of the application form to ensure they remain unbiased for short listing. It was also clear no CV’s would be read until interview stage, therefore all those that did this were rejected immediately.

It was also recruiting for one of those roles that I had my worst interviewee ever! She spent so much of the interview complaining about a previous employer and how she knew best and wouldn’t listen to what they advised - we seriously couldn’t get a word in edgeways! She also, when questioned about her application, admitted that she had lied about her skills! She was not successful.

I was made redundant last year and was given outplacement support. Most useful advice I received was to write an achievements based CV. So brief summary of the role eg “PA to exec director blah blah blah” and then bullet point your achievements at said role. Seemed to work well for me.

Also take off anything that’s not relevant any more or out of date. Eg I used to have shorthand at 40wpm on my CV but seeing as I’ve not used it in about 15 years there’s absolutely no way I do it now - so useless including on CV. So remove anything you’ve likely forgotten to do!

Something else that might be useful to you - she helped me revamp my LinkedIn page as lots of employers are using that to find staff these days. Her advice was use a professional photo and background, write an introduction eg “highly efficient PA looking for a new role” etc.

Sure you can guess what I do for a living now

If you are on linkedin please make sure your dates and companies etc match what is on your cv. No text language (once received a cv nearly written fully in text language), no spelling mistakes and no photo.

@Purplecatshopaholic Lol, you mis-spelt detail as detale!

Don't list "armed robbery" as one of your hobbies.

A couple of people I work with have 7 page CVs....They persist in listing every single bit of work they've done since they were new graduates (20 odd years later....) and refuse to take on board that the CV is supposed to showcase specialist skills.

There needs to be a roll your eyes emoji !

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

A bugbear probably a thread of its own is not getting back to you after an Interview.

Absolutely this. I went to an interview with a Thames-based water company and spent nearly two hours in there. I haven’t heard back from them yet - as it’s been nearly 4 years since the interview, I’ve sadly concluded that I must have been unsuccessful

The excuse used to be from them that if you didn't hear from them in xx weeks, you either hadn't been shortlisted or hadn't got the job "due to the costs in postage".

It doesn't cost anything to send an email, though I guess they want to avoid telling people so they don't hassle them for a reason they weren't chosen

@PearlclutchersInc 🙄 rolled them for you😁

@KatherineJaneway

*Help anyone - got 7 rejections so far jobs - admin/clerical in NHS - getting disheartened! 4 interviews - no success - is it my age I am 52 female with no previous medical experience but over 3o years secretarial/admin for private firms ie Solicitors/Accountants - but want to work within NHS - help!*

@tillyandmilly

Have you asked for feedback? I tried to get an NHS job once but because I had not had a medical based job before I was rejected as they wanted someone who understood medical terms and language.

From my limited experience, from an admin perspective, the NHS will sadly take someone who vaguely matches the person spec with NHS experience over someone with zero NHS experience who meets ALL the criteria on the person spec. That's just the culture. I'd widen your search to include local government as well, to be honest.