To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

Spelling. I interviewed for a head teacher. One candidate had put on her CV that she had been to a Grammer School!

Check the norms for the industry - two pages is fine for most but in management consulting the second page will be going straight in the bin!

I’ve never had a profile/personal statement section on my CV, just bullet points setting out my experience and skills/education. No one has ever asked about my interests! The most important things are using buzzwords to get through automatic screening and really explicitly linking your skills to the criteria on the job advert. E.g. if the ad says that you need to be analytical, put that you analysed xyz at your previous job. In the cover letter you can set this out in more detail and say why you want to work at that specific company.

@ohnothisagain

Men are always putting importance of being a good father, husband and windsurfer (insert any expensive and kooky hobby) on their bios and I doubt people think that means they're unambitious! I’ve never seen that! Hobbies, yes (and I tend to ignore that section), but never being a good dad or husband.

I think the poster was talking about bios and Linkedin profiles, which are not quite the same as CVs.

I put the current year down as my year of birth once. The interviewer pointed it out 🤦‍♀️

"And I actually think it's very unfair that you friend had a long convo about a mutual hobby that got him the job, unless its in some way relevant to the work they were doing."

It was not relevant to the job, but it helped build rapport. Building rapport and chatting with your interviewer is allowed. He didn't get the job just because of that, but because he had the right skills and aptitude. It was a huge multinational and he stayed there for many years.

"They once told me to put my age and marital status on my CV. I have also been advised to reword perfectly good sections because they thought the grammar was wrong - whereas their rewording was completely incorrect."

Age and marital status is a no-no in a UK, but expected or even required in some countries.

If you are applying to study a science subject at university, don't state that you are planning to spend a gap year studying 'astronomy or astrology'.

And I actually think it's very unfair that you friend had a long convo about a mutual hobby that got him the job, unless its in some way relevant to the work they were doing.

I once spent almost an entire interview talking about dogs (not in a pet-related sector and not steered by me). I suspect if I'd said I was a cat person, I wouldn't have got the job.

@Gwenhwyfar building rapport is one thing, but tbh I've seen so much of this at big corporates, men hiring other men who are just like them - same hobbies, same social background - which isn't great. I'm sure there were other candidates that were just as qualified as your friend who probably missed out because they're not into hill running or whatever.

But you and I differ on how important hobbies are, and that's fair enough.

Dasher789

I would try not to include pronouns at all in the summary, for example:

"An English graduate based in London, seeking a position as a support worker or carer. Immediately available, with experience working as a teaching assistant in a special needs school and a full UK driving license. Also possessing a Level 2 qualification in learning disabilities."

If you can't say what you want to without pronouns, I'd go first person.

[quote cplusername1234]@Gwenhwyfar building rapport is one thing, but tbh I've seen so much of this at big corporates, men hiring other men who are just like them - same hobbies, same social background - which isn't great. I'm sure there were other candidates that were just as qualified as your friend who probably missed out because they're not into hill running or whatever.

But you and I differ on how important hobbies are, and that's fair enough.[/quote]
I don't think the manager even had the same hobby, he was just curious about it. Nothing wrong with that. This being a multinational and the office not being in my friend's home country, they didn't really come from similar backgrounds either.

"I'm sure there were other candidates that were just as qualified as your friend who probably missed out because they're not into hill running or whatever."

You have no idea whether that's true.

Sell yourself just right. Don't oversell yourself. Two corkers for me this week:

1. The University of Cambridge - General Certificate of Secondary Education - so that's Cambridge the exam board and a GCSE then. Do not try and pretend you have been to Cambridge Uni.
2. Trilingual Guru in X, Global Influencer - neither related to the role and the position listed was 2nd after graduation. You are not a guru in your 2nd job, but the trilingual is good. You are not a global influencer if you have more than 300 followers on Insta.

@yvanka

Dasher789

I would try not to include pronouns at all in the summary, for example:

"An English graduate based in London, seeking a position as a support worker or carer. Immediately available, with experience working as a teaching assistant in a special needs school and a full UK driving license. Also possessing a Level 2 qualification in learning disabilities."

If you can't say what you want to without pronouns, I'd go first person.

That’s not good. It’s very ungrammatical and has spelling mistakes.

@Gwenhwyfar I don't know if it's true, but neither do you really.

We clearly have different opinions, and that's fine! And you didn't have this level of detail in your earlier responses, which would have made me consider things differently.

Maybe it's the type of work I do, but I've always had super interesting chats with candidates about their actual work, and that's what has gotten them the job in the end

daisypond

Where are the spelling and grammar mistakes?

@yvanka

daisypond

Where are the spelling and grammar mistakes?

Eg: “Immediately available, with experience working as a teaching assistant in a special needs school and a full UK driving license.”

Makes no sense. Do you mean you are available with experience working as a teaching assistant? You don’t mean that. It’s licence, not license.

@yvanka

daisypond

Where are the spelling and grammar mistakes?

The only one I can see is licence. When it's a noun it has a c at the end in UK English rather than an s. I suppose yvanka might be arguing that the sentences are not full sentences, but I think that's fine on a CV - you often get bullet point type prose.

I'd say to generally just keep it simple and to the point. Make sure it's all relevant to the role. When I'm recruiting, I'm looking through a fair few CVs and I cast aside the ones that have too much irrelevant stuff in.

We offer a bonus payment if you refer a friend who gets hired. One guy seems to have decided that he can make lots of money this way and seems to have a "friend" perfect for any role the department advertises. He sent one my way. The CV had a huge introductory paragraph where the applicant said he was suitable for the role because he had experience of . Then his entire employment history listed none of it. Pretty sure my workmate just told him what to list to get the job. (We'd overheard one of them telling another workmate that "they never actually check your experience" ). Needless to say the guy did not get the job

"Makes no sense. Do you mean you are available with experience working as a teaching assistant? "

Come on. You understood very well. She's an experienced teaching assistant who has a full driving licence and is immediately available.

I work at a jobcenter albeit not in the uk. Interests can add colour and in some cases are relevant eg hunting is quite a popular hobby here and if you are applying to the road maintenance dept of the local council it shows youre used to being outdoors in all sorts of weather.

It is rare that someone comes from being sahp because no one stays home here unless the child is rather ill. But if theyve been caring or on ML whilst not in work I tell them to put it on their cv to explain the gap. But just one line.

But other than that what everyone else has said. Clear layout, target the application.

Applicants for sign language interpreting jobs who don't know sign language. This happens constantly. I've seen so many I can't even begin to count them. It still makes me so angry.

I wasn’t doing the hiring but the CV did the rounds of the office: talked about themselves in the third person, listed (very) tenuous celebrity ‘friendships’, absolutely riddled with SPAG errors. AND THE POWERS THAT BE HIRED HER. You can imagine what she was like to work with and how long she lasted.

Use a plain simple email address like JennySmith @ gmail.com, not (I've changed slightly for discretion) JennyPubCrawlBabe@ etc I did google a "pub crawl babe" and it is a person who "dresses up" to accompany stag dos on and "make their evening go with a bang" . We didn't interview...

@mrandmrslobster

Applicants for sign language interpreting jobs who don't know sign language. This happens constantly. I've seen so many I can't even begin to count them. It still makes me so angry.

Still see "sign language interpreter" positions advertised (usually colleges) asking for Level 2 BSL. For the salary they offer, they'd be lucky to even get a level 2.

Yet to see one asking for "Level 0 but willingness to learn" but the night is young...

As for the worst cv ive ever seen the one that didnt have the mans name or contact details is a winner IMO.